Dante's Abyss 2k22: Registrations (IC)

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Fennec Shand

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Fuck… everyone thought they were killing machines these days.

A line of redshirts spilled out of a large, domed building in the middle of Karim, all pointing and whispering excitedly about the huge banner that’d popped up a few days back. Dante’s Abyss. Fennec wanted to puke at the thought.

Since when had killing become so commercial? Fifty-eight years she’d been spinning around the Crossroads’ star on this planet and that one, working as one of the best – and most discreet – mercenaries the galaxy had ever known. In all that time, she’d never seen anything like the rampant disregard for the art of violence that this whole murder comet shenanigans brought about. She swore to the Arbiters that all those randoms dropping in from other dimensions was the worst fucking thing to ever happen to the Crossroads.

She sipped her bantha blaster, judgment swimming in her eyes. The pathetic fucks that were trying their hand at this year’s competition would never compare to her; she’d been in his game far too long to be shown up by any amateur psychopaths. When the competition had first popped up, she’d spared the briefest thought on entering and showing them all what a real expert looked like. That had quickly faded, though, when she’d realized one key factor:

This was all beneath her.

She had to admit, though: watching the would-be killers line up for their impending doom was ever so slightly entertaining. At least, it’d help pass the time till her mark arrived.

She hadn’t been on Mesa Roja long, and didn’t plan on staying. A prolonged vacation on Nos’talgia had led to a light wallet, which had led to a job of necessity, which had led her to this garbage heap. Now, she waited – rather impatiently – for her target to arrive, so she could kill them and get on with her life. She hadn’t exactly decided where she’d be bound for next, but she needed enough money for an extended stay somewhere, and this job supposedly was going to provide that.

Clink clink clink.

Fennec’s gaze traveled to the freshly opened door of the establishment, where – sure enough – the man in the dazzling white suit with the red plom bloom on his lapel waltzed in. He looked altogether too high fashion for this dump of a disc planet, with his perfectly-tailored outfit and delicately coiffed hair. A thin moustache danced just above his upper lip, and his eyes flitted furtively around the bar, ostensibly looking for a place to sit. Fennec sighed, bored. This would be too easy, then.

She stood from her window-side table. He wouldn’t have any time to find his own place to take a load off, because with any luck, she’d have ended his life and hopped on the next transport out of here within the next two beats of this story. Her armor clunked as she stood; she lifted her helmet off the table and slid it on, pushing past a nearby table and angling directly for the wealthy mark.

She scowled as she pressed toward him. He’d been sold to her as a master codebreaker, but he looked like someone more at home in Arcadia’s rich galas than in the backrooms of their banks. As she approached – more clumsily than usual, perhaps, due to her disinterest, but still with the fervor of a master assassin – he clocked her. She readied herself to sprint after him if he ran, but strangely… he didn’t. He simply smirked.

“Should’ve run when you had the chance,” she shrugged, lifting a vibro-dagger out of her belt. She clicked the button on the hilt, the purple energy field springing up around its blade as she lunged between two tables and aimed it directly for his neck. The patrons around her gasped and exploded from their seats, dodging out of the way of the oncoming assassination, but the master codebreaker made no such evasive manuevers. He lifted his cane, striking the dagger away and, much to the bounty hunter’s shock, knocking Fennec off-balance.

The woman stumbled, releasing a confused grunt as she turned and lifted the dagger again. The codebreaker flicked his cane up, knocking the dagger out of Fennec’s hand and sending it flying across the room. It stuck in a table several meters away, leaving the woman’s eyes wide as she turned back to face her mark.

She let a split second go by before she readied to lunge again.

“Uh, uh, uh,” the codebreaker lifted a finger. He reached out and grabbed a chair from one of the newly vacated tables nearby, slid it closer to him, and plopped down. Fennec stared, more than a little shocked, as he gestured for her to sit in the seat opposite him.

She blinked for a moment, the pieces starting to fit. She’d been in this business too long for behavior such as this not to lead to a logical conclusion.

“You’re the one who hired me,” she observed.

The ‘master codebreaker’ – if that was really his identity at all – smirked.

“Good,” he nodded, “they told me you were quick, and it seems you are.”

“The quickest,” Fennec said, sliding into the chair opposite him.

“I beg to differ,” the codebreaker chuckled, lifting his cane and pointing toward the dagger impaling a nearby table. Scared, confused patrons stared at it in awe. “Nevertheless, you should do.”

Fennec lifted her helmet off of her head. She didn’t like being toyed with, and this odd man seemed content to treat her like one of his playthings before getting down to brass tax of what, exactly, was going to start lining her pockets. “Did you bring me here to speak in riddles, codebreaker?”

He chuckled. “Not at all, ma’am, not at all.”

“Then, the point,” she leaned forward, slamming her helmet on the table. “Let’s get to it.”

“Right-o,” he smiled, also leaning forward. Their noses were so close together they almost touched. Fennec played the game for a moment, then backed away. This motherfucker was weird.

“You’ve been hired for a job,” he continued, “and, as you’ve so astutely guessed, madam, I am your employer. You understand that because of the complex and challenging nature of this job, I naturally would want to see a demonstration of your skills before committing to hiring you.”

“And now you have,” Fennec scowled, “so what’s the gig?”

The codebreaker blinked for a moment, then started to laugh.

Fennec was not nearly so amused.

“You think this was the test?”

Frankly, she did not have time for this. She needed Coin, and she needed it now, and if he was going to treat her like a doll instead of the esteemed bounty hunter she was, then she was going to get the fuck out of dodge, find another job, and subsequently another way off of this fucking disc. She wouldn’t be dragged about, and she wouldn’t be underestimated. So, without as much as another word, she grabbed her helmet, pushed out of her chair, and started to head towards the door.

“You’re to go to Inverxe,” he called after her, “to the surface of the moon.” The bounty hunter stopped dead in her tracks. In all her time in the Crossroads, few dared to travel to the actual moon itself – she’d been on the Hub, certainly, but even she hadn’t deigned to launch herself into the hellmouth that was the ice moon. Arbiter only knew what sort of beasts and monsters lurked there, and if reports were true, the Unmaking had it in their grasp now, making it all the more formidable a challenge. Or, perhaps, she thought, ‘challenge’ was too kind a word. ‘Planet-sized death wish,’ more like.

“And what makes you think I’d want to take a job on that frozen husk of a moon in the first place?” she spat, whipping around.

The codebreaker smirked. He reached into the inside pocket of his snow-white jacket, pulled out a small tablet, and slid it across the table. Fennec cautiously walked back over, picked it up, and glanced down at the screen. The sheer amount of Coin he had in his accounts was… unthinkable, certainly.

“At least a fraction of my wealth is yours if you complete the job I have for you,” he muttered, furtively leaning towards his chosen bounty hunter.

She scoffed, and tossed the tablet down. “What’s the job?”

The codebreaker shook his head. “No, no,” he lifted a finger, “first: the test.”

Fennec sighed, crossing her arms. “Alright, I’ll bite,” she rolled her eyes, “what do you want me to do? Who am I going after this time?”

A glint appeared in the man’s eyes that, frankly, Fennec didn’t like. He moved his finger across his face, extending his arm and pointing out the window. Fennec followed where he pointed, her eyes landing on the line of redshirts signing up for this year’s iteration of Dante’s Abyss.

“...absolutely not.”

***

“State your name for the cameras.”

“Fennec Shand.”

“Pretty name,” the bubbly Twi’lek in charge of registration smiled at her. Fennec’s scowl was unmoving. “Wanna tell us about yourself, Ms. Shand?”

“No,” Fennec stated flatly.

“Uh – alright, I guess,” the girl shrugged, scribbling something on her clipboard. “Well, what will you bring to the competition?”

Fennec brushed past the Twi’lek, walking toward the teleporter. Just as she was about to step on, she stopped, and turned back towards the girl.

“Enough.”
 

Izaneus Phortea

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After parting with her... uh, ragtag "Friend" Of, sorts. Shikiria left the port town, her stomach and her motivation both topped off for the time being, she clutched her travel bag tightly as she began to travel once more. Her eyes surveyed the land as she walked, and scoured. Looking for any sign of life around the Hinterlands of her home planet. Where could Iza have gone? Well... she didn't really think it would be easy. It was Izaneus after all. But still, she missed her friend already. If only she had some kind of lead... something to guide her in the right direction.. With a frown she shook her head, something like that wasn't going to be possible until she found somewhere he'd been, people he'd met or talked with. But who knows how long that would take? She really wished something could finally go her way for once... she sighed.

Miracles weren't something to rely on, she needed to lift her chin up and get moving. The faster she found Iza, the faster they could finally get away from all of this.


Shiki blinked once, then twice. Huh? What was... What?
In front of her sat tent after tent, full with queues of people lining up and being examined one after another. Yet as she looked on, the answer eluded her, how could?

No... Dante's Abyss? How could that- That was impossible! There was simply no way, it hadn't been a year already, had it? There was simply no way! This was simply nothing short of a Mira-

An involuntary "Ugh" Escaped the mouth of Shikiria as she walked up to the line. Her eyes drifting to the floor as she did so. Had she jinxed herself? Or was this simply a turn of luck? She truly hoped it wasn't the latter. As luck ran out faster than it refilled. With every good change of pace came ten bandits to fuck up your carriage. She'd seen the carnage of the abyss as she watched Izaneus fight for he and his allies lives. She could only hope and pray things wouldn't take a turn for the worse. But somehow she had a feeling... Nevertheless. Maybe there was someone in the abyss, someone who'd heard, or talked to Iza.

It was an annual competition, so surely there would be repeat contestants right? Maybe Iza himself would be there...

It wasn't long until she found herself at the front of the line, she wondered if Izaneus had this selfsame nervousness that was welling within her. Taking a deep breath, she put on a bravado of confidence.

"State your name a-" The recruiter was cut off before he could finish.

" My name is Shikiria Malorie Volencula the third, and I demand to be taken as a Dante's Abyss contestant." Shikiria spoke, her eyes full of passion and elegance. While hiding her nervous anxiety. The recruiter, caught off guard and rightfully annoyed at being interrupted, " Alright, Wanna tell me why you think you can join? What do you have for us that we don't already have?"

Shikiria then huffed a large breath of confidence. Continuing. " I was taught by Izaneus Shaltrou Phortea in the ways of the arcane,-" Leaving out that she could barely understand what he was talking about half the time. But still, she knew a little magic. " And I've since dedicated my time into honing my body and my blade into a formidable weapon capable of sundering the worst enemies!"

At this the recruiter paused. His eyes pressing Into Shikiria's soul, causing her to wonder if he could tell she was leaving out details. " Alright, I'll need a small display of what you can do, so, get to it." He stated, leaning on his elbow. Ah stage fright, Shikiria began to well magic within her blade as she pulled it from it's scabbard. Before throwing her hand over it briefly. Causing it to ignite with a deep orange blaze, which stayed briefly, before fluttering out of existence.

" If you wanna see what else I'm capable of, you'll just have to put me in, huh?" She stated, a playful smirk on her face. She could tell she'd already gotten in, as he pointed to the seats from behind his desk. She happily sauntered over and sat down, before exhaling a heavy sigh of relief.

"Iza" she thought to herself tiredly. "You'd better have something cool to show me after all of this..."
 

Dr. McNinja

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Jared sighed and stretched. The last few days of DA sign-ups were always tedious. After all, most of the interesting people had already been registered and were forming alliances indoors. If anything, Jerry had the least enviable job. He had to weed out the many of the unimpressive latecomers.
He had no sooner finished yawning than a strange masked face had appeared inches away from his face. Jared helped and jumped back, tumbling over his office chair and falling flat on his back.
“Sorry, sorry!” the newcomer said, offering a hand over the registration booth to help Jared up. “Old habits die hard, you know?”
Jared stammered as he took the man’s hand stumbling to his feet. He finally got a good look at the masked man who had so startled him. Besides the mask, the man was dressed like he was in a stock image about doctors. The white labcoat, the dress shirt and tie, even the stethoscope.
Jared stared at him fearfully. “What do you want?”

The man, despite being fully masked, broke into what was clearly a full grin.

“Here to join Dante’s Abyss! Always wanted to, but never had the time.”

Jared looked him up and down. He looked like a regular man.

“Are you sure?” Jared mumbled. “It’s a competition to the death.”

“Yes, that’s the charm, isn’t it.”

Jared sighed and pulled out a form. “I need you to sign this while I ask you some questions.”

The newcomer pulled out a pen from his coat pocket and started filling out the form. Jared squinted. This guy was gonna be in the same ring as murder Santa Claus and the psycho goo lady?

“What’s your name, what kind of abilities do you have, and what do you hope to gain from this experience?”

“Dr. McNinja, ninja, money.”

Jared raised an eyebrow at this response.

“Can you explain what these… ninja abilities are?”

“You know. Ninja stuff.” McNinja awkwardly mimed some karate chops. “I also know some close-up magic. Choose a card?”

Dr. McNinja fanned out some cards in front of Jared, positively giddy about the trick. Jared blinked.

“Sir, Dante’s Abyss is a-“

“Pick a card.”

“Sir-“

“Any card.”

“Dante’s-“

“Just pick it.”

“Dante’s Abyss-“

“Pick it, pick it, pick it.”

Jared sighed and looked down, picking one of the cards as he did.

“Sir, this is a competition where the best fighters in the Crossroads are thrown into the fight of their lives. I’m afraid you simply don’t qualify-“

When Jared had looked up again, Dr. McNinja was gone.

“Actually, I just checked your little booklet here,” a voice from behind Jared said, startling him and making him spin around, “I’m supposed to be given an opportunity to demonstrate my abilities before you reject me.”

“What are you doing back here?!”

Doc grinned. “Just checking my rights here, Jared.”

“How do you know my-“

Jared lowered his hand slightly, when he noticed that his dress shirt’s wrist collar had been stuck to the wall behind him. The object pinning his arm appeared to be a frozen shamrock.

“When did you-“

In another blink of an eye, Jared felt a sharp pain in his neck. There was a sword pressed against his neck, and Dr. McNinja’s face was inches away from Jared’s, his eyes suddenly very intense.

“I should note I’m also a doctor,” McNinja continued, “which means I can name every bone in your body while shattering them. Don’t FUCK with me.”

Jared’s horrified expression seemed to do nothing to affect Dr. McNinja, who leaned back, giggling.

“Sorry, I heard that line on Sherlock the other day, and always wanted to use it.”

Dr. McNinja reached into Jared’s shirt pocket and drew something. Jared shivered in terror as Doc made contact.

“Is this your card?” McNinja asked, his eyes filled with childlike glee.

Jared blinked. “I- I don’t know. I never looked.”

Dr. McNinja suddenly released Jared, who noticed that the projectiles pinning him to the wall had vanished. McNinja groaned loudly, rubbing his eyes.

“Ugh, I forgot to ask you to look at your card. I always forget, so stupid…”

Jared looked behind him to look for security staff. When he turned around again, Dr. McNinja was once more on the appropriate side of the registration booth, filling out his form.

“Was that enough of a demonstration?” Dr. McNinja said, setting down the clipboard. His grin was polite, but his eyes were filled with murder.

Jared swallowed and pointed to his right. Dr. McNinja clapped gleefully and started marching off. After a few seconds to recuperate, poor Jared reached for the good doctor’s newly signed form. It was covered in completely illegible chicken scratch.

“I have,” Jared said out loud, “no idea what this says.”

Ah, well. Doctors have terrible handwriting, don’t they?
 

Rogue

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Ah rushed towards the booth darn near to a full sprint. They were closing the place down, ah could see them packing up one of the booths as ah raced across the city square. They actually were able to compact those booths they had set up into a single box? Imagine that! Must be packed tighter than sardines in there! The lady in the purple was directing a goron and another fellow in a sort of mechanic’s suit. They had already packed up one of the stalls, I was nearly out of time!

“Wait! Wait ah need to sign up!” Ah shouted, skidding to a stop in front of the lady with the papers. She gave me an unimpressed look and waved me away with her free hand.

“Scram, kid! We’re closing up here!”

“No, wait! Ah want to sign up for the Abyss!”

“Then try again next year, they’re about to drop onto the island already.” The lady made a few notes on her tablet, turning away from me, “Ko-Goron, take the second sta-”

“So what you're saying’ is they ain’t on the island, yet. Which means there’s still time for me to sign up!” Ah wasn’t about to be brushed off that easily. This was too good a chance to pass up!

“No time. You’d need to sign the paperwork and audition as to why we even want you to compete.”

“Why you want- that’s easy!” Ah turned to the goron, noting the purple war paint that vaguely formed the logo of Syntech. Ah suppose that was his version of a uniform. He’d hefted the large crate with the secondary booth onto one of his broad yellow shoulders.

“Hey, Sugah! Let me carry that for a moment, eh?” Ah held out my arms for the crate, smiling nicely. The guy glanced towards his boss, then gave a sort of half shrug, handing the crate down to me. Wuph! That thing was really heavy! Ah toppled over under the weight, nearly crushing one of my arms under the thing in the process. Ah hopped up quickly, glancing towards the Syntech lady with a slightly embarrassed chuckle. She didn’t look impressed. But that was the idea.

“...is that everything, miss…?”

“Rogue. Ah'm Rogue.” Ah nodded, noticing that she had at least been interested enough to write it down, guess ah still had my looks!

“And no, that’s nah everything!” With a grin ah pulled off one of my gloves, reaching over towards the confused goron. “Sorry Sugah, this won’t be long, ah promise!” Ah cupped my bare hand under his chin, he didn’t flinch like Bennet had, just kind of slowed down, like he was a rock returning to its natural state. He toppled over backwards with a crash loud enough to make someone thing there was an avalanche nearby.

***​

I looked down at the rock skeptically, then took a bite.

“It’s not the same as the stuff back home, big brother…”

“I know, Ko-Goron. The shale of the Homerock will always be special to us both. But we’re here now, and there’s nothing to be gained by dwelling on the past. Now here, try this limestone….”


***​

I was tucked into a ball at the top of the hill, the array of logs set up at the bottom. This was it, time to show what I could do! Kicking off I started to gather speed, rolling down the hill with more speed and precision than any boulder could hope to match, and with just as much mass.

I struck the lead log dead-on, its trunk splintering into shards under my weight. Momentum carried me through two more cleanly, then put a serious dent in the next one. I unfurled myself from the cloud of dust and woodchips, flexing my arms with a triumphant shout. Three and a half logs! That was my new personal record!


***​
“-nd of course Syntech comes with all those high demand benefits that are just -so- important to the modern worker!” The small man in purple was explaining, as the SyntechSlides presentation scrolled past at faster speeds then Ko-Goron felt confident in his ability to process.

“We have health, dental, vision, dismemberment (both on and off duty for those of you with exciting hobbies!) And of course, no retirement plan to have to transfer later on! Talk about convenience!”

“And we don’t have to fight?” I asked after raising my hand for the question. The rest of the group gathered for the presentation murmured their assent to the clarification.”

“Oh, of course not! Karl is running a full-on self-made planetoid, my good rockman, he couldn’t do that if -everyone- was fighting!”

Wait… I thought this
was Karl… wasn’t that the name he’d introduced himself with? Was he talking about himself?

“Don’t you worry, darlings. Karl needs workers, not soldiers! The worst thing you can expect is to be accosted out of turn by some of our… ahem… livelier guests… which would then entitle you to a bonus for your emotional damages, as well as (if necessary) medical assistance, up to and including bodily reconstruction! Trust me, we do it all the time for the big-shots, we know what we’re doing.”


***​

Ah blinked a few times, feeling my eyelids grinding against my eyeballs at the motion. Ah don't think Gorons blinked very often. Ah looked down at my hand, noting its somewhat yellowish hue, and the small rocky croppings along the knuckles. Ah gave the somewhat surprised Syntech lady a smirk, then reached for the crate, now lifting it the same way that Ko-Goron had a moment back, balancing it on one shoulder with ease.

“Sure you don’t have room for a last-minute addition? Ah promise to make things fun!”

“Erm… You know what? I’ll see what I can do… Rouge!” The woman nodded, already reaching for a phone.

“Wonderful!” Ah grinned excitedly. Ah went to set the crate down, but the woman looked up from her hurried phonecall.

“Erm… any chance you could take that with you through the teleporter?” She glanced towards the slumped over Ko-Goron, then back to me, “I do need to close up shop still…”

“Oh! Uh, Right! Ah can do that!”
 

Nico Cinder

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After witnessing Nico blow off some steam, the Syntechie Pots waved Nico's papers and body through the checkpoint and all its various procedures, watching him walk through the teleporter with middle fingers aimed at every visible camera lens. After the punk dematerialized, Pots noticed that he had been the last in line for the time being. They retrieved a broom and dustpan from a nearby alcove and swept up the broken pieces of Nico's accursed instrument. There was a moment where the employee hesitated, unsure if the wood chips and pieces of metal qualified as "hazardous material" or not. If they did, they'd have to have their own bin, right? Or something? Pots sighed. This was simply not where they expected a degree in anthropology to take them, truly a challenge beyond their initial reckoning as a young graduate student. Deciding too much thought had already been put into this, Pots dumped the splinters and junk into the nearest public trash can, and went about the rest of their shift. Surely, nothing terrible could ever come of this decision.

When Nico appeared with all his bits and pieces on the other side, he was mighty parched. A fierce thirst. Only one thing could quench it. Luck was with him at least in this regard today, as a vending machine could be seen on the opposite end of the wall. And in that vending machine? Only one thing.

Synister™ Energy.

Nico flew. Not literally, mind you, but he might as well have been stepping on air. He slammed against the glowing vending machine and smooshed his face up against it. His fingers fumbled with the drink selection buttons, but he managed to convince the machine to hand over the goods. He even paid for it. Probably. He pressed his fingers to the tab and-

*krrshhpOP*

There you have it. The real reason Nico Cinder came to tango this year.
 

Ketkin Flynn

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Ketkin Flynn always considered himself above senseless violence but since he got to the crossroads, he has become a little more obsessed with glory and power than he’s comfortable admitting. He shifts his weight between his feet subtly, a nervous habit imperceptible to anyone not paying close attention. A line of contestants becomes one shorter and he shuffles a few steps closer toward his inevitable death.



“This is highly illogical.” Ket mutters to himself.



He spends the rest of his time in line trying to figure out why he’s here. What is worth dying for? If he, against all odds, slayed every foe standing in his way what would he gain? The answers don’t come but the feeling deep in his gut that he’s supposed to be here doesn’t go away either. Ket simply does not possess the ability to back down from a challenge, even, no especially one from within himself. He rustles his hair as he steps to the front of his line.



“State your name and what you consider to be your greatest advantage in the match” says the attendant in a strangely chipper voice



Ket doesn’t hesitate. Doesn’t let his fear show. There are cameras all over him. He’s knows he’s being sized up by any administrators or spectators with access to this feed.



“I’ve never found a situation I couldn’t adapt to. My creativity and resourcefulness will not just keep me alive, but will surely guide me to victory.”



It was a crock of shit presented as a five course meal. He hopes they ate it up.



With that a daunting stack of paperwork is slapped in front of him with a bunch of dotted lines next to groups of rights to be signed away. Once the T’s and I’s are crossed and dotted respectively he’s shuffled off to a small room with a platform and a computer console. Ketkin blinks and his body is vaporized and reconstructed in a lavish hallway called “the lobby” and his fate is sealed.
 
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