Describe your relationship with your character like you're dating.

Ridley

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Did this on OV, and it got some really interesting responses, so I figured I may as well do it here, too.
So, to try to explain this better than I did on OV:

All of us have a certain relationship with the character we're writing. a way of talking to them, of hearing them, and of working with them as they skip off and do what they'd like with their writer's assistance. A way of handling the characters we've written.
In this thread, we're going to try to break it down into something fun to read and easy to understand for fellow monkey brains, by explaining that character-writer relationship in the same fashion we'd discuss a dating relationship.
What this thread is is a way of describing your relationship with the character you write on a personal level, and maybe a way to find out more about it than you really thought.

What this thread is NOT, to avoid the confusion the OV got, is summing up a date with your character like a normal date. I'm looking to hear about your relationship you currently have with the character, not a couple sentences on how an actual date would go between the two of ya. Let's be honest, most of our characters are about as emotionally available as a sea cucumber with commitment issues anyways.

So that would of course make me the first one up:
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Ridley
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For such a simple fit, it really was quite the ride.
We first met way back when, when he hit on me when we were much, much younger. I was having some little relationships with a few cool kids, but nothing major, nothing truly deep. we were kids. Ridley had also not really matured at the time, so when he pinned me to a tree and told me, 'you should be mine', I was very flattered, but didn't take it seriously. I didn't think this was the sort of thing that could turn into a real relationship back then - assumed he was just kind of a loud jerk that happened to look cool at the time. It was a pretty big mistake, honestly.

Surprisingly though, we managed to become friends anyways, and he stayed around as I went from relationship to relationship. He never stopped hitting on me, though, even though I'd always have an excuse. "They don't allow that sort of thing where I'm staying", or "I'm already happily in a relationship."

Funnily enough, more than one person asked me why we weren't already dating a few times since we started hanging out, and I honestly never had a great answer.

It wasn't until my darkest moment that his patience paid off. I'd recently had to move overseas, and it almost killed me - Kerrigan, I think we were already working out a break for ourselves, and I'm not sure if we could have patched things up honestly, but Weiss...

Weiss I miss dearly and still tear up thinking about. She was amazing, she was my rock, but she wasn't ready to move yet and I had to, had to get out of that town. When she's ready I know damn well I'd come back to her in a heartbeat, but that separation still aches in a way that I find difficult to explain. I immediately tried to rebound with Kane, but after a decent first date he ended up ghosting me, and that immediately fell flat.

For a while I just resigned myself to being depressed and single, finding different ways to spend my time, even thought I knew that at the end of the day I wanted something new and real.

And that's when Ridley, after I'd just sent a text to Kane letting him know it was over, pinned me against the wall, got right in my face, and asked:

"You're not seeing anyone else, this place would be good for us, and you want it, so why aren't you going for it?"

And I think that's where our relationship really started. And it's going to be something long-term, I can already tell.

Ridley isn't a good man, mind you. He's aggressive, he's angry, he's impulsive, he does things because he wants to, not because they're good ideas, and he has a passionate opinion on everything. That passion is endearing and enticing though, and draws me like a moth to a flame. When Ridley cares about something, negative or positive, he really cares about that thing. This much I knew going on, though. What I didn't know was how smart he was, how shrewd he could be. Most importantly, and something I lacked from Kerrigan...

He's not made of stone. He's violent, unpredictable, cocky and self-serving, but there's other emotions there. He has people he likes. people he really likes. Things he enjoys that aren't violence and murder. He has a primal aspect to him that seems to let him justify doing as he wishes, and it leads to him being a spoiled brat, but it's rather fun spoiling him.

That's not to say it's all sunshine and roses. Of all the characters I've ever done, he's one of the few where I don't always really wanna go where he's taking me. Where the insanity and rage gets to be a little much and I question if we really have to do all of this. But he keeps motivating me to sink into that void, into that abyss, and I find myself satisfied whenever I take his hand and come along.


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Gildarts

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BEEN WANTING TO DO THIS ONE LOL.

Enchanting, Gildarts and I are family. He's protective, strong, and has magic powers that often land him in more trouble than they're worth. But in saving the world, he's saved my heart. Someone who seems so simple on the outside has a really gushy inside and we're happy to have found eachother.
 

Mewtwo

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(How did I start a post and then forgot to finish it ahhhhhh thanks for reminding me that this exists Gilfish)


Mewtwo
I mean... he's the kinda guy we all know. The one emo kid from school who never quite got out of that phase because of a crappy background, abusive parents and whatnot, but still got somewhere in life. And yeah, I'm calling him a 'he' though technically he's an 'it', but when his voice is clearly a man's I just can't think of him any other way.
Truth be told I always had kind of a crush on him, ever since... what, primary school? But you know how things go, we kinda were friends for a while then drifted apart again, I eventually joined this other club of roleplaying nerds just like myself where he was in, but he was already in a relationship with this other 'it but speaking like a he' guy, so I kept my distance. I'm not one to steal another's partner away, that's just not okay. Always kept an eye on him though. It's annoying, isn't it? How we always want that which we can't have even more BECAUSE we can't have it. Even though we also know that we won't try to get it.

Anyway, I eventually left that club for unrelated reasons, but Mewtwo followed me when I packed my stuff up and straight up told me that he knew. The time had never been right, things always got in the way, but if I wanted he would be up to try something with me. He offered me a few days to think about it, I needed only a few seconds.

Well, spending time with him is always awkward. He's kinda slowly coming out of the emo phase but sometimes I really believe him when he tells me that he feels no emotions besides anger. I've also resigned myself to that I'll never see him smile, like really smile. I can tell he's enjoying being with me nearly as much as I enjoy being with him, and we kinda just... get each other, you know? Besides, he's genuine. There's no two-facedness, no subtle lies, no omissions and no skirting around with him: he's straightforward, honest, to the point, and he expects the same of me. It makes for a surprisingly stable relationship honestly.

Totoro
You know that saying about life being a box of chocolates? Totoro's kind of like that: I met him once, kinda forgot about him, then out of the blue one day he was there and we were dating. Whenever I think I'm getting him he pulls a new surprise out of his metaphorical hat, complete with his big grin. And whenever I expect something new, he surprises me by doing something that I frankly should have expected. The thing is, like a box of chocolates he's always sweet and nice. Unlike a Bertie Botts' Beans packet there's no bad draws with him. Just being near him lifts my spirits, thinking about him makes me smile, wondering about what antics he might pull makes me laugh.

It's obviously not all sunshine and roses, especially his super-pacifistic thoughtstyle. I mean... sometimes, rarely, there's someone who's gotta get injured or who just can't be allowed to live, right? Someone who's just beyond redemption and letting them live will cause others to suffer? Nope, no reason is good enough for him to allow someone to be killed. Also, more often than not he feels like he's a big child, or an animal, so I don't always feel like we see eye to eye. I wonder what would happen if we had a fight. Or if we came to disagree on something big. Would he just pull another surprise out and make everything okay? I can only wonder. And in the meantime, I can enjoy hugging his fluffy self.
 

Arthur Morgan

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Let’s see... I’ve always admired Gabriel’s character. His faith in humanity is awe-inspiring, despite all the horrible things people do to each other. Far from being naive, Gabe just seems to recognize that people can radically change their worldview from one that is harmful to one that is good, all in a matter of minutes. I think he’d probably be envious of that ability, since his own background is one of rigidity and unblinking duty.

Gabriel also isn’t afraid to tell it like it is, to speak up and challenge others who are being needlessly selfish or difficult. Yet, blunt honesty loses its strength when the person being honest just wants to be cruel, and Gabe slips up often. I think we all do, sometimes, especially if we think someone deserves it... but using honesty as a weapon is a double-edged sword. It can come back to bite you.

This makes Gabriel tough to work with sometimes, because you never know if his fun-loving, mischievous side will appear or if he’ll start acting just plain mean. It’s been a rough summer, though, filled with highs and lows. I’d like to give him another chance.
 

Arthur Morgan

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Hey, I’m resurrecting this dead thread because it was pretty fun as a concept.

Arthur - While Arthur is definitely a rainy soul, I find a great deal of warmth and comfort in him. We met when I was unsure about my direction in life and basically growing up way too fast (new house, new job, changing relationships). He gave me stability when I very much needed it. His clear admiration of nature and his loyalty to those he cares about jive with my own ideals, making him very easy to get along with. He’s capable of being soft in certain situations that call for it and vicious in others, so although he seems coarse and rough, there’s a great deal of vibrancy and gentleness there, too.

Even though Arthur’s been through hard times, been terribly mistreated, and seen those closest to him break down in all the worst ways, he still tries to be a good person. He has a strength of character that I want to emulate; I can’t see myself willingly abandoning him. Hopelessly devoted. </3

Ty Lee - A tougher case. I like Ty Lee because she’s fun-loving, adorable, friendly, exceedingly capable and fierce. We met and it was kinda spontaneous, but really exciting at the time, even though I had to leave Liv behind because of it. Her feelings of uncertainty and worries about fading into the background because of her equally-talented siblings really resonated with me, mostly because I also worry that I could never compare to my sisters. I often feel forgotten or left out when their accomplishments come up in conversation, not to mention that I’m secretly afraid that everyone likes them more than me.

Like Ty Lee, I deliberately made myself do something crazy and different in a bid for attention/to distance myself… but while I like her and connect with her on these things, I worry that I’m projecting too much/misunderstanding her! This has already caused some trouble between us, really, and I find that she’s the most difficult to understand by far. We certainly have a lot to work on!

Gascoigne - Another rainy soul like Arthur, with a similar degree of personal tragedy. He gives off the most dadliest dad vibes? A definite family man with a heart of… silver, probably. He’s standoffish and focused on the hunt, but still human enough for me. I appreciate his protectiveness and ability to absolutely fuck shit uuuup. I think we get along pretty well, though I’m apprehensive about the more… unhinged part of his personality, and how he treats others because of it. Not sure how I’ll handle that, yet. We have a definite relationship, but I think we’ll just stay friends.

Bridget - I’m proud of her because she’s mine. Spent a lot of time working on getting her to express herself more (she started out withdrawn with very little of her personality shining through), so I’m pretty attached. She’s come a long way since we first met. I’m slightly worried about her, she can definitely be super mean and spiteful when she wants to be, but I think she’s got a good heart deep down. Not interested in fixing all her (many) flaws, but I do think she deserves happiness. Maybe we can make that happen together, who knows?
 

Lilith

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Lilith
She's coldhearted, fickle, and would stomp me without a second thought, but surprisingly Lilith and I get along really well. The journey to get where we are now was tumultuous. Back then I was young, lost, naïve, but I knew there was that perfect someone out there. I had two crushes initially, a handsome man and a motherly woman. I was drawn to the outwardly gentle, but secretly explosively passionate woman more however, and that's who I'd say was my first love. She introduced me to a great group of friends, and we hit it off immediately. We had so many adventures, and we were definitely not shy about experimenting. One thing I noticed however, was that occasionally her kind and gentle exterior slipped from time to time, revealing her deep seated resentment towards others. Still, we were going steady. Much later into our relationship I started seeing other people on the side, not taking anything too seriously at first. They all had the same pattern, though. We started off strong and gradually we became stagnant. Eventually I noticed the same pattern happening with my first love too, as we drifted apart. It didn't help that I had so many confusing and repressed emotions at the time that I wasn't able to be open about with her. We just had to keep up that facade that everything was just fine. But then I stumbled into Lilith by pure chance. She was only interested in a one night stand, as that was her routine. Find someone fun, use 'em for all their worth, and discard them when they no longer provide any entertainment. We both saw something in each other different from the rest, which might be why I didn't suffer the same fate as all her past flings. We both kept things casual at first, go figure, we were both afraid of commitments! But eventually as we learned more about each other, our relationship went past surface level. Then came time to make things official. If I was going to be committed, I had to give her my full attention, placing all my loyalty solely in her. It was scary to be with someone so demanding, but I'd be lying if I said giving up control wasn't exciting. What I liked most about her was how unrestrained she was. She never held back what she wanted to say, and did as she pleased saying "fuck you!" to the consequences. It allowed me to share all those nasty emotions welling up inside me, and I'm sure I got to see sides of her that nobody had seen before. Well, and lived. Fundamentally, Lilith is broken, but she somehow manages to thrive on how messed up she is. I'm certainly far from completely broken, but I've gotten close to that point a few times. Being with Lilith is a wild and unstable experience, yet when I'm close to falling off that edge, she always holds me back. "It's not fun if you have nothing to lose." Like my first love, she introduced me to another group of friends (hi!) that were way more supportive and understanding, and that's when we really blossomed together. I used to be so hesitant to talk to her or do anything with her, and not just because she could choke me to death. But we quickly found a comfortable spot, and there's still so much more for us to explore. Lilith and I have a lot in common, but there's also a great deal that separates us. One thing I've grown to appreciate is just how different we are. For a long time she's struggled to find someone who'd accept her fully and unconditionally, and for a long time I also struggled with that. I wish I could just ignore what other people think of me like she does. She leads by her raw emotions and primal passions, and I want to have that same energy in myself, at least partially. She constantly walks the line between what's too far and what's distasteful (in her mind anyways), and I'm right there with her, holding on like my life depends on it.
 

Anders Nazret

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Heralds of the True Heir
Strazio - Dude needs to chill out. To be fair, when we met I was a lot like him. We were both angry about our past and that kinda anger is real intoxicating y'know? He's always been more self-destructive and aggressive than I've ever been, but I've always admired his stubborn conviction and loyalty. Problem is, I grew up and he mostly stayed the same. It's an exciting way to live, but definitely not a good life.

Pecan - This guy is fun. So impulsive and exciting, more than once we've basically picked up everything we own and moved halfway across the planet. Yeah we've gotten in some pretty hot water, but there's a kind of good luck that seems to bail us out whenever things get too hot. Sometimes I question his loyalty, I mean the dude has burned so many bridges in his life that I worry I might be the next bridge. Still, I'm having fun, so Imma hold on till the worst.

Anders - Talk about a workaholic. Still, he's reliable and smart as all hell. I don't have to worry about our future with him, if he says he's going to do something I believe him. Just wish he'd spend more time with me rather than at the grindstone.

Amalia - It took a while for for her to come out of her shell, but we get along very well. She's so kind and considerate, almost to a fault if I'm being honest. Not a big fan of her friend, Erin, but they're basically inseparable. She struggles with mental health and it can be pretty draining sometimes. Still, she's got such a beautiful heart and can still keep smiling despite her past.
 

Masahir N'air

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The Thieves Guild |&| Babylonia
lmao here's my characters and my major NPCs

Masahir N'air - Baby girl, sweet, soft lady. We originally met years ago- she was going on a blind date and got stood up by some rude flake and I found her crying at the bus stop. We were both at pretty damn low point in our lives in terms of mental health and having things figured out, and it started just with little talks- letting each other cry on the other's shoulder when things got too much. We were friends for a long time before this one time at a holiday party, and she pulled me in for a drunk kiss and told me that really wanted to be more. She's got a massive heart, and she's full to the brim with love, she just doesn't know how to express it in ways that are always healthy. She's got so much to work on, it's a little absurd, but that's what happens when you grow up on the streets and get adopted by an equally emotionally-stunted cutthroat assassin. Like me, she has lived a disadvantaged life and she has faced a lot of suffering and abuse similar to my own. Her struggles with being abandoned over her worth (and how she ties her personal worth to her physical appearance) breaks my heart, because she is a beautiful, talented woman who can only see her own invisible scars.

Masa is warm, full of burning hot fire and raw emotions. She feels first, thinks later- and sometimes? Honestly that's frightening to me. She's confrontational when pushed, and especially when emotional. I won't lie, there are times were I'm not sure if I can understand her depths, or her emotional reasoning and it makes me worry that we might not be as compatible as I'd hoped. I've spent a lot of time learning and researching about people and just how exactly emotional logic & expression work in order to bridge the gap, I so desperately want this to work out.

She makes me so happy all of the time. I just wish that she could see herself how I do: a strong, beautiful and gifted woman who keeps trying even when everything feels helpless; a woman of endless, hopeful faith who inspires the people around her, even when she's all broken up and bleeding on the inside. Breathtaking, inside and out. I just don't know if I'll be able to help her heart mend from the abuse her ex put her through... but I am happy to be on this journey of self-healing with her, regardless of how much she stumbles, or makes dumb, indulgent and self-destructive choices. We're a lot alike in that way, at least.

Ra'tima-dro - Aw, cat momma. She might seem like she's nothing but tough love, but she's got soft spots under all that armor, if you manage to get past all of the fortifications she's put up to keep people away. It was hard to earn her trust, and she was very slow to warm up. Incredibly slow. A lot of times she would push me away because she was too busy doing her own thing, but we can appreciate each other's ability to listen well and learn quickly. When she warms up and gives you more trust, she shows her true colors. Ra may be of an unsavory, darker sort of company, but she is not typically cruel or outright evil; that much is apparent from her unfaltering loyalty and a very, very strict adherence to a set of (limited) morals.

I respect her a lot, she's an endlessly persistent survivor, grounded firmly in reality and she has shouldered so much misfortune: slavery to incredible personal loss. The way she faces a judgmental and hostile world, a world that looks down on her for her appearance and race, and says "this one is going to make it, despite you" is so inspirational. She's also got a pretty morbid sense of dry and dark humor that I find really amusing. I find her ability to just keep on getting up when she's knocked down or back amazing, she always rolls with the punches; perfectly stoic and aware about what she can or can't change, and what's worth her efforts. Ra is shrewd with her time and patience, and just seems to know what's a fair deal.

Also, she managed to track down this really obscure item on my wishlist? I was surprised she was so quick to pick up on navigating the greater internet, seeing as she playfully complains about being an "old woman" and "kids these days". I have no clue what she pulled to get her paws on that particular gift, but I imagine it wasn't exactly easy or quick. She played it off like it was no big deal and just wanted to know if I liked it or not (I did!).

Ezrihel von Althaus - Ugh... It's really intense to be with Ezrihel. He's playful and controlled, until you hit the wrong button and he throws a fit. He's normally pretty damn direct and blunt about emotional manners as well. Ez can be... rigid and inflexible when it comes to empathizing with my point of view, even though we generally get along. He's stubborn as fuck, and... If I'm being honest, he handles his own emotions like a big baby, which is why he tries so hard to keep his composure. He almost seems embarrassed by his own internal reactions, and he seems pretty aware of just how petty and toxic he can be. Can you believe that he once complained to me about the expectation of emotional maturity and civility? Exhausting. His ability to hold a grudge is rivalled only by Ra'tima, and he certainly won't allow you to forget how wronged he is as a victim.

He's got an ego as big as a galaxy, so of course he's narcissistic and thinks the world revolves around him pretty damn often. His ability to condescend when he's displeased is phenomenal, truly. When he's happy with you, he can lift you up high with praise, but as soon as you displease him you easily earn the equally stinging bite of his bluntness. He also really just doesn't like not being in control, and while that helps him to be exceedingly confident in himself, it's beyond tedious to always have your opinion on something challenged, or your preferences critiqued when they don't align with his.

But I'm painting him only in a bad light, because we've been together for so long and I remember all the stuff he has struggled to overcome. Ezrihel is honestly far more nuanced than just a bratty noble. He's a man who has suffered immensely for standing up for his morals. He is proud, but he seldom allows his pride to sway his morality too 'off-track'. I also believe him to be a pretty devoted father, given the circumstances of his life thus far. It's not easy to raise a child as a state-labeled traitor in a losing war, on a military ship, after losing your spouse. It's not exactly easy to be a first-time dad when your own father was absent or- when he actually was present- overtly critical of every little mistake while never giving praise. The amount of tenderness and fierce love he feels toward his child shows me that he is more than capable of feeling empathy for others, that he is more than just a vain, self-centered man. The fact that I've seen him instantly lower himself if it meant protecting Ellie, even when it humbled him, even when it put himself in mortal peril, even when it meant enormous self-sacrifice. I know he would set aside his pride, his comfort, even his own life, if it ensured her safety. That's far more than my own mother ever did for me growing up.

But at night, he lays back and worries if he's actually the evil one, and those worries eat away at his resolve until he's curled up into a ball praying for sleep to take him away from his bastard brain. He's not evil, he's just a pompous ass, made uncomfortable when he's alone and left to dwell with his thoughts, uncomfortable with introspection- or perhaps about admitting that he was wrong. A man who is scared to think that maybe all of his choices were wrong, that... maybe it wasn't all worth it after all.

Raphael Isra - Oh my god, he's an asshole and I love him. A competent asshole, but boy oh boy he really doesn't 'get' people. Well... He does 'get' them, he's just very stubborn about playing along with societal expectations, pressures, and games. He's just like me, no patience for pointless fluff or politeness. He just doesn't really see the point. That... and he's pretty damn oblivious about subtle flirting, but not because he doesn't notice- he just doubts himself too much and overthinks every little thing like an obsessive. He's a melancholic, depressive genius of medicine who's in love with death. Staring into his sharp blue eyes is like peering down into a still, deep lake.

There is a sadness that clings to him, a fog that haunts every action and tinges his rare smile- and in a way, that's beautiful. Have you ever seen a man look so gorgeous when he cried? I feel like he's a somber painting of a rainy man trapped in repose. We're so alike, I can't help but love him, but also feel so frustrated towards him when he drags his feet about his emotions, because I know firsthand how hard learning to be vulnerable is. Raph has cried into my shoulder while I cradled him in my arms, and I know exactly what that gesture, that level of trust, means to him. I am someone who holds his heart in my hands, and he has trusted me to not damage the fragile, weepy ol' thing. I am so sorry I hurt you, and I hope you'll learn to forgive me, darling Isra.

Ruedlen von Saerhaus - Rue loves debating almost everything, endlessly, just like her brother Tzalel. She's a spittin' firebrand, goth girlfriend who likes being domineering. I suppose it comes with living as a death priestess for a deity of fate? Maybe it's because she's also a spoilt noble brat who enjoys taking the chance to flex her privilege and challenge the other aristocracy, almost like she's daring them to try doing something to her. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was because the idea of punishment-that-actually-mattered excited her. Sometimes she's got me rolling my eyes, and other times she catches so much of my attention with her deep knowledge of all sorts of occult mythos. Rue really likes to tease me with borderline irresistible 'forbidden' (or perhaps, just existentially uncomfortable and horrific) knowledge about death and fate itself. Sometimes I think she leaves her tomes of prophecy out just to see who's tempted by the promise of information, and who haunts themselves with the unshakable weight of the answers they'd find within. I'm not entirely sure what she's playing at when she does this, but I certainly don't think I approve of her methods.

Aurora Meng - Man, I met Aurora years ago, but she only recently came back into my life. I was too busy with everything else going on to be able to really give her the attention she was craving, but I'm glad she's willing to try this friend thing out... She even got me a cutesy little box of chocolates when we met up again, gosh. She's a sweetheart, but she leads with nothing but her heart, and sometimes that's just impractical. Meng also sometimes has trouble keeping her mind focused, but that's alright. I enjoy talking to her about the different books we've been reading, she's always got something new to recommend to me.

Revenant - We absolutely do not date. This murderhobo is actual nightmare fuel to be around. Did you know that he just occasionally lets himself into my house in the middle of the night to scare the shit out of me for his own amusement? Not cool dude... but at least he leaves me alive, I guess?
 
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