Mazarine Character Application

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Mazarine

User name: Mazarine​

Have you read the rules? Yes​

Character Name: Fabienne Soeft​

Character Source: OC​

Starting Location: Cevanti​

Physical Tendencies:
Power(P): 20%​
Toughness(T): 10%​
Quickness(Q): 40%​
Skill(S): 30%​

Personality Tendencies:
Aggression(A): 10%​
Cunning(C): 25%​
Diplomacy(D): 35%​
Support(S): 30%​

Physical Description:

ecf28c71cd0665528bd3bdd9631ef0c1.jpg

Fabienne has a natural deep purple skin tone but other than that she resembles an average human being. Her head is shaved into a buzz cut; she use to have long, dark locks that reached to her waist when she was younger. Her irises are a dark grey, almost too dark to tell whether they're black or actually grey. She's thin and small in build but she's stands at 5'9", which might be tall to some. She weighs a meet 115 lbs. and looks it. Her voice is light and feminine, so one could immediately tell she was a female by how she sounds.​

When using her White Flame abilities Fabienne's eyes, mouth, hands, and head ignite into her signature blazing flames. These are the areas which usually ignite first.​

In her normal, relaxed state Fabienne's body is not covered in flame at all.​

Fabienne can often be mistaken as a male, and not just for her short hair. Her face is slightly masculine so from afar the confusion is expected. She tends to wear the dark clothing she's accustomed to, consisting of a long black robes, black leggings, black traveling boots, and a long, old sword on her back.​

8847a94393bbfef458b5f7c901e41ff0.jpg

The only weapon she carries is rusty grey dagger.​

Character History:

Fabienne comes from a dying planet known as Nolth. It's home to the most unruly and deceitful people known as the Nolthic. She was not born but raised there, switched at birth because of her uncanny abilities and sent to be studied and used as a weapon. She escaped to freedom nine years afterwards but was forced to live unseen in a bitter city inhabited by criminals and other spiteful beings who had ill-intentions.​

She found sanctuary within a group of peacemakers who wanted to turn things around. She tried to aide where she could but her powers were to dangerous and risky for her to handle and soon she was cast away. Fabienne knows of no family or friends and kept to herself as she survived.​

One day she was strangely teleported to a strange world named Cevanti and that's where her real story begins.​

Abilities/Skills:

Name: White Flame​
Effect:​
- Flight | Rank 3 (600)​
- Damage | Rank 4 (400)​
- Agility | Rank 3 (600)​

Modifiers:​
- (Flight) Modifier | Limited (-150)​
- (Damage) Modifier | Chaotic (-200)​
- (Agility) Modifier | Concentration (-150)​

Total Cost: 1100​
Description:
White Flame is the ability to ignite parts or the whole of one's self into burning white fire. While these flames are completely harmless to the caster, everyone else is harmed if they come in contact with the fire.​

How much Essence did you spend? 1100​

How much Essence do you have left? 900​

Were you referred by an existing member? No​
 
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Ahana Varma

General of Neo New Babylon
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The only weapon she carries is rusty grey dagger.

If you would like her to have a dagger then please buy an Ability to represent it. Otherwise, please remove this line.

Name: White Flame
Effect:
  • Flight | Rank 3 (600)
  • Damage | Rank 4 (400)
  • Agility | Rank 3 (600)

Modifiers:
  • (Flight) Modifier | Limited (-150)
  • (Damage) Modifier | Chaotic (-200)
  • (Agility) Modifier | Concentration (-150)

Total Cost: 1100
Description:
White Flame
is the ability to ignite parts or the whole of one's self into burning white fire. While these flames are completely harmless to the caster, everyone else is harmed if they come in contact with the fire.

Please explain in your description how your Ability functions.
You have said that her Agility requires Concentration to maintain and that her Flight is Limited, but haven't mentioned her even having these Effects in the description, much less explained in what way the Flight is Limited. Also, remember that without adding the Ongoing Modifier, she cannot set herself on fire or fly for longer than a few seconds at a time. Agility, however, has Ongoing by default, so you can make it so that as long as she concentrates she will be able to maintain her heightened reaction speed, if you'd like.
However, remember that all Effects within an Ability must trigger simultaneously, so she can only activate Agility by starting her fire as well, even if it can last after the flames have ended; they must initially be used together. If you would like Agility to be usable separately then you will need to split it off into a separate Ability.


Also, this is not mandatory, but I recommend writing Abilities in the following format to save space:
Name [W]
Effect X (Y)
--Modifier (Z)

Description.

Key
W = Total Cost
X = Effect Rank
Y = X * Effect Cost per Rank
Z = X * Modifier Cost per Rank


As you can see, this would be much more compact than what you've written above.
I suspect that you may have some changes to make to your Ability's Modifiers before it functions the way you want it to, but assuming that is not the case, this is how I would write it (note that I've had to arbitrarily select a limit for her Flight, as one is required in order to take the Limited Modifier):
White Flame [1100]​
Flight 3 (600)​
--Limited (Only When Dry) (-150)
Damage 4 (400)​
--Chaotic (-200)
Agility 3 (600)​
--Concentration (-150)

White Flame is the ability to ignite parts or the whole of one's self into burning white fire for a few seconds. While these flames are completely harmless to the caster, everyone else is harmed if they come in contact with the fire. The flames also allow the caster to fly while burning, but only when they are dry, as water weakens the fire magic, causing the spell to lose this bonus effect. Furthermore, whenever one casts White Flame, they become much more agile for as long as they are able to keep their concentration; this effect can persist even after the flames are long gone.


• If you want the Ability to function exactly as I've written it, you can consider that approved.
• If you feel like you know what you're doing now, you can make whatever changes are needed to get what you're looking for, and I'll take another look at the Ability once you're done.
• If you have no idea what you'll need to take, then please describe exactly how you would like the Ability to function and I will tell you what Effects & Modifiers you'll need.
 
M

Mazarine

User name: Mazarine​

Have you read the rules? Yes​

Character Name: Fabienne Soeft​

Character Source: OC​

Starting Location: Cevanti​

Physical Tendencies:
Power(P): 20%​
Toughness(T): 10%​
Quickness(Q): 40%​
Skill(S): 30%​

Personality Tendencies:
Aggression(A): 10%​
Cunning(C): 25%​
Diplomacy(D): 35%​
Support(S): 30%​

Physical Description:

ecf28c71cd0665528bd3bdd9631ef0c1.jpg

Fabienne has a natural deep purple skin tone but other than that she resembles an average human being. Her head is shaved into a buzz cut; she use to have long, dark locks that reached to her waist when she was younger. Her irises are a dark grey, almost too dark to tell whether they're black or actually grey. She's thin and small in build but she's stands at 5'9", which might be tall to some. She weighs a meet 115 lbs. and looks it. Her voice is light and feminine, so one could immediately tell she was a female by how she sounds.​

When using her White Flame abilities Fabienne's eyes, mouth, hands, and head ignite into her signature blazing flames. These are the areas which usually ignite first.​

In her normal, relaxed state Fabienne's body is not covered in flame at all.​

Fabienne can often be mistaken as a male, and not just for her short hair. Her face is slightly masculine so from afar the confusion is expected. She tends to wear the dark clothing she's accustomed to, consisting of a long black robes, black leggings, black traveling boots, and a long, old sword on her back.​

8847a94393bbfef458b5f7c901e41ff0.jpg


Character History:

Fabienne comes from a dying planet known as Nolth. It's home to the most unruly and deceitful people known as the Nolthic. She was not born but raised there, switched at birth because of her uncanny abilities and sent to be studied and used as a weapon. She escaped to freedom nine years afterwards but was forced to live unseen in a bitter city inhabited by criminals and other spiteful beings who had ill-intentions.​

She found sanctuary within a group of peacemakers who wanted to turn things around. She tried to aide where she could but her powers were to dangerous and risky for her to handle and soon she was cast away. Fabienne knows of no family or friends and kept to herself as she survived.​

One day she was strangely teleported to a strange world named Cevanti and that's where her real story begins.​

White Flame [1100]
Flight 3 (600)
--Limited (Only When Dry) (-150)
Damage 4 (400)
--Chaotic (-200)
Agility 3 (600)
--Concentration (-150)

White Flame is the ability to ignite parts or the whole of one's self into burning white fire for a few seconds. While these flames are completely harmless to the caster, everyone else is harmed if they come in contact with the fire. The flames also allow the caster to fly while burning, but only when they are dry, as water weakens the fire magic, causing the spell to lose this bonus effect. Furthermore, whenever one casts White Flame, they become much more agile for as long as they are able to keep their concentration; this effect can persist even after the flames are long gone.

How much Essence did you spend? 1100​

How much Essence do you have left? 900​

Were you referred by an existing member? No​
 
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