"...and he's almost entirely useless, just sits around our house all day drawing, eating our food, and occasionally washing some dishes!" the man grumbled.
"Sounds rough."
"My wife says we should have him around until he can get back on his feet, but he seems perfectly healthy to me!"
"Sure, yeah."
The man took a long drink of his ale, and Elise gazed longingly at the bulging carotid artery pulsing under his jaw. Alcoholics like this always got their blood pumping when they were pissed off, and it was practically causing her to salivate. Hopefully, by this point, he was drunk enough that she could coax him somewhere private and get her dinner over with. The middle-aged guy...Elise was pretty sure his name was Ulrich or something...slammed his mug back onto the countertop and breathed a heavy sigh.
"...and worst of all, this guy is trying to teach my kids magic of all things. Magic! Can you believe it? Next thing you know they'll want to go to the Academy in Arcadia and--" Ulrish blubbered, but Elise had stopped paying attention.
Dammit. A few months ago she wouldn't have given two rats about this guys stupid kids, but ever since her time among the refugees in Dante's Abyss, she had suddenly started feeling something resembling a conscience again. But then again...maybe there was some opportunity here.
"Magic huh? Well, you may not like this but...I'm a bit of a spellcaster myself. Nothing major...but maybe I could get this guy out your hair without stressin' your lady. Feel?" Elise smiled dastardly. Ulrich blinked for a moment, trying to parse the subtext of her words. Elise continued to lament at how delicious and stupid he looked in the warm, flickering torchlight.
"That's not really...what I had in mind for my evening." Ulrich frowned, looking at Elise with new apprehension. Perhaps her offer had been a bit too forward, but the farmer was pretty tanked and she could work with that.
"Aight sure, but let's just hope she's not at home given this magic boy a job without a resume." Elise shrugged, feigning a sip from a glass of some stupid, overly fruity drink Ulrich had ordered her. She had hated this kind of appletini garbage, even when she had been alive.
"Maggie would never-" Ulrich started fuming, but Elise raised a predatory eyebrow, and touched the dope's arm with a cold finger.
"No? And what'choo doin' here talkin' to me?" the vampire taunted. Ulrich seemed to turn this over in his mind for a moment, before swiftly killing the last dregs of his artisans IPA or whatever.
"...I just want to get back to normal, quiet business as usual." he breathed. Elise did her best to seem sympathetic.
"Let me help. We'll call it even." Elise smiled softly, nodding towards her almost untouched liquor.
Elise sighed bleakly as she exited the passenger seat of Ulrich's beat-ass truck. She hadn't necessarily wanted to make a lot of noise after getting back to Erde Nona for the first time in, what, seven years? She had told Strazio, Luka and Nico that she would just be gone for a month or two while she found native speakers for the ancient languages spread across Hammuzi's vault. Failing that, she could try and track down the old archivist's tower somewhere out here in the Hinterlands and try to jack his notes directly.
Luckily, it was unlikely that she would be tracked all the way out here by her old vampire coven. The last thing she needed was to try and get a runback of the last time they had rolled up on her. That remote possibility became less remote, however, if she started making a ruckus like merc-ing some deadbeat mage out of the local yam shed.
Whatever. If she couldn't bring herself to snack on Ulrich, then some rogue mage would be a perfect alternative...maybe she'd even get a couple of potions or arcane knick-knacks out of it.
Elise stood patiently by the front door as Ulrich unlocked it, stepped inside, and hesitated.
"He uh...sleeps in the storage shed out back. It would be better if this whole mess didn't come in the house-" Ulrich started, but Elise sighed impatiently.
"Uh huh, and what if he's shacked up with your boo?" she drawled. Ulrich grimmaced.
"Just...fine. You can come in if you have to, just make it fast." the father groaned. Elise smiled and nodded patiently. Perfect. That was all the invitation she needed for both the main house and his stupid turnip shack in the back yard. Ulrich slipped into the quaint little white-washed farmhouse and closed the front door with a barely audible click.
Time to get to work. Greenstripes poked his eyes out of her backpack expectantly.
Get to the roof and keep your eye out for our man. I'll head out back.
The terratopus obliged and began to shlip-shlap his way up the side of the brick chimney. Elise hunkered down low and began creeping through the vegetable patch. She wasn't picking up any signs of magical wards or abjuration magic...this deadbeat was either careless or a novice, and she was feeling better about her odds every second. Greenstripes informed her that everything was still clear, but even still, the vampire allowed a cloud to roll across the waning moon before stealing across the farm's backyard.
The shed was a fairly simple thing; a single room wooden shack with a single-pane window covered in the grime of decades. It's roof had a generous carpet of lichen and was starting to sag slightly, and frankly looked a bit chilly for a night this far north -- not that she could feel such discomfort anymore. Well, if she had the time, then it might be worthwhile to get things properly set up.
The shack had one entrance; a wide double door in the very front. Elise crept like a shadow around to the baseboard and began scrawling and Ephemeris sigil in the dust. The magical circle pulsed with purple malice once when the spell was set, and the vampire immediately went around to the window to spy on her prize.
The darkness of the shed was no barrier for her as her burning red eyes pierced the darkness. A slumbering humanoid form was stretched out on a mattress pad, and old woolen blankets were pulled over his head. The only thing truly visible of her prey was a lock of sandy hair. Again, no magical protection or wards seemed to be guarding the little mageling.
Good.
Elise slipped back under the windowsill and around to the front of the shed again, and checked in with her familiar. Greenstripes said everything was still clear, and that the house had four humans inside -- Ulrich, presumably his wife, and two kids, all of whom appeared to be sleeping...although Greenstripes suspected Ulrich was faking it and keeping his eye on the back yard.
Whatever. It was now or never.
Elise knocked on the door to the shed, and wove a small illusion to pitch her voice up to sound like a child's.
"Hey, are you awake?" a child whispered outside Izaneus' door. The young nobleman heard it distantly through the veil of sleep, and rolled over with a sigh. Somewhere, deep in the voids of nightmare, he was trying to avoid thinking of his father again.
His father, endlessly searching for a way back to the front of his mind like a burning eidolon.
"Hey, wake up! Something is wrong!" the child's voice came again, with a bit more urgency. Izaneus sat up slightly and suppressed a yawn.
"Rean? Can this wait?" Izaneus grumbled. He sat up a little straighter, and pinched at a headache growing between his eyes. There was a noticeable pause before the kid spoke again.
"I think...I did some bad magic. Mom and Dad are hurt-"
Izaneus slammed through the front doors of his shack, dressed only in a pair of evening slacks and a thin shirt. The outside night air seemed to be unnaturally cold as a dry breeze blew across the cluttered back yard. The young wizard looked around wildly, but didn't see any sign of the boy.
He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as he instinctively went into a defensive stance. The nobleman uttered a short oath, and conjured a magical shield, held at the ready. His gaze swept across the yard again, but nothing moved.
"Rean...?" he called with slight hesitation, taking a step forward. Phortea stepped directly into the awaiting Ephemeris circle, which enveloped his body in a violent, ghostly swirl of silent flame. The shield spell went off, surrounding him in a veil of arcane protection, but it was too late. He could tell that some strange curse had taken hold of him.
"Oh, it's you." came a familiar voice from behind him. Izaneus whirled around and looked up, only to see a cloaked silhouette against the half-clouded moon. Gleaming red eyes sized him up and down before the assailant dropped to the ground with barely a sound. Did he recognize that voice? The memory was distant and brief.
"...you have three seconds before I conjure your death. This house is under my protection." Izaneus half-lied.
"Oh please. You can't front with me." The figure chuckled darkly, and drew its hood back. Izaneus squinted in the dim light of the glimmering shieldlight before letting out a disgusted sigh.
"Lieutenant Elise...is this the best way to say hello? If you wanted to kill me, you should have done it while I was sleeping." Izaneus hissed. Elise rolled her eyes, and her posture relaxed slightly.
"My methods are my own...but you got bigger problems, sweetheart. What if I told you that some folks didn't want you 'round here no more?"