Destination #91 - Sweetzerland


Saiyan Elite
Level 1
Aug 1, 2018
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The blue-white haze left her eyes as Ellie took in her new surroundings, sipping from her styrofoam coffee cup. This was always the best part of planet hopping, the very first moment of discovery, where everything was brand new. The people, the environment, the cultures – while there were many similarities between human worlds, even despite dimensional or spatial distances, no two were ever exactly the same. Plus, there were always worlds that were inhabited by some other lifeform that didn’t follow any rules like a human civilisation would.

Then there were worlds that were so amazing, she couldn’t believe they were real.

Ellie stood dumbfounded, sweet scents wafting from all directions. Trees rose up all around her, their leaves a mass of bright pink clumps. Squinting, Ellie couldn’t make out individual leaves at all. She sniffed and could only smell processed sugar or artificially sweet flavours, as if she stumbled into the world’s largest open-air candy shop. A wind blew through the trees and set the blobs of leaves to jiggle.

Ellie Skipped onto a tree branch and inspected its leaves. Indeed, there was not a single leaf hanging from the pale white branches; they were simply bunches of wispy pink material. She sniffed them and instantly thought of a carnival.

It couldn’t be?

Grabbing a handful, Ellie tore some of the strange vegetation free in a ball. It stuck to her hand. Excitedly, she ran her tongue over it. Her eyes widened. It was like fairy floss! It grew on trees in this world?

In her delight, Ellie dropped her coffee cup and consumed the free treat. She placed a hand on the bark that she sat on, licking the sugar from her lips, noticing its texture was unlike wood. She scratched at its surface, forming a small burrow, freeing thin flakes from it. It was coarse to the touch, but again familiar. It clicked. The tree was made of solid, thickened wafer!

Skipping back to the ground, Ellie stared up at the tree in wonderment. She had found some sort of land made of confectionary! Never had she encountered such a place in her years of interdimensional travel.

What else was there?

Moving at an excited jog, Ellie passed through the forest of fairy floss trees and into a plain with willowy red trees dotted about the empty space. They swayed in the breeze, but even from her distance, Ellie could tell they didn’t have true leaves on their branches either. Approaching the tree, she yanked off one of the long crimson leaves and took a bite. It was raspberry licorice!

Ellie stuffed the candy into her mouth and tapped the cyan orb on the back of her gauntlet. A holographic screen projected above, dim and translucent at first. A moment later it became completely opaque. She pressed the star in the top left of her screen and it resisted her touch, as if the screen were physical – that’s because it was; her unique invention of dense light allowed her to form solid objects out of light – and her Favourites list filled the screen. She saved this world’s co-ordinates in the list. She was definitely coming back here!

Something moved further down the field beneath another of the raspberry licorice trees. Two shadowy figures were jostling in the shade, as if one was attacking the other. Elle swallowed her licorice and stalked closer, Skipping in small sections to avoid being seen and to cover the ground faster.

She teleported to the other side of the round tree and primed a Tempus Blast, the blue circle in her gauntlet’s palm shining with blue-white light. Steeling herself, Ellie jumped around the corner and aimed her gauntlet.

“Hands o-!”

She lowered her hand as she watched a human sized gingerbread man running his round, fingerless hands down the length of a human sized chocolate bar. The energy in her palm dissipated as the two humanoid sweets turned in horror at Ellie’s intrusion, their icing lips moulding into startled surprise, their gumdrop eyes widening.

“Hey!” the gingerbread man shouted, his sculpted chocolate ganache moustache rising to reveal marshmallow teeth. “What are you, a pervert?!”

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” Ellie said, covering her eyes, though she peeked through them for a moment. She’d never seen living desserts before. She had to know what they looked like. Unfortunately, they just looked like oversized treats – no human anatomy there. Nothing weird, either. So... how did sex work with them, exactly?

“I can see you peeking!” the chocolate bar shrieked. “Come on, let’s get out of here!”

The chocolate bar walked off in a huff with the gingerbread man in hot pursuit. He turned around and motioned what Ellie assumed was the middle finger but without digits, it lost a lot of its impact.

“I had no idea!” Ellie called after them. “I thought he was mugging you!”

“Hmph! Humans!” Another indignant cry came out. “You’ll be hearing from the guards!” They continued away, having lost their private sanctuary, their moment of intimacy well and truly over.

Despite the situation, Ellie laughed. What the hell was that?! How was she supposed to be prepared for two sugary snacks going to town on each other? She snatched another raspberry licorice strand from the tree and pulled it in her teeth until half of it snapped off, dangling from her lips as she chewed. Everything in this place must be some sort of sweet or dessert, even the living creatures here. Remarkable.

Ellie snagged a few more licorice ‘leaves’ from the tree and sauntered through the plain as the warm sun shone on her skin. A group of chocolate marshmallow bunnies hopped past her, leaping into their burrow and out of sight. Beyond the trees, a rounded, hulking figure stomped, gelatinous and red in colour. Was that a life-size gummy bear? Was that something she should try eating or avoid altogether unless she would be eaten?

“Hey! Hey you, human!”

Ellie looked to two oblong yellow objects approaching her, their short legs waddling. They both wielded a long bronze staff with a diamond-shaped gem at its apex shaped into a point, which was possibly some sort of ceremonial spear. As they grew closer, Ellie could make out what they were –they were bananas, or at least a half of one, with what appeared to be chocolate on their heads, as if they’d been dipped in it. Their faces almost looked drawn on, with simple dots for eyes and lines for mouths. They still had the peel on – did that act like clothes, or was it more like skin? Ellie had so many questions.

“The name’s Ellie,” she said as the bananas reached her.

“Yeah, OK Ellie the human,” one said. “We had a report of you looking at candy people making kissy faces when they didn’t want people looking at them.”

Ellie repressed a smirk. Were these ingredients of a banana split the guards? Did that huffy chocolate bar actually report her like she threatened? This was too much. She laughed. Uproariously.

“Hey! What’s so funny?” the other banana guard said, frowning. “We’re checking if you’re in trouble or not! You shouldn’t laugh at that!”

“Yeah!” the other guard said, scratching his head. “That’s rude! We’re just trying to do our jobs!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Ellie managed to get out through wide, smiling lips, wiping tears from her eyes. “This is all just... more amazing than my wildest dreams.”

“Wow,” one banana guard said, leaning in. “Was the kissing that good?”

Ellie laughed through her closed mouth. Not the smartest bananas in the bunch, but they must have wielded some sort of authority. Maybe she should respect them. She tried calming herself down by taking deep breaths and closing her eyes, trying to focus on the act of breathing rather than the hilarious and utterly ridiculous situation she found herself in.

“Hey!” the other banana guard said, poking his companion with the blunt end of his staff. “It doesn’t matter how good it was, it was still a bad thing to do! You, the human! We have to take you to see Princess Bubblegum!”

“Ooo!” the one banana guard said. “You are in a lot of trouble now, human!”

“Wow!” Ellie said, genuinely surprised. “You have a princess? And she’s made of bubblegum?”

“Yeah! She’s really smart too! She’ll know what to do with you!”

Usually when Ellie got herself involved with the law enforcement of a planet, she wouldn’t hang around for long. Being able to teleport made it hard for most civilisations to stop her from leaving if she wanted to. There was a chance this Princess Bubblegum was some sort of tyrant, ready to execute non-candy creatures for befouling her lands with blood and flesh, but based on how intelligent these banana guards were, Ellie didn’t think that was the most likely scenario.

In fact, this sounded like fun.

Ellie mock sighed. “OK officers. I guess I did something bad. I will accept my punishment.”

“Wow!” one of the guards said. “This one is a lot easier than most bad guys! Come with us.”

Ellie followed behind them with a wide grin on her face.