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Warren Zimmer

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Sword of Conquest MK II
Damage - Rank I (+100)
Removable (-50)
Activation I-50)
Ongoing (+100)

I'm trying to write this blade up to be similar to the Sword of Conquest Warren had originally, but I'm not sure how to adapt it to the game.
 

Seija Kijin

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Sword of Conquest MK II
Damage - Rank I (+100)
Removable (-50)
Activation I-50)
Ongoing (+100)

I'm trying to write this blade up to be similar to the Sword of Conquest Warren had originally, but I'm not sure how to adapt it to the game.

First off, the move would look something like this when making new moves.
Sword of Conquest MK II
Damage - Rank I (100)
[Modifications: Removable (-50), Activation (-50), Ongoing (+100)]

Note Rank 1 damage is akin to a knife, so damage rank 2 is more what you want since that is what they set as a general sword or long dagger damage threshold. Also since its a bit harder to get rid of purchases you don't want; because you need tokens to do so, I'd make sure this is what you want to start with before purchasing it.
 

Ahana Varma

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First off, the move would look something like this when making new moves.
Sword of Conquest MK II
Damage - Rank I (100)
[Modifications: Removable (-50), Activation (-50), Ongoing (+100)]

Note Rank 1 damage is akin to a knife, so damage rank 2 is more what you want since that is what they set as a general sword or long dagger damage threshold. Also since its a bit harder to get rid of purchases you don't want; because you need tokens to do so, I'd make sure this is what you want to start with before purchasing it.

Ugh, that old format is lame. Doug's way so much more aesthetic.

It'd be much better to write it like this:

Sword of Conquest Mk II
Damage 1 (100)
--Removable (-50)
--Activation (-50)
--Ongoing (100)


Also, Warren, you will still need to include a description of how your Ability works in addition to the list of Effects & Modifiers, so if you could write one (or copy/paste it from the OV) then that'd help people advise you on how to write it.

Because right now this looks to me like a really weak lightsaber which somehow takes 10 seconds to start up and is also poisonous... which is probably not what you were going for at all...
 

Warren Zimmer

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Sword of Conquest Mk II
Damage II(200)
--Removable (-50)
--Activation (-50)
--Ongoing (100)
A sword that is made out of purple and black, and gray metal. It takes three seconds for Warren to unsheathe the sword, and five seconds for him to activate the sword's properties. Capable of clashing with most weapons, the Sword of Conquest MK II is a technological recreation of a blade once possessed by Warren Zimmer when he was in the Omniverse.
Total Cost: 200
 

Seija Kijin

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Sword of Conquest Mk II
Damage II(200)
--Removable (-50)
--Activation (-50)
--Ongoing (100)
A sword that is made out of purple and black, and gray metal. It takes three seconds for Warren to unsheathe the sword, and five seconds for him to activate the sword's properties. Capable of clashing with most weapons, the Sword of Conquest MK II is a technological recreation of a blade once possessed by Warren Zimmer when he was in the Omniverse.
Total Cost: 200

Activation requires at the minimum 10 seconds to let you use the ability (of which you are still only doing 8 seconds, i'd personally just make the statement 10 seconds to activate in any situation). I'd assume this isn't what you're looking for so Activation can go away. Besides that the ability should be good if it's how you want it.
 

Seija Kijin

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Lunar rays "Lunatic image"
Debuff tier 5 (100)
[modifications: Chaotic (-50), finite (-50), indiscrimanant (-50), affects multible x5 (+250).]
Using the myth that the moon's ray's cause insanity. Chang'e uses her weakened divinity here to make herself into a bright light for a few seconds using this exact concept. Anyone who looks upon her during this time becomes much more aggressive losing the ability to tell friend from foe. She won't use it more than once a fight/scene to conserve her saved up faith.
 

Ahana Varma

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Activation requires at the minimum 10 seconds to let you use the ability (of which you are still only doing 8 seconds, i'd personally just make the statement 10 seconds to activate in any situation). I'd assume this isn't what you're looking for so Activation can go away. Besides that the ability should be good if it's how you want it.

You're correct, though you missed a couple things:

1) This Ability also has no need for the Ongoing Modifier. Warren isn't trying to set people on fire or poison them... or anything similar. Those sorts of things are examples of Ongoing Damage. A normal sword is not.

2) Warren hasn't calculated the costs correctly. Remember, the costs of all of the Modifiers are multiplied by the Rank number of the Effect; it isn't only the Effect's cost which rises.

As such, it should really be:

Sword of Conquest Mk II [100]
Damage 2 (200)
--Removable (-100)

See, I was trying to do a summoning type thing for the blade. Unfortunately, there's no side-effect / weakness that could qualify for such. To my knowledge anyway.

Don't worry, Warren, you don't need to add any more negative Modifiers. The lowest cost an Ability can ever be is €50 per rank, and since this is a Rank 2 Ability, that means that it cannot cost less than €100. And now that Ongoing has been removed, the Removable Modifier alone is enough to bring it down to the minimum price.

Unlike Drawbacks on the OV, negative Modifiers on Multerra only affect an Ability's price, not its power, so even with only a single negative Modifier, your sword will be just as powerful as any other Damage 2 sword. So you can draw it and activate it instantly if you'd like without having to worry that it will be weak if you do.
 

Ahana Varma

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Lunar rays "Lunatic image"
Debuff tier 5 (100)
[modifications: Chaotic (-50), finite (-50), indiscrimanant (-50), affects multible x5 (+250).]
Using the myth that the moon's ray's cause insanity. Chang'e uses her weakened divinity here to make herself into a bright light for a few seconds using this exact concept. Anyone who looks upon her during this time becomes much more aggressive losing the ability to tell friend from foe. She won't use it more than once a fight/scene to conserve her saved up faith.


There are a few corrections needed. Taking those into account, here's how I'd write it:

Lunar Rays "Lunatic Image" [1000]
Debuff 5 (500)
--Chaotic (-250)
--Finite (-250)
--Indiscriminate (-250)
--Affects Multiple 5 (1250)

Using the myth that the moon's rays cause insanity, Chang'e, through her weakened divinity, can cause herself to shine with bright light for a few seconds. Anyone who looks upon her during this time becomes much more aggressive, losing the ability to tell friend from foe.
To conserve her saved up faith, she won't use this power more than once per fight/scene.

You can ignore the layout and description changes if you'd like, as those are just matters of personal preference, but you will need to get the costs right.
Remember to multiply by the Effect's Rank! ;)
 
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Pecan

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Grapnel Cable With Claw - 300
Move Object Rank 2 - 200
Modifiers: Ranged (100), Self/Others (100) Limited: Must have a small enough surface to grab (-100)

Implanted in Pecan's right palm is a small metal disc. This disc houses an incredibly compact grapnel cable with a claw attachment. When fired this braided cable launches towards a target and latches one by way of a small clamp reminiscent of a "crane game" machine. While this clamp is incredibly strong it must have a surface small enough for it to grab. Generally speaking it cannot latch onto anything that a small hand couldn't grab. Once attached Pecan can reel the object towards himself. If the object is bolted down or otherwise too heavy to be moved he can allow himself to be dragged to it.
 

Kokonoe

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Variable Creation: Battle Tech
Variable Creation - Rank 3(600)
-Affects Multiple(150)
-Limited - Certain elemental damage is weakened on certain things. Examples being Electricty won't work well on a creature made of earth, or Fire being less effective on water creatures.(-150)
-Indiscriminate(-150)
-Removable(-150)
-Weakness - Fire fails to activate the stun effect while Electricty fails to activate Damage over Time effect.(-75)
-Finite - She only builds around ten or so before hand before she needs to use her magi-tech to reload her supply.(-150)


Effects the Creation can do
Damage(Fire, Electricity, or Ice) - Rank 4(400)
-Trigger -Hits a target when thrown, walking within a five foot radius of it.(400)
Debuff(Temporary Stun - Electricty/Ice Only) - Rank 3(300)
Debuff(DoT via Burn/Frost - Fire/Ice Only) - Rank 2(200)
-Ongoing(200)

Total: 1375

How does this look?
 

Dr. McNinja

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This move was made before I noticed certain modifiers. Would this now need Self/Other instead of Ranged?

Dispensable Armor Module
The Iron Butler's back has six cases on it, each with two modules. Mr. Jarvis can send a module to fly up to an ally and wrap a rudimentary armor around them, granting them some protection against damage.

Protection (100) Rank 1
Modifiers: Ranged (+50) ; Ongoing (+100) ; Indirect (+100) ; Finite [12] (-50)
Cost: 300
 
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Pecan: Good to go.

Kokonoe: When using Variable Creation, you should be making things in the "same class of items" as each other. From what I saw, it looks more like you're just trying to loop 3 Abilities into 1 to save some Essence. Considering you're attaching different Effects to each element, and using Limited/Weakness to determine which Effects go where, I'm gonna hafta reject this. You're better off making this as three separate Abilities with their own deals.

Iron Butler: Self/Other is only necessary if you can change the target of an Ability from yourself to other people. Since you only have one target (other people), no need to change.
 

Kokonoe

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You're more right I should split them, it's cheaper split apart between three than the one. I was more trying to mix my traps into a single skill somehow, they are all basically the same only differing in minor effects.

They don't translate well here, due to differing in the minor effects, though.
 

Kokonoe

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I could try to split my stun and damage sets apart though idk if it will end up more expensive or less expensive than the three split apart.
 

Tenshi Hinanawi

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Kokonoe: You can split them into different Abilities per element. In fact, you got a ton of negative modifiers, so fitting all that into separate effects would ideally push down the costs to the minimum of €50 per rank.

Just doing the maths, you have 3 instances of Damage 4 at €200, 2 instances of Debuff 3 at €150, and 2 instances of Debuff 2 at €100. Everything adds up to a grand total of €1100. Less than before. So go for it!
 

Ahana Varma

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Variable Creation: Battle Tech
Variable Creation - Rank 3(600)
-Affects Multiple(150)
-Limited - Certain elemental damage is weakened on certain things. Examples being Electricty won't work well on a creature made of earth, or Fire being less effective on water creatures.(-150)
-Indiscriminate(-150)
-Removable(-150)
-Weakness - Fire fails to activate the stun effect while Electricty fails to activate Damage over Time effect.(-75)
-Finite - She only builds around ten or so before hand before she needs to use her magi-tech to reload her supply.(-150)


Effects the Creation can do
Damage(Fire, Electricity, or Ice) - Rank 4(400)
-Trigger -Hits a target when thrown, walking within a five foot radius of it.(400)
Debuff(Temporary Stun - Electricty/Ice Only) - Rank 3(300)
Debuff(DoT via Burn/Frost - Fire/Ice Only) - Rank 2(200)
-Ongoing(200)

Total: 1375

How does this look?

I'm going to try and rewrite this Ability for you... however it would be easier to do this correctly if you would've included a description of the Ability when posting it here... nothing but a list of Effects and Modifiers doesn't really explain how something is actually going to work. Your attempt was slightly clearer than it could have been, since you did include some information (which should've been part of the description) in the Modifier list... but try not to add notes to your Modifiers except when absolutely necessary, and always keep them as short as you can... for extra details, just write a description.

Also, I will point out that you may not want to get your hopes up as far as costs are concerned... Tenshi's estimate completely failed to take into account any of the Modifier costs... with those included it'll be much more expensive, especially as your Ability is not actually eligible for the Limited and Weakness negative Modifiers. You can include limitations and weaknesses for the sake of making an interesting narrative if you'd like, but as they only partially apply to your Ability, you can't get a cost discount for them.


Variable Creation: Battle Tech [1850]
Variable Creation 3 (600)
--Removable (-150)
--Finite (-150)
Damage 4 (400)
--Triggered (5 ft Radius) (400)
--Affects Multiple 1 (200)
--Ranged (200)
--Removable (-200)
--Indiscriminate (-200)
--Finite (-200)
Damage 2 (200)
--Ongoing (200)
--Triggered (Detonation) (200)
--Affects Multiple 1 (100)
--Indiscriminate (-100)
--Finite (-100)
Debuff 3 (Sluggishness) (300)
--Triggered (Detonation) (300)
--Affects Multiple 1 (150)
--Indiscriminate (-150)
--Finite (-150)

Kokonoe can construct a wide variety of explosives to aid her in battle at a moment's notice, though she can only produce a total of 10 "Battle Tech" devices per Fight/Scene, due to the limited supply of magi-tech parts she is able to carry on her person at any one time. This Ability consists of three separate Effects: the first allows Kokonoe to quickly craft an explosive of up to 4 ft in size, provided the parts she uses to do so have not all been used up or stolen from her. The second involves activating and throwing the device (again, provided no one grabs it before she can). If she misses her throw, the explosive will activate a proximity sensor, detonating whenever there is anyone anyone (including Kokonoe herself) within 5 ft of it. Lastly, in addition to the Damage of the initial detonation, anyone within range will also suffer one or more of the following additional Effects, depending on the type of device crafted:

1) Fire: Be set aflame and continue to burn until the fire is extinguished. This Effect is useless against water-based lifeforms and also anyone who just happens to be underwater, as water extinguishes flame.
2) Electric: Be partially paralysed for a few seconds as the electricity coursing though their system, causing them to move sluggishly for a few seconds. This Effect is useless against earth-based lifeforms.
3) Ice: Be chilled briefly, slowing them for a few seconds as well as inflicting continuous freezing damage on their body until they can warm themselves up. This Effect is useless against fire-based lifeforms, as they have no trouble keeping warm.


As you can see, the Total Cost of this Ability is now €1,850... more than Tenshi predicted, but far, far less than it would be if you split it into 3 separate Abilities in order to keep the Limited and Weakness Modifiers that you wanted, as Jeff suggested... that'd be somewhere around €3.5k, by my estimation.

Also, you'll notice that I've changed your stun into sluggishness. That's because a stun would be 100% movement reduction, which is Debuff 5... with Debuff 3, you should only be slowing an average person by 60%. And I've made a few other changes as well. If you can't understand why I've written something in the way I have and would like an explanation, feel free to ask away. (y)
 
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Kokonoe

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I'm going to try and rewrite this Ability for you... however it would be easier to do this correctly if you would've included a description of the Ability when posting it here... nothing but a list of Effects and Modifiers doesn't really explain how something is actually going to work. Your attempt was slightly clearer than it could have been, since you did include some information (which should've been part of the description) in the Modifier list... but try not to add notes to your Modifiers except when absolutely necessary, and always keep them as short as you can... for extra details, just write a description.

Also, I will point out that you may not want to get your hopes up as far as costs are concerned... Tenshi's estimate completely failed to take into account any of the Modifier costs... with those included it'll be much more expensive, especially as your Ability is not actually eligible for the Limited and Weakness negative Modifiers. You can include limitations and weaknesses for the sake of making an interesting narrative if you'd like, but as they only partially apply to your Ability, you can't get a cost discount for them.





As you can see, the Total Cost of this Ability is now €1,850... more than Tenshi predicted, but far, far less than it would be if you split it into 3 separate Abilities in order to keep the Limited and Weakness Modifiers that you wanted, as Jeff suggested... that'd be somewhere around €3.5k, by my estimation.

Also, you'll notice that I've changed your stun into sluggishness. That's because a stun would be 100% movement reduction, which is Debuff 5... with Debuff 3, you should only be slowing an average person by 60%. And I've made a few other changes as well. If you can't understand why I've written something in the way I have and would like an explanation, feel free to ask away. (y)

This is way closer to what I was going for than I did, I also for some reason though Variable Creation 2 was 2ft instead of 4ft. I could probably use thiss for 1650. Which isn't too bad. Thank you very much, it'll help me learn the system more. ^-^
 

Ahana Varma

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Glad to be of service. ^_^

EDIT: Though reducing Variable Creation 3 to Variable Creation 2 would actually only reduce the cost to 1750, rather than 1650... remember that the amount deducted for each of the attached negative Modifiers is also reduced... so VC would cost 400 instead of 600, but Removable and Finite would only reduce the cost by 100 each instead of 150 each.
 
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