Monstrous Judge Needed

[The Living]

Alright so Godzilla found a really big swamp jello in the ocean on a boat so we need someone to decide whether or not the godzilla eats the jello or the jello eats godzilla.

Feel like judging a Monster fight?

Word limit is going to be 1000/post with three posts each, 48 hours to write your post after the other person writes their post.

Thread Link

May the most hideous monster win...

 

[Arthur Morgan]

I’d be willing to judge. What quality of feedback do y’all want?

 

[The Living]

Just an overall analysis is fine, maybe a bit of nudge on where we should direct our writing more unless Failmanz has something else to add.

Also adding in that we are reducing the time to 10 hours.

 

[V]

That'd be fine with me, yeah. Hit us with whatever ya got, jaed.



Also.

Also adding in that we are reducing the time to 10 hours.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

I’ll have this judged onnnn Saturday, if not earlier.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

Alrighty slimes and monsters, it’s time for a…

FIGHT JUDGEMENT​

Feedback for The Living:

• I love this weird little murder-flubber. The way you write the creature’s thought process is really interesting, more a string of predatory impulses than actual strategic thinking slowly evolving into more coherent thought. Very well done.
• The Living’s realization of itself and it’s enjoyment of being in a new environment was a treat to read. It was kinda funny to imagine this little slime fighting this big ass kaiju, I honestly wasn’t sure where you were going to go with this fight but I’m glad you decided to really delve into how horrifying your character is as a concept.
• I would have liked to see more introspective writing about how The Living considers Godzilla in your first post, but usually there were only little hints mixed in with the action. I think you could have spent more time elaborating on that; sure, it regards Godzilla as a meal, but what kind? What frame of reference does the Living have for this type of encounter? What is going through its rudimentary slime brain?
• I liked your descriptions of the Living’s effect on its environment, the coral part was especially magical.
• It was super creepy to read the Living’s thought process when trying to regain energy/absorb organic matter to continue the fight against Godzilla. Really emphasized to me that these are two wildly different forces of “nature” interacting.
• I enjoyed how the Living’s tactics changed over time, becoming more strategic as it considered its options and really fought for its meal.
• Godzilla elbow dropping on the ship in your post frickin’ had me rolling. Goddamn it.
• Your posts after your first were where you really gained momentum for the fight, I can tell you put a lot of effort in. I liked your little turns of phrases and clever terms to describe the Living, that kept your posts very fresh and interesting.
• Your descriptions of The Living rallying itself in your last post were really good. The switch to first person though, that was a little odd? I liked it, but I felt like your writing changed a lot from that point on, becoming less cinematic and more of a journal entry. It was still okay and your imagery was still pretty decent, but I think your first person writing needed to be more descriptive to really blow the post out of the water.
• Overall, I think you’ve really fleshed out your character through this fight and created something truly special. On that note, though… I think you should find one perspective when writing and stick with it. I appreciated some of the impact the switch to first person had, but overall felt like it took something away from the post. Maybe experiment with this some more?

Feedback for Godzilla:

• What an excellent start to Godzilla’s career in the Crossroads: fighting some unholy goo abomination. Jesus Christ.
• Always love your way with imagery, Afam. As an avid writer of Godzilla fic a while back, these posts have really reinvigorated my passion for that big ol’ lizard.
• Your opening description of Godzilla cutting through the water was goshdang superb. Excellent, vivid, and to the point. A++
• I really enjoyed reading your descriptions of Godzilla’s thought process throughout. Reacting to the Living’s…. Livingness with such a clear sense of offense seemed very on brand. Instinct-driven and beastly, but with that glimmer of brutish intelligence that really sets Godzilla apart from the rabble.
• I appreciate that you had Godzilla feel fear from the Living’s existence, because honestly who wouldn’t be freaking the hell out at some unstoppable noxious flubber speeding at you through the water? An idiot, that’s who. It’s often a strong temptation for people to have their characters always be at their best, always be confident, but it’s far more interesting to see actual negative emotions and doubt. You write those freakin’ well, great job!
• You also managed to elevate the terrifying horribleness of the Living’s particular ability set. Poor Godzilla!
• I love how you kept the old Godzilla tradition of “smash it until it dies or goes away.”
• I also loved that you took the fight beneath the waves a bit. Heckin’ sweet.
• Godzilla getting a second wind for this fight after having a flashback to your Unmaking quest was a superb tie-in. Good job!
• Overall, really enjoyed your posts. I only noticed a few typos, some run-on sentences, but other than that your writing was consistently strong.

And the winner is….

GODZILLA!

 

[The Living]

Lots of love and thanks for grading our fight! The whole first person thing was 100% experimental, and I did notice my sudden change in writing. The Living is a changing being right now so I want to have it grow permanently as a sentient being, but I think third person is where I'm most comfortable, my personal voice doesnt mesh well I think with the Living as first person. Again, much appreciated!