Absolutely 100% Accurate Dante's Abyss Simulation

[Omelette Robotnik]

(Apologies for the quality... this was hard to do on a Chromebook)


As you can see, everyone is here. And then some!

Some of these team-ups don't make sense. Karl and Mirage working together? Unlikely. Also, leave it to DP to blow his load too soon.

Taylor... come on. Really? I thought you woulda... shook that off. The two big guys duked it out, and, unsurprisingly, Jade's nemesis prevails. Demetri falls in a hole and dies... well, I told you it wasn't the Deme Saga. And, fuck you Shinku! You stabbed my mom!



Karl would be proud that so many people died on Day 1.

 

[Rebecca Chambers]

What do you mean UNSURPRISINGLY.

 

[Omelette Robotnik]

Jason, buddy. You're already dead. You don't need warmth. Slurt, on the other hand... poor kid.

I think Shinku might want to reconsider his cuddle buddy. Last guy to snuggle with a Saibaman... well, he didn't enjoy the experience.

Remembering that planet, Riddick?


I thought Riddick preferred shivs, but whatever.

Leave it to Caboose to forget he's bleeding out.

Mom #2 killed a guy! A guy with bad hair!

Welp... I'm dead. With no Christine to protect him, a Slurt is an easy target.

Uh... what? Jason? Where ya going, buddy?

Pour one out for the fallen. Especially Slurt.

 

[Omelette Robotnik]

I don't think that's a good idea, Pepsi Man. She's a biter.

I wonder how much convincing Anders needed...

Good guy Caustic. He'd never kill anyone.

How you diverting his attention, Lilith? Send it to me in DMs.

Screamsicle is dead. Much sadness was had.

Say what you will, but Karl cares for Kevin.

Toga getting revenge for last DA.


Rejoice, for Toga has saved the entire Crossroads!

 

[Omelette Robotnik]

That's embarrassing... Mirage is an idiot. His trap was probably a porkchop with a fishing hook in it.

No one can withstand the delicious taste of Pepsi.

Me too, Kevin. Me too.



Good guy Anders. He'd never kill anyone.

I wonder if Karl will kick Toga off the Comet now...

What did you use, Nico? Nicotine?

Shoulda lit yourself on fire, McNinja.



Lots dead today. They'll be missed (no they won't).

 

[Sandor Clegane]

Jester, Caustic, Riddick, Aster, and Toga pulling through.

 

[Omelette Robotnik]

--Strangles-- Chokes on Pepsi*
Fixed it for you.

Eww... no. He smells weird, Toga. Don't make friends with him!


Toga was probably on Instagram.

Pepsi Man is straight up merciless.

Galskap isn't out there, Sig. Sorry.

Karl just couldn't work up the motivation to live anymore... not without Kevin.

Riddick just wants out of this silly thread.

 

[Omelette Robotnik]

Shikiria gave Riddick his wish, like a real friend.

Caustic been thinking about winning since the Pre-Show.


Well, I guess dysentery isn't as common on Desert worlds.

What happened, Chara? Did Lilith dump you?


Only 3 dead this time. I feel like that isn't enough for the bloodlusting public. Let's hope nothing happens that will result in massive death!

 

[Omelette Robotnik]

Lilith needs those supplies, so she don't get pregnant!

For the True Heir!


Really peaceful Feast. Probably because Kefka and Lilith didn't go.

Leave Mom #2 alone, your weird clown man!

Uh oh... this can't be good. But at least it proves Coke is the superior beverage.

 

[Omelette Robotnik]

Far cry from the comforts of home, eh Anders?

You're questioning your sanity, Kefka? Now?! Only now?!

Well, we all knew this was coming.

Did Kefka and Lilith trip on the same root?

I think Aster just got burnt out from all the movement. You'd think she had a murder mob chasing her or something.

Awww! Rogue and Anders became a couple! And died immediately afterwards.

That's more like it!

 

[Omelette Robotnik]

Take solace in the fact that it took two people, and 8 days, to take you down, Caustic. Everyone else can take solace in the fact the island smells better now.

Mom #2 making me proud! Shikiria making me proud by killing Mirage!

And then there were 2.

Nooooo! Mom #2!!!! Why????!!!

I mean, ahem, Shikiria kills Jester and I am not biased.

A true underdog victory because no one knows who this is!

Just look at those kill counts. Just like every DA, 5 people do all the work, and everyone else just hangs out until they die.

 

[Omelette Robotnik]

Hope you enjoyed, and I hope my commentary made you smile!

 

[Omelette Robotnik]

BrantSteele Hunger Games Simulator

If anyone else wants to give it a try

 

[Demetri Malius]

Mirage killing Caustic in a 2v1? Couldn't be...