Ability Approval I

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Ahana Varma

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User name: Ahana Varma

Name of Ability?
Bunny Ears

Ability Effects:
Sense: Hearing 3 (300)
--Ongoing (300)

Descriptor: Ahana’s rabbit ears are extremely sensitive to sound, allowing her to pick up very quiet noises even from a long distance. Also, they are able to swivel and can move independently of one another, allowing her to easily pinpoint the location of whomever she hears.

Essence Cost: 600

Mod Edit: Approved.
 
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Apra

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User name: Brain

Name of Ability?
Archive Magic

Ability Effects:
Communication 2 (Magic, Telepathy) (200)

Descriptor:
Brain can summon holographic computer screens (as well as a holographic keyboard to type on) which allow him to do basically anything a smartphone could. The holograms look similar to those in the above image, though without the wing- and diamond-like symbols. The number of screens shown in the image is just an example, not a hard upper limit; each screen functions like a separate window would on a phone. Archive also allows him to use Telepathy.

Essence Cost: 200

Staff Edit: Approved.
 
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Labor 9

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User name: Labor 9

Name of Ability?
Robotic Body

Ability Effects:
Upgrading (changes in bold)
Adaptation: Nonbiological Anatomy (300), Immune to Pain (200), Starvation and Thirst (50)
Growth R1 (200) + Ongoing (100)
Protection R4 (400)
[1200>1250]

Descriptor: -Due to recent events in her history, Hiyoko is now a part of the “Labor” unit of Cybernetically Enhanced Human. Being designed as the “next step” of humans, the body of the machine is significantly taller, and removed the need for most human organs. The metal used is also quite sturdy.

Essence Cost: 1250

Staff Edit: Approved.
 
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Sigmund Vrell

Cosmic Brain
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User name: Sigmund Vrell

Name of Ability?
Devour Magic

Ability Effects:
Protection - Rank 5
Modifiers: Limited (Magic only, -250), Removable (-250)

Descriptor: Description: Sigmund extends his tome in front of him, as if using it as a shield. If a spell is cast at him, the crystal set in the book’s cover will activate, absorbing the magical energy. It can only absorb so much energy at once, however, so more powerful spells will still do some damage. Cannot be used if Sigmund’s tome is taken from him.

Essence Cost: 250

Staff Edit: Approved.
 
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Victor Wolfe

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User name: Victor Wolfe

Name of Ability?
Stealth Belt

Ability Effects:
Updating
Stealth belt
Concealment(sight) Rank 4 (100*4= 400)
Modifiers: Removable (-50*4=-200)
Limited (-50*4= -200)
Concealment(hearing) Rank 4 (100*4=400)
Modifiers: Modifiers: Removable (-50*4=-200)
Limited (-50*4= -200)

Descriptor: Description: At the push of a button on his belt Victor becomes harder to see due to a distortion field from the belt that fits Victors form. Now upgraded this bubble is even harder to spot and traps all unwanted sounds within. This lasts until the assassin is hit breaking the bubble.

Essence Cost: 400

Staff Edit: Approved.
 
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Victor Wolfe

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User name: Victor Wolfe

Name of Ability?
Stealth Belt update

Ability Effects:
Concealment (Sight & Hearing) 4 (800)
--Ongoing (400)
--Limited (-200)
--Removable (-200)

Descriptor: Descriptor: Description: At the push of a button on his belt Victor becomes harder to see due to a distortion field from the belt that fits Victors form. Now upgraded this bubble is even harder to spot and traps all unwanted sounds within. This lasts until the assassin is hit breaking the bubble. (Forgot this should have ongoing)

Essence Cost: 800

Staff Edit: Approved.
 
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Kokonoe

Kraw's Local Magi-Tech Mayhem
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User name: Kokonoe

Name of Ability?
Zero Gravity

Ability Effects:
Damage - Rank 3(300)
-Weakness - Beings immune to fall damage won't take damage from this skill when being used as a drop unless an object is being used to fall on top of them.(-150)
-Limited - Beings with no physical substance can't be damaged at all by this; also damage is only caused by the target being slammed into something, dropped from a high height, etc.(-150)

Move Objects - Rank 3(300)
-Ranged(150)
Flight - Rank 2(400)
-Ongoing(200)

Descriptor: Discription: Literal zero gravity based magic, it's normally used to help Kokonoe do heavy lifting or fly... However it does has combative uses like disabling opponents for a short period of time... Gathering objects to rain down on people and other creative uses.

Essence Cost: 1050

Staff Edit: Unfortunately, this needs at least a few changes.

1) It doesn't qualify for Limited. Both of the Negative Modifiers you've listed are Weaknesses only.
2) The Effects/Modifiers list is supposed to be concise. Using several words is alright if absolutely necessary, but avoid full sentences.
3) Weakness is only worth -25 Essence per rank, not -50.
4) You've added Ranged to the Move Objects but not to Damage. This means you can't hurt anyone by throwing things at them unless they are in melee range of Kokonoe. I assume that this is not what you are intending.
5) Move Object doesn't have Ongoing, which means that you can only lift things for a few seconds. As you have given Flight Ongoing, I don't think this is what you are hoping for.

Assuming I'm right about what you're wanting from this Ability, here is how I would recommend re-writing it:
Name of Ability?
Zero Gravity

Ability Effects:
Damage 3 (300)
--Ranged (150)
--Weakness (Adaptation: Falling (if dropped), Movement: Phasing) (-75)
Move Object 3 (300)
--Ranged (150)
--Ongoing (300)
Flight 2 (400)
--Ongoing (200)

Descriptor: Literal zero gravity based magic, it's normally used to help Kokonoe do heavy lifting or fly... However it does has combative uses like disabling opponents for a short period of time... Gathering objects to rain down on people and other creative uses.

Essence Cost: 1725
If you don't want to spend that much Essence on this, consider lowering the ranks of your Effects, or taking more Negative Modifiers.
When you have decided what you would like to do, please submit another form for this purchase. If you would like to discuss this Ability before doing so, feel free to ask about it in the Ability Workshop.
 
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Sosina

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User name: Sosina

Name of Ability?
Knowledge (Overseer)

Ability Effects:
Minion and Casualty Discount (5 rank) (upgrading from rank 4)

Descriptor: Minion and Casualty Discount (5 rank) (upgrading from rank 4)

Essence Cost: 1500

Staff Edit: Approved.
 
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Kokonoe

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User name: Kokonoe

Name of Ability?
Zero Gravity

Ability Effects:
Damage 3 (300)
--Affects Multiple (150)
--Weakness (Adaptation: Falling (if dropped), Movement: Phasing) (-75)
--Indiscriminate (If objects are dropping I figured this would be a good fit.) (-150)
Move Object 3 (300)
--Affects Multiple (150)
--Ongoing (300)
Flight 2 (400)
--Ongoing (200)

Descriptor: Literal zero gravity based magic, it's normally used to help Kokonoe do heavy lifting or fly... However it does has combative uses like disabling opponents for a short period of time... Gathering objects to rain down on people and other creative uses.

Essence Cost: 1575

Staff Edit: If this is Telekinesis, or telekinesis-adjacent, do you want Ranged on it, at least on Move Object/perhaps Damage? As it stands you can’t really move the objects you lift out of the immediate area around Kokonoe, they’d basically be stuck to her even if she moves. If that’s what you’re going for it’s fine, but as whoever corrected the above post said, I’m not sure that’s what you were going for.

In addition, I might like to see why the damage is indiscriminate mentioned in the description, just something along the lines of “dropping stuff does occasionally hit allies” or something, but that’s less important.
 
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Kokonoe

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User name: Kokonoe

Name of Ability?
Zero Gravity

Ability Effects:
Damage 3 (300)
--Affects Multiple (150)
--Ranged (150)
--Weakness (Adaptation: Falling (if dropped), Movement: Phasing) (-75)
--Indiscriminate (-150)
Move Object 3 (300)
--Affects Multiple (150)
--Ranged (150)
--Ongoing (300)
Flight 2 (400)
--Ongoing (200)

Descriptor: Literal zero gravity based magic, it's normally used to help Kokonoe do heavy lifting or fly... However it does has combative uses like disabling opponents for a short period of time... Gathering objects to rain down on people and other creative uses.
This attack can be indiscriminate when used in certain ways, such as a mass of falling or slammed down objects.

Essence Cost: 1875

Staff edit: Approved.
 
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Labor 9

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User name: Labor 9

Name of Ability?
Hiyoko's Head

Ability Effects:
Updating after reviewing Rules (Changes in bold)
Sense (Sight, Hearing, Smell) R1 (300) + Indirect (100)+ Concentration (-50)
[150>350]

Descriptor: When being turned into Labor 9, Hiyoko's old head was kept as a keepsake, and she can now register anything it sees, hears, or feels with enough concentration.

Essence Cost: 350

Staff Edit: Approved.
 
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Ahana Varma

General of Neo New Babylon
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User name: Ahana Varma

Name of Ability?
Permitted Aura of the Divine Conflagration > Immortal Aura of the Divine Conflagration

Ability Effects:
UPGRADING ABILITY (changes in bold):

Healing 6 > 7 (1200 > 1400)
--Affects Multiple 2 > 3 (600 > 1050)
--Ongoing (600 > 700)
--Indirect (600 > 700)
--Weakness (Inorganic, Non-Living) (-150 > -175)
Adaptation: Chemical or Toxic Environments (50)
--Affects Multiple 2 > 3 (100 > 150)
--Indirect (100)
--Weakness (Inorganic, Non-Living, Requires Healing) (-25)
Adaptation: Disease (50)
--Affects Multiple 2 > 3 (100 > 150)
--Indirect (100)
--Weakness (Inorganic, Non-Living, Requires Healing) (-25)
Adaptation: Radioactive Environments (50)
--Affects Multiple 2 > 3 (100 > 150)
--Indirect (100)
--Weakness (Inorganic, Non-Living, Requires Healing) (-25)
Adaptation: Nonbiological Anatomy (300)
--Affects Multiple 2 2 > 3 (100 > 150)
--Indirect (100)
--Weakness (Inorganic, Non-Living, Requires Healing) (-25)

Total Cost: 4000 > 5025

Descriptor:
Whenever anyone near Ahana (regardless of any physical barriers between them) is harmed, magical, golden flames break out spontaneously over the injured area, rapidly healing the damage and then receding when this is done. Though this Ability activates without her conscious control, she can choose to exclude certain people (e.g. her enemies) from being affected, should she so desire.

This aura is so powerful that it can even keep people alive long enough to be healed if they have taken ordinarily fatal damage to their vital organs (e.g. decapitation). What’s more, it repairs all damage done by diseases, toxins and radiation faster than it can be inflicted, essentially rendering those in range immune to these hazards. Note that these secondary Effects are all tied in to her healing magic, so if she is ever unable to heal someone for whatever reason, these things will also not affect that person.

Lastly, note that this Ability only heals, it does not repair. This means that: a) it doesn’t fix torn clothing and armour, and; b) it is completely ineffective on inorganic and/or non-living characters. This means that fully robotic beings (and potentially cyborgs, depending on whether their biological or mechanical parts are the ones damaged), as well as true undead, will not be healed (though “infected”-type zombies are fine).

Essence Cost: 5025

Staff Edit: Approved.
 
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Apra

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User name: Brain

Name of Ability?
Darkness Magic: Unnamed Spell #1

Ability Effects:
UPGRADING ABILITY (changes in bold):

Damage 2 > 3 (200 > 300)
--Ranged (100 > 150)

Total Cost: 300 > 450

Descriptor:
When holding a hand with all fingers straight and pressed together, Brain can fire a small burst of magic power (i.e. green light), at the speed of a bullet, from his palm.

Essence Cost: 450

Staff Edit: Approved.
 
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Apra

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User name: Brain

Name of Ability?
Darkness Magic: Unnamed Spell #2

Ability Effects:
Protection 3 (300)
--Ongoing (300)
--Concentration (-150)
--Side-Effect (two-way) (-150)

Descriptor: By concentrating continually, Brain can summon and maintain a sphere of magic energy (i.e. a shiny, green bubble) around himself, which protects him from harm. Though the shield does move with him wherever he goes, it prevents anything from passing through it from either side, so must be dropped in order for him to attack.

Essence Cost: 300

Staff Edit: Approved.
 
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Broly

[A] Mrs. Gilgamesh
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User name: Imogen

Name of Ability?
Interferon MCT II

Ability Effects:
Communication 1 - 100
Removable (-50)

Descriptor: The Interferon Multi-Communication-Tool is a key piece of a equipment for any sleuth. Doubling as both a method of communication and a portable data tool, this handy piece of equipment can help you either order that pizza or decrypt sensitive data from it's multi-band radio.

Essence Cost: 50

Staff Edit: Approved.
 

Sarah Kerrigan

The Zerg Swarm
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User name: Ridley

Name of Ability?
Vicious Jaws

Ability Effects:
Damage Rank 4

Descriptor: Ridley's long, grasping beaklike maw is filled with rows of razor-sharp teeth, and powered by the pirate's own powerful musculature. In combat, biting and ripping apart his opponents using his bite comes natural to the Space dragon, and any bite has the potential to inflict heavy damage on an opponent.

Essence Cost: 400

Staff Edit: Approved.
 
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Sarah Kerrigan

The Zerg Swarm
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User name: Ridley

Name of Ability?
Draconic Endurance

Ability Effects:
Endurance 1

Descriptor: Ridley is of a senior race that has endurance far above what a normal creature should be capable of. While he is still recovering his body, he is still above average in raw stamina.

Essence Cost: 100

Staff Edit: Approved.
 
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Orion

Saiyan Elite
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User name: Orion

Name of Ability?
Omega Blaster

Ability Effects:
Damage 4 (400)
+ Ranged (200)
+ Affects Multiple 1 (200)
--- Finite [Only two shots] (200)
--- Side Effect [Draining] (200)
--- Indiscriminate (200)

Descriptor: Orion summons an immense amount of his ki instantly and compresses it into a small, shimmering blue orb and hurls it at his foe. The resulting explosion is powerful, but the ability takes a heavy toll; he can only use this attack twice in one battle before the ki drain locks the ability until he can rest – not to mention the general fatigue it imparts.

Essence Cost: 200

Staff Edit: Approved

Side-Note; since you've only paid for one instance of Affects Multiple, I've put a '1' after it. AM is a special Modifier because it can be stacked with itself, so writing it this way makes it easier for people to tell at a glance how big the AoEs of your explosions are.
 
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Sigmund Vrell

Cosmic Brain
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User name: Sigmund Vrell

Name of Ability?
Blight Wraith

Ability Effects:
Summon (300)
Modifiers: N/A

Descriptor: Description: A servent the of Sy’gif, the God of blight. The Blight Wraith is a six foot tall, vaguely humanoid creature wreathed in an obscuring green fog exuded from vents across its back and arms. If one were to banish the fog surrounding the wraith, they would find an emaciated creature of tainted grey-green flesh with pods of toxin-filled resin glowing an eerie green embedded in it. The Blight Wraith is loyal to Sigmund’s commands, but is an inherently nervous creature and actively avoid being interacted with by any other humans or creatures. It instead prefers to lurk in dark, stagnant places, attempting to hide itself when not required by its summoner.

Essence Cost: 300

Staff Edit: Approved.
 
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Sigmund Vrell

Cosmic Brain
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User name: Sigmund Vrell

Name of Ability?
Toxic fog

Ability Effects:
Damage - Rank 3 (300)
Modifiers: Ongoing (300), Affects multiple (150), Indiscriminate (-150), Side effect (Flammable, -150), Activation (-300)
Concealment (Sight) - Rank 2 (200)
Modifiers: Ongoing, (200), Affects multiple (100), Indiscriminate (-100), Side effect (Flammable, -100), Activation (-200)

Descriptor: Description: When threatened, the Blight Wraith conceals itself in a green cloak of obscuring fog, about six feet in diameter. Anyone other than the Wraith who attempts to venture into the fog will also be concealed, but will find themselves being choked by the toxic gas that makes it up. Additionally, the gas is extremely flammable, with a small spark being enough to send it up in flames. This may not kill the Wraith outright, but it will expose it to the air while it recovers and leaves the creature exposed. It will take 30 seconds for the Blight Wraith to muster up a new cloud after its current one has been destroyed through whatever means.

Essence Cost: 250

Staff Edit: I'm not entirely convinced Flammable is enough to be a Side Effect here. A Side Effect is typically going to result in a negative outcome 100% of the time it is used. I'd say that Flammable is much more likely to be a Weakness, since I doubt that it's going to come up every single time you use this Wraith.
 
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