V S [NPC] Flowers for the Dead

[Dr. McNinja]

This thread contains spoilers for Blood and Water.

TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE NAUSICAA INCIDENT

Peter Pellbrook stared in horror at the body in front of him. This man should not be alive, let alone awake. Yet there he was, squirming in pain and screaming.

Dr. McNinja snapped his fingers, waking Peter from his horrified trance.

“I said, I need you to not zone out on me, Peter! Keep him stabilized until I get back!” Doc shouted.

Peter nodded, still waking from his daze. Doc almost instantly vanished, as he does. Meanwhile, Peter Pellbrook raised his quivering arms and began his work.

The Pellbrooks were always proficient in water magic, but the Pellbrook men were limited in what type of water magic they could use. Peter had become quite an impressive healer through his bloodline magic, but his healing was best suited for superficial wounds. He couldn’t fix severe injuries or serious diseases. Regardless, due to his special abilities which could comfort the patient’s pain and buy time for the doctor, Peter was quite the excellent nurse.

Usually.

“…please try to relax, sir,” Peter mumbled, his fingers twitching involuntarily, “This… may sting a bit, but it’s going to feel better soon.”

Peter focused his energy, and moisture gathered on his fingertips. He found it difficult resting his eyes on any single place, because in the corner of his eye, he could see the patient squirming and leaving bits of char on the stretcher. Bits of flesh were clinging to the fabric below, and Peter couldn’t help but gag at the smell of cooked meat.

With no small amount of struggle, Peter pushed down his urge to regurgitate his breakfast. His eyes stung with either tears or the ash from the body below him, but he did his best to stay focused.

“Please don’t die,” Peter muttered, not loud enough for his patient to actually hear.

***

The patient survived. Dr. McNinja returned, as he always does, with a series of gadgets and doodads that probably shouldn’t be kept in a medical clinic, let alone used for treatment. But after a few old bicycle pumps and a frankly egregious amount of tomato sauce were arranged in a cryptic circle, the patient was placed in a full-body isolation tank full of greenish liquid.

Peter was told that, every time blood started leaking out of the tank’s lid, he was to telekinetically smear it with tomato sauce and then dry it with the bicycle pumps. Peter had to remind Doc that he could actually dry things magically, and away went the bicycle pumps.

And, as these wild treatments always go, the patient came out looking more or less unscathed. Heavily traumatized, of course, but fixed. Doc nodded in approval as he examined the mended skin.

“I won’t pretend to understand what you did to me,” the patient said as Dr. McNinja looked him over, “But thank you.”

“Of course. I’ve seen these kinds of burns before,” Doc replied, “You’re lucky you came to me. Most doctors won’t try this kind of treatment, because of how… unscientific it seems.”

The man nodded. Peter cleared his throat.

“Sorry, sir, but we never actually got your name.”

The patient raised his brow. Now that he wasn’t covered in burns, Peter noticed that the man was quite large and… terrifying. Even in his state of post-shock exhaustion, Peter noted that his muscles were rippling with threatening intentions. His face looked like it had been chiseled with nothing but a sledgehammer, almost as if striking it would cut your palm on one of its jagged edges.

“Why do you need my name?” the patient asked. His bass voice scraped against Peter’s ears.

“Um, f-for billing purposes.”

Dr. McNinja raised a brow. “We don’t necessarily need to discuss billing now, but is there a reason you’re reluctant to give us your name?”

The man looked at the doctor with his hostile glare. Doc stared back, unfazed.

“Just call me John,” the man said.

“As in John Doe?” Doc replied, unamused.

“If you like,” the patient said.

Dr. McNinja watched as the patient stood up.

“Mind if I ask how you got burned?” the physician asked.

“I do, actually.”

“Tell us anyway?”

John Doe rolled his eyes. “It was an accident.”

“Accidental flamethrower injuries,” Dr. McNinja said, “Well, I suppose I’ve heard stranger.”

“I’m sure you have,” John Doe responded.

Peter couldn’t decide if he wanted to run away or punch John Doe in the face. Instead, he opted to continue business.

“Actually, why don’t we discuss your details?” Peter said, glancing at Dr. McNinja. The physician nodded and crossed his arms.

“For billing?” John Doe growled.

“For billing.”

“Listen, I don’t got much in the way of money,” John Doe said.

They never do, remarked Peter silently.

“But my word means something back in town,” John Doe continued, “So if you guys need anything… unsavory done, you give me a call, eh?”

“You’d need to leave your phone number for that,” Peter said.

“You always let the kid talk back like that?”

“Always,” Doc said pointedly, “He’s right, after all. Plus, we don’t deal in favors.”

John Doe squinted threateningly at Doc. “Hm. Maybe if you don’t let this one go, I decide to have a word with YOU. Neither of you want that.”

“Please, Mr. John Doe,” Doc chuckled, “Your body is still recuperating from the incident. You don’t want to interrupt your recovery by fighting a ninja and his vampire nurse, would you?”

John Doe flinched, then looked at Peter.

“You keep a vampire as your nurse?”

Doc nodded. “Is that a problem?”

“Hell yes, that’s a problem!” John Doe shouted, “Why the hell you keeping this animal alive?”

“Because he’s a professional, and he acts like one,” Dr. McNinja said. His voice didn’t grow a single decibel louder, but the aura coming from him was oppressive. Peter almost flinched.

John Doe seemed to notice the change in Doc’s stance as well. The man grunted, and glanced around him.

“Is my jacket here?”

“Hanging on the wall behind you,” Peter said, “You may want to get a new one.”

John Doe plucked his leather jacket off the wall behind him, not commenting on how charred it was. Hell, the left sleeve was disintegrating as John Doe put it on. Before either the doctor or his nurse could say anything, John Doe reached into his pocket and pulled out an unnecessarily large wad of cash.

“How much is the treatment?”

“20,000 Coin,” Doc said.

“For the tomato sauce?”

“For the full-body treatment of an isolation tank using highly experimental healing gel which cleared you of your damaged skin, analyzed its cells, and regrew a healthy copy of it around your body.”

John Doe raised his brow, then started flicking through his bills. He put a small amount of it away, and tossed the entire wad of cash into the air, glaring at Dr. McNinja.

“This isn’t the last you heard of me,” John Doe said.

“I saved your life,” Doc replied, “But if you really want to make this bigger than it is, then we can do the song and dance. Heavens know this isn’t the first time I’ve been threatened by someone with unsavory friends.”

John Doe glared again, then stormed off. Peter was gripping his fists hard enough that his sharp nails were starting to dig into his palms, causing black bile to ooze out of his cuts. Doc noticed Peter’s tense stance, and noticed the scattered bills on the floor.

“Oh, right,” Doc said, “Your condition. Would it help if I stayed to count with you?”

The compulsion was getting harder, but Peter instinctively knew that wouldn’t help. The kid shook his head.

“Alright,” Doc said, patting Peter’s shoulder, “I’ll be right outside whenever you’re done. I feel like getting Chinese.”

Doc turned away, and Peter collapsed to the floor. It was an incredibly annoying side-effect to being a vampire. Every time things got scattered on the ground, Peter had to stop and count how many there were before he could move on with his life.

This wasn’t the only thing that made Peter feel like a freak. Though he had gotten used to his… new diet as a vampire, sometimes he’d catch himself in the mirror drinking from a blood bag. He couldn’t see his own reflection (which was a nightmare in itself), but he still disliked seeing the blood bag floating in the air and realizing he was drinking from it. It felt… wrong.

Doc was incredibly patient with everything, though. He even bought a coffin and set it up in the basement, knowing that Peter would be more comfortable that way. The two of them set up a pulley system so that Peter could pull a comforter over himself while sleeping in the coffin. He even set the sprinklers from the clinic on manual, just in case a fire happened and Peter wasn’t able to find cover from the running water.

“It’s a good thing OSHA isn’t in the Crossroads,” Doc had joked when he was rigging the sprinklers. Whatever that meant.

Now that Peter thought about it, adjusting to the new life wasn’t all bad. Doc was great company, and perfectly understanding about everything. The man was eccentric, to say the least, and rather… irresponsible. However, when it really counted, he was dependable - scarily so, actually. Not just to his patients, but to Peter. He couldn’t even remember how many patients Doc had turned away just because they didn’t show Peter the respect Doc felt was deserved.

“Nineteen-thousand, nine-hundred ninety… nineteen-thousand, nine-hundred ninety-five… Nineteen-thousand, nine-hundred ninety-six.”

Huh. Peter was done. He could feel it, there were no more bills scattered on the floor.

John Doe was 4 Coin short.

Dr. McNinja knocked on the door, phone to his ear.

“Did you want anything?” Doc asked, “I know you don’t need to, but I remember you liked the shrimp pad thai last time.”

Peter forced a smile. “I’d like that. Thanks.”

Doc nodded, then returned to the phone. “Yeah, and one shrimp pad thai, please. No garlic. My assistant is allergic.”

Peter gathered the fallen bills and organized them again, sighing deeply.

“I understand that’s a strange allergy. Just don’t put it in.” Doc’s voice moved further down the hall as he talked. “What do you mean you can’t not put it in? You guys don’t account for people’s allergies? …Yes, I know- Ye- I know it won’t taste as good. I get it. But he’s actually very allergic, and I think he’d rather have bad food than food that will kill him.”

Peter chuckled at the conversation. Yeah. Life isn’t that bad.

But as Doc’s voice disappeared as he went upstairs, Peter noted that the calendar was clear for the rest of the day. As long as no other emergency patients came in, there was no work to be done. So after he cleaned up the mess from “John Doe”, Peter had nothing to do for the night.

The thought brought him a profound feeling of loneliness.

 

[Dr. McNinja]

TWO DAYS LATER

“Wait, so,” Peter chuckled, “You actually DID get threatened by someone from the Mafia? That wasn’t just a bluff?”

“The Cumberland Mafia, yeah,” Doc said, “Man tried to threaten me into giving him treatment.”

“So what’d you do?”

“I disassembled his pistol and had Judy escort him out,” Doc said with a shrug, “I was in the middle of seeing another patient.”

“Wait, so you refused treatment?”

“He threatened to kill us,” Doc explained, “I mean, technically it’s illegal, since he was in immediate need of urgent care, but I used to have a special arrangement about that kind of stuff.”

Peter frowned, concerned. “Wait, how hurt was he?”

“He had a swordfish going through his stomach.”

“He had a WHAT?!”

Doc shrugged. “He was gonna be fine, and I got Judy to call an ambulance right away. Then, a couple days later, he and his friends planted bombs all around my office.”

Peter’s eyes widened. This story was NOT helping him relax.

“Nobody got hurt, though,” Doc said, “I can teach you how to survive explosions later, if you want. My last…”

Doc fell silent at that point. Peter looked up to see that the burrito Doc had been holding had now vanished, having entered Doc’s mouth without Peter noticing. Peter was about to press the issue, but then the next patient came in.

“Trevor Phillips, here to see Dr. McNinja?” Mr. Phillips said, “I have diabeeeeetes.”

“Hello, Mr. Philips,” Doc said, “Why don’t you wait in my office? I’ll be right there, just let me wash my hands.”

And with that, the conversation was over.

Today had been a busy day. Even with the Daywalker’s Ointment that Doc gave him earlier, the sunlight streaming through the UV windows was still irritably hot on Peter’s face. Maybe it was just psychological, though. After all, Doc said that Peter had no less than three forms of protection against the sun, any one of which could protect a vampire completely from sun damage.

Thankfully, the day was winding down. Doc was seeing his last appointment for the day, and the sun was setting. Doc had said that he would take Peter out to a bar to go drinking, since it was a Friday. Peter loved Doc’s company, but he fully dreaded the idea. Since he arrived at the clinic that fateful day, Peter hadn’t once left the building, for fear of the sun or getting hurt.

Or worse… hurting someone himself.

Like Doc said, the hormone pills and the blood bags were more or less quenching his bloodthirst. But every now and then, Peter thought about how it felt to drink Walden’s blood back in the bandit caves. How good it felt when the blood flooded the pores in his fangs, how he could feel Walden’s dying pulse pump through his lips, how salty it tasted… He could feel Walden’s essence, how filthy the man was in the deepest parts of his soul.

Vampire hearts don’t beat, it would seem, unless the vampire thinks about drinking blood.

Peter inhaled deeply. He needed to flush those thoughts out. And as he did, he was wracked with guilt again. He also remembered how violating it felt to drink Walden’s blood. It felt amazing, and Walden was a terrible person, but no amount of justification could shake the feeling of how wrong it was.

It felt so good to be wrong, though.

“Focus!” Peter said to himself, this time out loud. He turned to see if anyone heard him. Thankfully, nobody did.

He had just fed on a blood bag a few minutes ago, so as long as he stopped thinking about things that… excited him, then he should be fine.

The glass door swung open, letting some stray beams of sunset into the clinic. Peter squinted at the brightness, instinctively covering himself from the heat. Only when the door swung close did Peter lower his hand.

Oh, my goodness.

“Hi,” the visitor said, “Is this Dr. McNinja’s clinic?”

Peter swallowed hard. In front of him was an absolutely adorable woman. Probably around his age, actually, maybe a little older. Her hair was a warm shade of hazelnut, which seemed to flow effortlessly but without regard to gravity. Her big blue eyes sparkled in the buzzing fluorescent light of the clinic. Light freckles rested on her face, like sprinkles of cinnamon on white frosting. She was wearing a yellow sundress which seemed to float in the air as she approached the counter. It wasn’t intentional, but the way her hips moved as she walked immediately caught Peter’s attention.

She blinked a couple times, and Peter remembered that, in the real world, time doesn’t slow down when you ogle someone.

“Erm, hm, yes,” Peter said, “I, uh, did you have an appointment?”

Idiot. Doc didn’t have any more appointments today.

“Um, no,” the woman replied with an embarrassed chuckle, “I actually- Well, first off, sorry for bothering you when it’s so late. There weren’t any times on your website, but I saw the light from the clinic and… I dunno, I thought maybe it might have been a night janitor, but then I saw the sign, and…”

The woman cleared her throat. “Sorry, what I’m trying to say is… I just had some questions for him.”

Peter blinked rapidly for a second. Then, he checked the clock on the wall.

“He’s seeing a patient right now,” Peter responded, “But he should be done soon. What were you hoping to ask about?”

“Well,” the woman said, “Maybe you can help me, actually. I’m here to inquire about a patient that was admitted here recently?”

Peter frowned a bit. This was now the second time in his short employment here that someone asked for confidential information.

“What’s your relationship to the patient?” Peter asked.

The woman grinned sheepishly. “Uh, well, I don’t- I’m not related to him. I just have a name.”

“Sorry, we’re not allowed to give any information on our patients,” Peter responded.

The visitor flinched. “I-I see. It’s just… it’s a matter of life and death, sort of.”

Peter bit his lip. Please don’t push this, lady, he thought, Saying no is hard enough as it is.

“How do you mean?”

“I think the patient was hurt by someone,” the woman continued, “Someone dangerous.”

Peter frowned. Well, this was actually starting to get quite suspicious.

“Do you think this person is in immediate danger?”

“No,” the woman said, then paused. “Well, maybe? I- I’m not sure.”

Peter cocked his head. “If you think something dangerous is going to happen, the best thing to do is alert the police. We legally can’t tell you anything, but if the police feel our input would be helpful, we can cooperate with them. Legally speaking, of course.”

“I kinda-” The woman looked down. “Well, what if the police isn’t really… an option?”

Peter squinted. Something about her expression was really soft and… guilty. He could feel his guard lowering.

Peter cleared his throat, and leaned in slightly. “Are... Are you involved in something?”

The woman shook her head furiously, leaning back a little. Her curly locks seemed to quiver as she did. Stop looking at her curly locks, Peter.

“No, no! Nothing like that,” the woman responded not-at-all convincingly, “Just… Hm… Did a really big man come by at some point? Horrible burns everywhere? Really bad attitude?”

Peter flinched. Oh goodness. She was looking for John Doe.

“Ma’am, I cannot confirm nor deny whether or not he is a patient here.”

The woman’s eyes twinkled slightly. Arbiters, she was pretty.

“So he did come by.”

“Ma’am, listen to me-“

“No, I’m not listening. I was watching. I saw your eyes flinch. Must be your tell.”

As the woman said this, her stature and expression suddenly shifted. She was suddenly very confident now, her eyebrows arched suggestively and accusingly. She leaned to the side, her right hand on her hip. Peter squinted for a second to process what was happening until-

Aw shit, she was playing you.

Peter cleared his throat. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. Now, if you’re not here for a medical issue, I’m going to have to ask you to leave-“

The woman sighed. “Yes, I understand. You’re right. Actually, now that you mention it, I have a mole on my back that I kinda want checked out. I saw on your site that you do walk-ins?”

Peter was about to decline, but at that very moment, the door to Dr. McNinja’s office opened. Trevor Phillips was being pushed down the hallway, protesting the whole time.

“But I have diabeeeeteeees,” Mr. Phillips whined.

“It’s just the beginning stage of cavities, Mr. Phillips,” Dr. McNinja groaned, “I’ll have my nurse give you the contact information for some good dentists in your area.”

Doc huffed, and straightened his lab coat as Mr. Phillips finally started walking on his own dejectedly. This was his third visit already this week, and it always ended the same way. Peter lifted the slip of paper he had prepared two days ago, listing the contact info and addresses of local dentists in Arcadia.

Peter cleared his throat. “Mr. Phillips, this is your- Mr. Phillips?”

Mr. Phillips, dejected as ever, walked straight past the receptionist desk and approached the clinic. Without stopping pace or reacting, he collided with the door, pushing it open with his momentum and continuing to walk off.

“Is he okay?” the woman asked.

“He’s like that,” Doc sighed, “I’ve called about getting him a guardian, but he seems impossible to nail down. Sorry, how can I help you?”

Peter looked at Doc desperately. “Sorry, Doctor, she was just-“

“Just here because I noticed a mole on my lower back that wasn’t there before!” the visitor interrupted, flashing a cute smile, “I know I don’t have an appointment, but I was wondering if you could just check it out.”

Dr. McNinja shrugged. “Sure, I have an opening. Come in.”

Peter opened his mouth to protest, but Doc had already turned around and entered his office. The woman stuck out his tongue to Peter as she passed the receptionist desk.

Oh, you’re not getting away that easy.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Doc said inside his office, “Please show me where the mole is.”

“Actually, Dr. McNinja,” Peter said, storming into the office, “Can I speak to you for one-“

Doc gave Peter a glance. It was… a knowing look. Peter flinched. How the hell did Dr. McNinja already pick up on what Peter was trying to say?

Ah, of course. In his decades of experience as a physician AND an assassin, Doc would be able to discern a person’s true intentions. He could probably see that Daisy wasn’t here for treatment. He probably wouldn’t fall for any of the tricks Peter fell for.

And Doc communicated all this with just his eyes. Well, not like Peter could see the rest of his face, of course.

Dependable when it’s important, Peter reminded himself, before excusing himself to return to his desk.

***

A few minutes later, the door to Doc’s office opened again. Peter stood up expectantly. Daisy stepped out, thanking the doctor before turning to Peter.

“Well, it was nice to meet you,” she said with a shit-eating grin, “Peter Pellbrook.”

The woman pranced out the door as Peter’s mouth fell open with shock. Oh Arbiters, what had Doc done?

The man himself stepped out of his office, chuckling triumphantly. He patted Peter’s shoulder hard with a grin that claimed to understand the situation.

“Alright, her name is Daisy Little,” Doc muttered, smiling wide, “She’s a student at Arcadia University, she’s free on the weekends, and between you and me, I think she was secretly hoping you would be the one checking the mole on her back.”

Peter looked at him, his expression deadpan. “Are you serious right now?”

“Yeah!” Doc snickered, “My man, she was sending you MAD signals. She wouldn’t stop asking about you. She didn’t even have a mole! It was just a birthmark!”

Peter smacked Doc’s hand off his shoulder. Dr. McNinja looked at him with an expression of genuine hurt.

“What?” Doc said, “I saw the signals you were making at me. You were into her, and I respect that. I didn’t make any moves on her, man. She’s 19, that’s way too young for me. Also, it’d be highly inappropriate, since she’s technically my patient now-”

“You’re a moron,” Peter hissed through grit teeth.

“That’s just hurtful. I talked you up a big game, dude.”

“She wasn’t here for me,” Peter continued, “She was here to get confidential information on John Doe.”

“Which John Doe?”

“The one that came in here with the burns! The one that threatened us!”

Doc leaned his head back in understanding. “Ohh, right. Yeah, turns out that was Daisy’s uncle John. Apparently he was involved in a factory fire. Really distrustful of doctors, apparently. You know the type.”

Peter lowered his face into his palms.

“You didn’t tell her anything, right?”

“About her uncle?” Doc shrugged. “I mean, yeah. Just that he was all good and I sent him home two days ago. She asked how bad the burns were. I told her I thought he was suspicious because I thought they were flamethrower injuries. She wanted to see his file, so I showed her. Actually, where is that file? Did you take it?”

Peter lowered his face into his palms again.

“What?” Doc asked, completely oblivious.

***

After Peter chewed him out for almost thirty minutes, Doc finally managed to slip away. He slid into his chair, peeking out his door. It seemed Peter was currently fuming at his seat in the receptionist’s desk. Having confirmed Peter wouldn’t come in, he tapped at his keyboard.

A window flashed up. The tracking beacon Doc had placed on John Doe’s folder was flashing. Good. She took the bait. Now where was she going…

“So you really are a student there,” Doc mumbled to himself, looking at “Daisy’s” location, “Gosh, I hope you aren’t just a regular person, or this is going to be very uncomfortable.”

No. Only someone up to something would just take important files like that. Plus, Peter had sensed something was off with her, too, or Doc wouldn’t have spent thirty minutes playing dumb just now.

“Alright, Daisy,” Doc mumbled, “Let’s see how you tie into all this.”

 

[Dr. McNinja]

Dr. McNinja and Peter never did end up going out for that drink. Peter’s mood was too spoiled by how easily played he and Doc both were. He felt so shallow. Is that all it took to distract him? A pretty face asking for help?

Well, it was more than enough for Doc, evidently. What an idiot. Well, at least he was booksmart.

It was now the next morning. The sunlight was once again bearing down upon Peter’s face. Doc had told Peter that, just like a regular person, a vampire could adjust their sleep schedule. Though a nocturnal lifestyle was preferable and more mentally healthy, Peter could (with some adjustment) live diurnally with minimal differences!

Well, Doc was lying. Shit sucked.

Peter rubbed his eyes underneath his sunglasses. The sun in his eyes was most of the problem, to be fair. As per Doc’s instructions, Peter had covered himself in clothes and sunscreen lotion. However, there was nothing much Peter could do to block out the sunlight from his eyes without literally closing his eyes (and protecting the eyelids, of course).

The young vampire tapped on his smartphone. It was difficult to find a phone that could register the taps of the undead WITHOUT explicitly saying that he was undead, but Doc finally revealed that there was a shop in Arcadia that sold them.

And now that Peter had recreational access to the Internet, he was streaming in as much knowledge as his poor brain could possibly take. Today, he was reading as much as he could about the types of cocktails that were prevalent in and unique to Nos’Talgia, and the strange phenomenon known as Sweet Tooth Mixing. Doc kept mentioning it, and Peter was curious.

“Hey, Peter,” Doc said, stepping out of his office.

“Yes, Doctor?”

“Let’s go get that drink.”

Peter looked outside. The sun was like a burning ball of death and hate, smothering the land with waves of scorching hellfire.

“No thanks.”

“Come aaaaahn!” Doc said, “It’s fine. No appointments today, anyway! Let’s gooooo.”

Peter looked outside again. “It’s 9 AM, doctor.”

“It’s 5:00 somewhere!”

“You know that’s not how the Crossroads works.”

“I don’t care how the Crossroads works,” Doc whined, “I haven’t had a good drink in what feels like years.”

“Is it because it’s been years?”

Doc sighed, and leaned on the counter of the reception desk Peter was sitting at.

“I get it,” Doc said, his voice suddenly earnest, “You’re scared. I’d be, too, I think. But it’ll be good practice. I personally guarantee nothing bad will happen to you.”

Peter looked back, his brow creased with a mixture of emotions. Doc raised his shoulders hopefully.

“We don’t necessarily need to go to a bar?”

Peter sighed. He looked back down at his phone about Sweet Tooth mixing.

“Do you think they make Cookies-n’-Rum over there?” Peter asked, “I kinda wanna try one. You’ve been hyping them up for weeks.”

“Ooh, yeah, that’s good stuff,” Doc hummed, “Gingerbread Lounge does some good Nos’Talgia drinks. Let’s go! Pretty sure they’re open.”

Peter inhaled deeply, his nervousness now starting to show on his face. But who knows? Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

***

This was absolutely terrible.

The sun was, surprisingly enough, not the worst part of it. One of the many protections Doc diagnosed Peter with was a ring that surrounded Peter with an imperceptibly thin layer of crystalline material. It was supposed to reflect the sunlight that gets through Peter’s other protections, away from Peter.

The problem was that it made Peter sparkle in the sunlight.

This amused Dr. McNinja to no end, which made everything worse. It wasn’t even that bad by itself, but Doc kept pointing and giggling something about twilights.

“The good thing is we know what bits are exposed to the sun,” Doc chuckled, “Since, you know, it’ll sparkle.”

Otherwise, Peter was just more warmly dressed than he normally would be. Over his collared shirt and khaki pants, Peter had put on a type of cloak that Doc called a “poncho.” He then wrapped a makeshift turban around most of his face, and put sunglasses, along with leather gloves.

It was this outfit in which Peter was stewing. Doc said that cars like his tended to be UV protected, so as long as nobody opened a window, Peter could relax. But given how easily the windows could be opened, Peter opted to keep his entire outfit on IN the car, and Doc insisted that it was MUCH too cold outside to turn on the air conditioning.

Maybe he was just trying to get Peter to finally take some clothes off.

Well, it worked. With a frustrated grunt, Peter threw off the poncho and fumed silently in the passenger’s seat. Doc gave him a warm smile.

“See?” Doc said, “Not that bad. The clothes will help if all six layers of sun protection go away. But again, SIX layers. Trust me, I wouldn’t let you leave without being crazy prepared.”

Doc parked his car in the garage at the city borders. After cutting off the ignition, Doc turned to look at Peter.

“Right, we’re going to have to walk from here,” Doc said, “You been to Arcadia before?”

“No.”

“Ah. Well, the car doesn’t fit in the narrower streets uptown. Come on, Gingerbread Lounge is this way.”

Peter squinted. “This is my first time in the city, and you’re gonna take me to a bar?”

“Hey, this was your idea,” Doc said, “And I can take you touring later if you want to, but I really need that drink right now.”

Peter looked around in wonder. Arcadia was infinitely more amazing than he could ever have imagined. Spires of stone buildings reached into the sky like a thousand blades of grass. Some even floated, supported by bowls of glowing blue crystals. Roots of trees seemed to reach upside down, crawling up the sides of most of the buildings. Despite this woodland vibe, there was a dense metropolitan sense to the place. Dozens of people bustled along, and as much as Peter tried, he couldn’t possibly hope to identify which person was adding which sound to the deafening urban chatter.

And thank Arbiters Peter was wearing sunglasses. Even in the daytime, the towers were all attached with dozens and dozens of lit signs. Each sign screamed for your attention, each letter sparkling and flashing. The overbearing light was the visual equivalent of an entire school of fish writhing in a barrel.

“Arbiters,” Peter mumbled to himself.

“Yeah, I know it’s a bit quiet, but the coolest bars are all on this street,” Doc said, a knowing twinkle in his eye.

“What?” Peter said breathlessly, “You mean there are supposed to be MORE?”

“Several million people is a big number,” Doc laughed, clapping Peter’s back, “And look at you! Hanging out in the sun without your turban!”

Peter suddenly covered his face with his hands, then looked up. Doc was right.

“I told you you were overdressed,” Doc chuckled, “Keep the shades on, though, your eyes could still be vulnerable. Now, come on! Let’s head inside.”

Doc threw open a glass door which was embedded in a particular large and dense clump of roots. Above the door, vines and flowers were painted with red and yellow paint. Peter barely noticed the sign in the absolute clusterfuck of advertising that was the city. Peter squinted, and realized they had arrived at their destination. He started to enter the threshold, but he felt the urge to stop.

“Doc, forgetting something?” Peter said.

Doc turned around. “Oh, yeah. Erm, I invite you in.”

Peter sighed, feeling the blood inside his veins relax as he jogged past the gently closing door.

[EN: Traditional Vampires can’t cross over manmade thresholds without permission, dear readers!]

Peter followed Doc down the grimy stairs. The inside was… much less glamorous. There was nothing here but a stairway going down with incredibly steep steps. Peter grit his teeth, realizing the steps were all soaked and incredibly slippery. The concrete hallway was so narrow that Peter could barely lift his arms, and it was short enough that Peter actually had to slouch a little.

And when Peter entered the lounge proper, it was another wildly different environment. Doc brushed his feet on the plastic wool carpet as Peter scanned the environment. Lacquered wood lined the inside of the lounge. The bar itself was lined with mirrors, which reflected a row of uncountably many multicolored bottles of booze. Warm yellow light filled the lounge, and Peter could now see where from. Plastic candles were placed in strategic locations, but when Peter focused on them, he realized the entire thing was just a plastic model of a candle. There was an electric bulb inside that was clearly meant to simulate a flickering flame.

Funny. Peter’s parents couldn’t even afford regular candles.

“Table for two, please,” Doc said to a waiter.

Peter almost recoiled when he realized that the waiter was, in fact, a gargantuan man made of bread. If Peter was pressed on the matter, he would’ve guessed that the man was, in fact, a muffin man.

“Of course, sir. If I may have your name…?”

“Dr. McNinja.”

“First name?”

“Don’t have one. Just McNinja.”

“Of course. Right this way.”

Dr. McNinja leaned in. “By the way, it’s the kid’s first time at a place like this.”

“Of course.” The waiter smiled, and Peter noticed that each of his teeth were chocolate chips. “Welcome, sir. Now, allow me to bring you to your table.”

Dr. McNinja clapped Peter’s shoulder. “Hey, I gotta go take a dump. You order whatever, alright?”

Peter nodded nervously as he looked at the other customers. They were… much rougher than Peter ever assumed the patrons of a candy pub could be. Or a candy BAR, Peter chuckled to himself. There were variously bald men of various races, all technically humanoid but barely fitting human proportions. Some orcs sipped on candy milkshakes with shot glasses floating inside as if they were ice cubes. Peter thought he could see a strange fungal goliath sticking a finger into a bottle of ale, the contents of which was getting drained. Though everyone was finely dressed, their faces indicated roughhousing.

All of them, except for one. The woman who was sitting at the table across his own.

“You,” Peter veritably snarled.

“Daisy,” who was still wearing her yellow sundress, looked up at Peter in surprise.

“Oh,” she said, “Hello, Peter Pellbrook. What brings you here?”

 

[Dr. McNinja]

Peter did a quick analysis of the situation. Given the burly men around here, if Peter made too much of a ruckus, then someone might try to stop him. He might end up hurting someone if his blood went up too much. On the other hand, Doc was in the bathroom. He was the type to come out of nowhere and back Peter up when Peter would need it most.

Still, it was probably best to approach this situation calmly.

Peter sat down across Daisy, glaring at her. Okay, Peter, play coy, try to buy time for Dr. McNinja to return.

“You stole the files for John Doe,” the vampire snarled.

Smooth.

Daisy blinked hard, then looked at him with an amused expression.

“Say it louder, won’t you?” Daisy said with a nervous grin, “And no, I didn’t. The doctor gave them to me.”

This stunned Peter for several seconds, long enough for a waiter to approach Daisy’s table. The waiter was a 5-foot-tall gingerbread man with sprinkles under his frosting nose in the shape of a wiry mustache, but Peter was far too distracted to actually notice.

“Madame, is this an acquaintance of yours…?” the waiter asked.

Daisy cleared her throat. “Erm, yes. We just ran into each other. It’s fine.”

“Very well. Hello, sir, my name is Sugardrop, and I’ll be serving you this evening,” the waiter nodded, “And have you decided what you would like to order?”

Daisy smiled. “Yes, I’d like a Mint-Chocolate Mojito. Peter?”

Peter closed the mouth he only just noticed was open. He swallowed hard as he turned to the waiter, whose gentle and unassuming jelly bean eyes waited expectantly for Peter’s response.

“Um,” Peter said, “Cookies-n-Rum, please.”

“Very good, sir and madame,” Sugardrop said, “Would you like to see a dinner menu?”

Peter shook his head. “No thank-”

“Yes, please,” Daisy interrupted, nodding fervently.

The waiter nodded graciously and left two menus on the table. Peter squinted, realizing that the board on the back was made of graham crackers. Daisy smiled warmly at the waiter.

“Thank you,” Daisy said, “Could you give us a few minutes?”

“Of course.”

Sugardrop finally left, disappearing into the back. Peter watched him warily. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the discrepancy of this place. It seemed SO fancy, but there were all these thug-like people around. Peter could peg at least four people who he’d immediately assume to be a hardened criminal. What were they even doing in a literally candy-ass place like this?

Daisy leaned in. Peter flinched at the smell of saffron washing over him like a wave. It was… nice.

“What made you think I stole them?” the woman whispered.

Peter looked around, before responding.

“Why are you whispering?”

“Shh,” Daisy hissed, “Please try not to make a scene.”

“Okay,” Peter whispered, leaning in. “Why are you whispering?”

“You haven’t even answered my question,” Daisy pouted, “But fine. I’m sort of on a mission here. Don’t blow my cover, okay?”

Peter raised an eyebrow. His eyes moved up and down Daisy’s gentle and sweet countenance and her bright yellow dress, then quickly towards the shark-men and the orcs with their black leather jackets and dark tunics.

“What cover?” Peter snarked.

“Hilarious. I just thought a place that sells candy drinks would have… gentler clientele,” Daisy whispered, “And judging from your expression, so did you.”

“Wait, you’re on a mission?” Peter said, “I thought you were a student.”

“I am,” Daisy said, before squinting teasingly. “Wait, how do you know that? Were you following me?”

“What kind of mission is this?” Peter hissed, “Are you here to sell drugs or something?”

“The point of a conversation is that communication flows both ways, Peter Pellbrook.”

Peter squinted as Daisy smirked at him. Was she flirting with him? Nah, no way. There was no reason she would be. That wasn’t even a particularly flirtatious thing to say- good Arbiters, please focus, Peter.

Daisy, while Peter sat frozen in thought, waited patiently. Peter cleared his throat again.

“Erm, Dr. McNinja said you mentioned you were studying at the University of Arcadia.”

Daisy giggled. “Gee, that man plays hard and fast with the rules of patient confidentiality.”

Peter chuckled in response. “Yeah, he’s like that.”

The two grinned briefly before Peter reverted to his business face.

“So?” Peter asked, “Are you here to do something criminal?”

“No,” Daisy sighed, “I mean, it’s probably illegal, but it’s not criminal.”

Peter squinted. “That’s… the same thing.”

Daisy winced slightly, then shrugged. Her dress strap slipped off her shoulder a little bit, prompting her to readjust- PETER PLEASE FOCUS.

“Maybe,” Daisy admitted, “But I’m doing it to stop something worse.”

Peter held back a snicker. “What, you’re a vigilante?”

“Not quite.”

Peter blinked at the response. He leaned back. “A cop?”

“Goodness, no,” Daisy chuckled, “Like you said, I’m just a student.”

“So then what the hell kind of mission-”

Daisy suddenly snapped her head to the side, not-so-subtly covering her face with her hand as she looked to the side. Peter instinctively looked up, then averted his gaze like she did, raising his hood.

Holy shit, that’s John Doe.

Thankfully, the burly human didn’t seem to have noticed Peter. The young vampire peeked from beneath his hood, noticing that John Doe looked far too nervous and anxious to be scanning the room. Sugardrop emerged from the back, and crossed his gingerbread arms while glaring at John Doe disapprovingly. After a silent exchange of words, Sugardrop opened the door to the back for John Doe to enter.

“Now,” Daisy mumbled to Peter, “why would John Doe, a non-employee, be sent into the back kitchen?”

Peter shrugged. “Maybe he is an employee here?”

Daisy gave him an amused look. Peter shrugged.

“I try not to expect the worst of people.”

Daisy snorted. “Except me, for some reason.”

“Well, you stole our files.”

“I already told you, Dr. McNinja gave them to me,” Daisy sighed, “And plus, I heard John Doe threatened to do much worse.”

Peter grit his teeth. Arbiters, Doc really told her everything. Actually, it couldn’t have been that much. How would Daisy even know what John Doe looked like? His picture wasn’t in the file.

“So you know why I hid my face,” Peter whispered, “Mind telling me why you hid yours?”

At that moment, Sugardrop exited from the back kitchen, holding a tray with two very fancy-looking cocktails.

“Your drinks,” Sugardrop said, “And have you decided on what you’d like to order for dinner?”

Daisy shook her head apologetically. “Sorry, we were busy catching up. Did you want something, Peter?”

“I just ate.”

“Okay,” Daisy said. She was clearly hoping Peter would help buy some time. “Um, do you want to share the fries?”

Peter glanced back at Sugardrop. Something about the waiter was now deeply unsettling. Now that he was able to speak to Daisy more frankly, he was starting to notice how nervous she got around Sugardrop. Something was going on here.

“Sure,” Peter finally answered.

Daisy smiled at Sugardrop. “An order of fries, please.”

“Very well,” Sugardrop said, apparently disappointed they weren’t ordering more. “I’ll leave the menu here when you change your mind.”

“If,” Peter corrected, “If we change our mind.”

Daisy gave a glance that so clearly communicated, “What the hell are you doing?” Sugardrop, in contrast, nodded courteously and bowed slightly.

“Of course, sir.”

The waiter left. Peter looked around at his surroundings.

“So this place is a front.”

Daisy squinted. “Did… you not know?”

“I’ve not been to the city before,” Peter admitted, “Doc said this place was nice.”

Daisy snickered as she took a sip of her mojito. “Doc lied.”

Peter nodded grimly as he eyed his beverage cautiously. Daisy giggled.

“I mean, they make good cocktails, don’t get me wrong,” Daisy continued, “But… well, I’ll tell you the other stuff when we get out of here.”

Peter subtly gazed at the other patrons in the lounge. They… they were all staring at Daisy’s table. Some of them chugged the last of their drinks, and others were rolling back the sleeves of their shirts. Daisy glanced nervously from side-to-side while Peter sipped his Rum-n-Cookies. Holy shit, Daisy was right. This tasted really nice. It tasted just like a cookies-n-cream milkshake, but at the same time, Peter could feel the kick of alcohol.

“They don’t like us very much,” Peter grinned.

“Yeah, looks that way,” Daisy said. She was shaking.

Suddenly, five gunshots rang from outside the lounge. Daisy and Peter stared at the backdoor uneasily as they heard John Doe yell something unintelligible.

Daisy turned back to Peter. “Oh God, what do we do?”

“We leave,” Peter said, putting his sunglasses on again. His face was calm, but his hands were shaking.

Daisy nodded nervously. “...yeah. Let’s do that.”

The two of them rose more abruptly than either would probably have liked to. Peter’s thoughts immediately went to Dr. McNinja. That man never took this long for a trip to the bathroom. He momentarily played with the thought of going to retrieve him, but realized that that meant he would have to leave Daisy alone with the thugs… not that he cared about that. More pertinently, Doc could so easily handle himself. Meanwhile, Daisy was seemingly just a civilian with no combat abilities, and it was too close to noon for Peter to risk exposure to the sun.

Peter grabbed Daisy’s hand and did his best to casually smile at Sugardrop.

“Sir, we’d like to cancel the fries and pay for our drinks.”

Sugardrop stared at him with a raised eyebrow. “Is everything alright?”

“The drinks were delicious,” Daisy said, “But… something came up.”

Sugardrop stared at the woman this time, continuing to be unconvinced. An idea crossed Peter’s mind, and the vampire wrapped his arm around Daisy’s shoulder, bringing her in.

“You know,” Peter said, winking slightly.

Daisy yelped as she was pulled in, but it only took her a moment to understand what Peter was doing. She giggled shyly as she covered her face, leaning on Peter with one hand on his chest.

I know it literally is incapable of beating, Peter thought to himself, But be still, my beating heart.

Sugardrop seemed to STILL be unconvinced.

“I apologize, sir, but your money is no good here.”

Peter gave a puzzled glance, feigning ignorance. “I don’t understand. Then how do we pay for our drinks?”

A choir of scrapes and shuffling noises filled the lounge as all of its patrons rose on cue. Peter felt Daisy’s hand clench, though her head lay still. Sugardrop’s jelly bean eyes didn’t change expression at all, but Peter could feel the hostility rise within them.

“I’m sure we can come up with some arrangement.”

Peter sighed. “Well, I’m sure this is quite inappropriate. When the guard hears about this-”

“If,” Sugardrop said, smiling sinisterly, “If the guard hears about this.”

Peter’s nervous expression fell, and his eyes grew dimmer at Sugardrop’s words. He instinctively pulled Daisy away from Sugardrop a short distance.

“Alright,” Peter admitted, “That was a pretty good one.”

Nobody in the lounge moved a muscle for a few seconds. Peter heard a floorboard squeak as someone shifted their center of weight, and fear immediately filled his heart. He felt that the lounge would explode with the tension built up here.

Then, the lounge did explode into flames.

 

[Dr. McNinja]

[FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THE BOMBING OF THE GINGERBREAD LOUNGE]

Doc watched the scene carefully from a nearby roof, sprawled prone on the warm red tiles, and observed Peter and Daisy’s conversation from afar. The minute he noticed that Daisy’s tracker was actually at the Gingerbread Lounge, he realized that she was up to something. But so far, everything was apparently okay. He couldn’t hear anything, unfortunately. But Peter was even more stuck-up about doing the right thing than Doc was, so his more relaxed expression gave Doc no small amount of relief.

In fact, judging from his expression, things were going really well.

“Wow, that became a date really fast,” Doc mused, “He even forgot about tracking John Doe.”

Doc took out his phone. On his GPS, the tracker for John Doe was still beeping. Thank goodness John Doe seemed to only own one jacket.

Well, Peter had the stuff with Daisy under control. Hey, if Peter was extra good, he might even figure out what the hell Daisy was doing in a place like the Gingerbread Lounge. He trusted Peter enough to control his own libido. And even if he couldn’t, this would actually be a fascinating study into a vampire’s tendencies for sexual activity. It would have been more helpful to have a record of Peter’s pre-vampirification sexual activity, but that… was obviously just not possible.

Point is, Peter has this under control.

Dr. McNinja silently vaulted across another street, the tip of his shoe cushioning his landing against the next roof. The physician scampered across the rooftops, stealthily tracking John Doe. John Doe’s tracker was nearby, too, which Doc had seriously not planned. Doc hung from the top of the roof, directly over the backdoor to the Lounge.

Oh, goodness, the tracker was going inside the Lounge.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit-

Oh, no, we’re okay, it’s still moving.

“Wait,” Doc muttered, “It’s actually moving out of-”

Doc yanked himself up as the backdoor flew open, clenching himself onto the wall to stay hidden as John Doe exited the lounge, chased by a somehow even bigger man.

“Please,” John Doe groaned, “I swear, it’s the truth.”

“Yeah, right,” the larger man grunted, “Everyone knows the Punisher is just a myth to scare the greenies. And he’s never used fire.”

John Doe whimpered, “I swear, he burned all of us alive- I’m telling the truth-”

“Then where are your burns, Freddy?”

Doc took out his notepad, and wrote ”John Doe = Freddy ??”.

“There- There was a doctor,” Freddy continued, “He did something to me… There were tomatoes…”

“Now, what kind of fucking idiot do you take me for, Freddy?” the larger man shouted, “Do I look like a fucking moron? Are you trying to fuck me, Freddy?!”

“No, please, Harry, I’m telling the truth-”

As Dr. McNinja was making the next note, his pencil snapped loud enough to draw attention. Harry looked up at Dr. McNinja, who was somehow attached to the wall with just his feet. Doc smiled sheepishly.

“You guys don’t have a spare pencil, do you?” Doc asked.

Harry immediately drew what looked like a .44 Magnum. Doc jumped off the wall, tumbling in the air as Harry fired a flurry of shots after him. Doc jabbed at Harry’s side, pausing his assault. Freddy pulled his own piece, but Doc quickly kicked it out of the thug’s hand. As Harry raised his gun to fire another shot, Doc grabbed the revolver, and pointed it upwards at the last second. The bullet fired into the air, and as Harry registered this, Doc yanked the gun out and popped out the casings in the cylinder.

“A cooler man than me would try and freak you out by making you wonder how many bullets you have left,” Doc explained, popping out the ammunition cylinder and dissembling the gun in seconds, “But I don’t have that kind of time. Good to see you, ‘John Doe.’”

“You’re that doctor,” Freddy stammered.

“Yeah,” Doc said, “So what’s going on here?”

Freddy and Harry glanced at each other. Harry gave Freddy a furious glare, and Freddy said nothing. Doc rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, guys, I actually don’t have that much time, and you don’t want to see what it’s going to look like if I have to delay this visit.”

The pair still didn’t respond, though Freddy clearly very much wanted to. Doc sighed and drew his sword.

“Alright, hard way,” Doc said as he nicked Freddy’s neck slightly with the tip of the blade, “Feel like telling me who’s burning y’all alive now?”

Freddy’s mouth quivered. The pain wasn’t much, but he could feel the warm blood dripping down his neck. And Doc’s blade was getting even closer.

“Who’s doing this?” Doc asked again, “WHO?”

“Me,” a distant voice growled.

Dr. McNinja spun around and brandished his blade, preparing for combat. His eyes widened as he saw the person who spoke, and his face flinched as heat approached him like a raging bull.

“Oh goodness,” Doc mumbled as the fireball hit him directly.

 

[Dr. McNinja]

Dr. McNinja had always said that the point of repeated training exercises was to make these lessons an instinct. He said that, when you actually get into a combat scenario, your adrenaline makes it harder to think straight, and you succumb to the feral instinct to fight or flight. The point of training was to hack that instinct, add a third option, the smarter option.

In this case, the third option was simply to turn around.

Dr. McNinja’s world operated differently from most of the worlds that many of these traveler-types experienced. It seemed to exist at an intersection between the more “normal” worlds and something that might fit right at home in Nos’Talgia. Even the laws of physics worked differently in that place. There was an inexplicable strength in understanding narrative flow and identifying popular visual cues.

Of course, Peter Pellbrook had never seen an action movie, and didn’t understand the logic behind facing your back to an explosion. But in the past week, Doc had explained repeatedly that fire was one of Peter’s greatest weaknesses as a vampire. The grueling training that Peter had gone through was… unorthodox, perhaps even inhumane. Doc just approached him sometimes with a flamethrower. Peter had healed through an unspeakable number of “harmless” burns learning how to defend against fire. Peter hated that training.

Well, he sure was thankful now.

Because of his heightened tension and senses, he felt the fireball coming far earlier than anyone else in the area had. His legs were already launched into a sprint in the opposite direction, his head tucked in. And his arms, as always, immediately reached for the flammable thing to protect: Daisy.

Peter barely registered Daisy yelping as he hugged her tightly as he ran. He needed to time this just right, or both he and Daisy were just going to be burned like everyone else. What did Doc always say?

Feel the heat, Peter could hear Doc’s voice, And just when it feels like there’s one burning finger across your neck, and your hairs stand up…

Peter focused hard. Thank the Arbiters for vampire senses, he could actually count the number of hairs rising up on the back of his neck. But curse the Arbiters as well; the lash of heat across his back was far worse than it probably would’ve been if Peter was a regular human.

Jump, Peter.

The world was moving in slow-motion. Peter could feel the other patrons start to grunt, and he had to assume the fireball was well on its way through the lounge. He heard wood crackle and shatter in the heat.

JUMP!

Peter tucked his legs up as he hopped into the air, curling up his head. Arbiters, please let this work in real life.

He felt the heat wash over him like a tide. He remembered the feeling of rolling around in the sun as a kid and getting sunburnt. The sensation was similar to that. Peter knew cerebrally that flames were completely coating both him and Daisy in what should be a deadly storm of heat, but all he could think about was how warm and pleasant the sensation was.

The warmth quickly changed to pain as the fire rushed past, like a thousand claws scraping past him. Time started to speed up again, and Peter collided hard onto the ground, covering Daisy as much as he could with his own body.

The fire washed away, licking the air before fizzling into nothingness.

Peter panted, tears in his eyes. He looked down at Daisy. Her hair was frazzled, and her skin was dark with soot, but her eyes communicated only surprise, and not pain. The woman started coughing. That was fair. There was a familiar stink here.

“How the hell did you do that?” Daisy finally gasped.

“Uh, ninja tricks, apparently,” Peter grunted, “You okay?”

Daisy nodded. “You’re not, though.”

The woman pointed at Peter’s back. The back of his shirt was completely gone, and the edges of what was left quietly sizzled with tiny flames. Upon seeing the burning shirt, Peter suddenly felt the pain of heat around his back. The young man yelped and rolled onto his back. The debris of shattered wood and smoldering metal stung, but they wouldn’t harm him like the fire would.

After confirming that his shirt was just singed and not fully ablaze, Peter coughed and stood up. Daisy was looking around in horror. The dozens of thugs that were going to attack Peter and Daisy were sprawled in various places around the lounge. If they were lucky, their molten flesh was still in one place. Peter grimaced as he saw an arm stuck to the back wall, pocked with horrifying singed holes.

Peter realized where he recognized this smell from.

“Oh my God,” Daisy said as she realized the same thing.

“We need to-” Peter groaned. His back stung really badly. “We need to leave.”

Daisy couldn’t respond, as the sight was just too much for her. She hunched over, and started throwing up. Peter had taken care of his mother enough to know what to do, and started holding her hair back as Daisy hurled onto the charred ground.

Peter looked down at the refuse. They shouldn’t leave evidence here. The teen used his hydromancy to dissolve Daisy’s barf on the floor.

“You know magic?” Daisy asked.

“A little water magic,” Peter said, “You feeling any better?”

Daisy shook her head as she scanned the lounge again.

“I don’t understand,” Daisy coughed, wiping her mouth, “Why are we okay? What ninja trick protects us from this?”

Peter shrugged. “Maybe the ninja trick was just to get as far away from the explosion as you can. I don’t feel like that was harmless.”

Daisy gave him a bewildered look, then pointed behind them. Peter took in the full extent of the damage for the first time. The flames were somehow powerful enough to climb up the stairs and into the bigger street. There was pandemonium outside that Peter just couldn’t hear before - ah, his ears must have been ringing.

“We didn’t get far enough,” Daisy said, “We should be…”

Peter couldn’t help but stare at the outline of his and Daisy’s body on the ground, a perfectly clean arrangement of floorboards that was surrounded by charred wood. The fire was apparently so hot it carved most of the floorboards away… but Peter and Daisy were mostly okay.

Thank you, Dr. McNinja.

“Dr. McNinja!” Peter exclaimed.

Daisy blinked. “What?”

“He was in the bathroom. He can’t have seen the fire coming,” Peter said as he started making his way towards the bathroom.

He stopped in his tracks and looked in horror at the lounge’s brand new decoration. Daisy was right behind him, but she gasped and covered her mouth when she noticed it.

“Peter,” Daisy muttered, “I’m so sorry.”

A charred body was pinned against the backdoor. Most of the clothes had been burned away, but Peter could tell right away that the figure was wearing a white labcoat before the explosion. Doc’s signature katana was embedded through the figure’s ribcage, pinning the burnt body against the door. He could see the burning fringes of what used to be a ninja mask tightly wound around the face.

Now Peter wanted to throw up.

***

After another minute, Daisy offered her coat to cover up Peter’s burnt-up shirt. She seemed to offer it in the spirit of decency, but Peter gladly accepted the layer of protection from the sun. After all, that explosion took place in the middle of the day.

They still had another minute before the guard finally arrived, Daisy said. Peter stared for a while at the stabbed figure. God, it was even about the right size as Doc. And this sword… he couldn’t ever forget it.

Peter held back a sob. This was his closest friend. And now he was…

Daisy, meanwhile, was investigating the source of the explosion. She seemed to be unsurprised.

“He was here,” Daisy muttered.

Peter whirled around, glaring. “Who?”

Daisy shook her head. Peter approached her as calmly as he could, but he would have absolutely delighted in ripping Daisy’s throat out and lapping at the fountain of delicious blood-

Peter stopped in his tracks, closing his eyes. He used his tongue to press his fangs back into his cheeks. His blood was up. Of course it was. The adrenaline and the… anger.

Control it.

“Who?” Peter repeated.

Daisy was staring at him, a little freaked out. But she nodded, as if to understand what Peter was going through.

“Okay,” Daisy said, “But not here. We should go to my place. I’ll tell you more.”

Fortunately, this back area had a fire escape ladder to move back onto the street. Perhaps this wasn’t the type of fire the designers had in mind, but it would work. Daisy picked up an umbrella from nearby and hooked it onto the bottom rung, and pulled the ladder down. It landed heavily on the burnt cobblestone.

“Let’s go before the guard arrives,” Daisy mumbled, “Neither of us look good in the eyes of the law right now.”

Peter nodded. Once they realized Peter was a vampire, they wouldn’t hesitate to execute him on the spot, no matter how little sense it made for a vampire hydromancer to commit arson like this.

The vampire looked back at Dr. McNinja’s corpse mournfully. Solemnly, he pulled hard on Doc’s old sword, causing Doc’s body to crumple onto the floor in a pile of burnt remains.

“I’ll come back to bury you,” Peter mumbled.

Daisy watched Peter mournfully. He could read some guilt in her eyes.

“Come on,” Daisy said, “My dorm isn’t far from here.”

 

[Dr. McNinja]

After some walking in the shadows, Daisy hailed a cab. The bright-yellow floating carriage descended to street-level, exiting the floating freeway above the pair. The door opened.

“Arbiters, the traffic’s crazy,” the cab driver chuckled, “Must’ve been an accident somewhere.”

Daisy entered the cab. Peter shuffled uncomfortably as his body refused to move forward. Daisy looked at him strangely, then waved him in.

Not verbal. Not good enough.

“Get in, lad, we don’t have all day!” the cab driver shouted.

There it is. Peter slid into the cab. The cab driver looked at the two of them, his teasing eyes full of amusement. The driver was a large man wearing dense layers of clothing. He had a large beard and thick sunglasses, and he smelled like he had just cleared a whole rack of barbecued ribs. It’d smell delicious, if Peter hadn’t very recently been in contact with a different type of roasted meat.

“What happened to ya?” the driver grimaced as he noticed the soot on the pair’s faces.

“It’s not your business,” Peter said, a little sharply.

Daisy looked at him with the intention to admonish, but fell silent. The driver fortunately only chuckled.

“Alright, that’s fair. As long as you don’t leave the seat all black.” The driver grinned, and his whole beard shifted stiffly. “So where are you two headed?”

Daisy leaned forward to speak with the cab driver. Peter stayed seated in the cab, stunned.

“Um, University of Arcadia dorms, please. Do you know where the Isley Residence Hall is?”

“I can put it in the navigator thing. Isley Residence Halls?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Peter stared straight ahead as the cab lifted into the air. The wonder of being in one of the famous flying cabs was totally lost on him as he gripped tightly onto Doc’s sheathed katana.

Daisy looked at him with worried eyes. Wordlessly, she offered her hand. Peter visibly didn’t notice, so she closed her eyes and sighed. Mustering some bravery, she snuck her hand under Peter’s. Peter mindlessly gripped tightly onto it, locking his fingers between hers.

The cab driver grinned quietly under his heavy beard.

“Isley Residence Halls,” the driver said into his navigator.

The navigator chirped back, “Routing to… Hyde-Lee’s Resonance Mall.”

“No, you daft machine,” the driver snapped, “Isley Residence Halls!”

“Turn left.”

“NO”

Daisy stifled a grin as she gripped Peter’s fingers back. Peter glanced at her briefly, nervous about her reaction. She seemed to notice, and their eyes met before they both glanced away. Their hands stayed locked together.

***

Almost an hour later, Daisy swiped her credit card on the reader. The driver waved them off. Peter was ashamed to admit it, but he found that he wasn’t particularly mournful about Dr. McNinja. Instead of feeling sad, he just felt… numb. Even a little excited?

“Have fun, you two!” he said. Before either Daisy or Peter could retort, the cab lifted roughly into the air and took off.

Peter looked up at the dorm. There was something incredibly gothic about this place. Perhaps it was because the sun had set now, but the dark sky hung over the building like a tattered shawl. Bits of the roof were peeling with rotted paint, and the fences that guarded the dorm were barbed spears of rusting black iron.

“You live here?” Peter asked.

“The outside changes often,” Daisy explained as she rang her keycard next to the gate, “Magic school and all that. This is the dorm’s Halloween costume.”

“It looks like an insane asylum.”

“I’m not that crazy, Peter Pellbrook.”

Peter slipped a grin at that as the gate creaked open. A ghastly, echoing voice said, “Weeeeelcooooome to Arkhaaam Asyyyyluuuuum!”

Peter raised his eyebrows, staring at Daisy amusedly. Daisy grinned wide as she rolled her eyes.

“I swear, I don’t live in an asylum. The woman this place was named for has all these urban legends around her, including that she went… plant-crazy? Sorta? So they’re doing a fun little homage to her.”

Peter grit his teeth. Daisy had now stepped through the gates, but she hadn’t actually invited him in. He pretended to be apprehensive about the building, leaning on a nearby tree.

Daisy rolled her eyes. “What, you scared I’m a psycho killer?”

“Well, now I am.”

“Well, count yourself lucky, Peter, you’re too pretty to kill,” Daisy said, gesturing at Peter, “Come on.”

Good enough. Peter sighed and entered the threshold. Ugh, he was gonna have to do another song and dance once they entered the actual building-

“Wait, did you just say I was pretty?” Peter asked.

Daisy’s cheeks grew red as she looked away. “What? I- No, I was just riffing on the serial killer joke we had going-“

Peter snickered as Daisy blushed harder and spun around.

“Shut up and come inside,” she snapped, throwing open the front door to the dorm.

Oh cool, Peter didn’t even have to do anything that time.

***

“Once we get in, you can clean up the… you know. Soot. I have… some spare clothes that might fit you.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “I’m not wearing a dress.”

Daisy chuckled. “I meant a hoodie and sweatpants, jackass. I’ve only got the one dress anyway.”

As it turned out, Daisy didn’t have any roommates. Isley Hall apparently used a flat system; about six to seven small single rooms, one student each, all sharing one large kitchen and a couch. Nobody else greeted the pair as Daisy tapped her ID against a card reader.

“Sorry, it’s a mess inside,” Daisy mumbled, “Didn’t know anyone was coming today.”

The wooden door beeped and flicked into a green shade. Peter jerked back in surprise as Daisy roughly nudged the door open.

Daisy’s dorm room was a tiny little room, with barely enough space for a tiny bed, a wardrobe and a desk. The carpeting was cheap and rough, and caked with decades-old mess. Peter couldn’t even tell what it was caked with. There were some clothes strewn on the ground. The mattress was about as thin as three yoga mats, and seemed to be about half as comfortable. The bedframe was clearly a rusty piece of garbage that had been given a new paintjob to resemble actual furniture. Even then, the paint was colored like the inside of a smoker’s lung. The desk was quite nice in comparison, hosting a large shelf at the top and several drawers. It was clean and neat, with sheets and textbooks organized into neat piles.

Most curiously, Peter couldn’t possibly count how many sports were represented by the equipment piled up in this room. He noticed the soccer cleats, the golf shoes, AND the rugby cleats all hanging from Daisy’s closet. Most of the clothes strewn around were various jerseys, all emblazoned with a large “9”. In a corner was a veritable orchard of tall bags; Peter spotted a golf bag, several tennis rackets, Tucked under the desk was no less than three different pairs of ice skates, which seemed to be fitted for different purposes.

Peter nodded. “So you like sports?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Daisy sighed, “Come in. Um… Bathroom to the left.”

Peter looked where she was pointing. Ah, so individual bathrooms? Peter blinked at the sheer luxury of the place. He used to sleep in the same room with all four of his brothers, in a room not that much larger than this. AND she had her own bathroom?

The shower was small enough that any particularly large person would be forced to touch at least one of the walls. The tiny toilet was actually jutting into the wall slightly, preventing anyone from actually getting a seat on it. The sink was actually overlapping a little with the toilet - if you spilled any water from the sink, it was bound to land in the toilet. There was a small mirror hanging on the wall over the sink. Peter scowled at the empty reflection. He couldn’t even see what parts of his face were dirty. Great.

Peter looked back at Daisy.

“Um…” Peter swallowed. “I don’t understand how to work this.”

Daisy raised an eyebrow. “The faucet?”

Peter nodded. “Different from the one I’m used to.”

“You just…” Daisy made a rotating motion. “Turn it.”

Peter squinted at the device in front of him. There were two ribbed vertical wheels, and one long tube. Hm. Maybe he’s supposed to… Peter gripped the spout and gently tugged it to the side. Daisy, noticing this, rushed over.

“No, no, like-” Daisy pointed at the handle for the hot water. “Turn that. It’ll get the hot water. Um, sorry, sometimes it can-”

Peter turned it, noticing that the handle was much more cooperative than the spigot. The spigot started flowing freely, but to Peter’s great surprise, a thin jet of water also shot out of the handle itself, grazing Peter’s face.

“Ow!” Peter yelped as he gripped his cheek, reeling from the sink. He resisted the urge to hiss ferally at the sink.

Daisy rushed over, fiddling with the handle. The jet of water stopped shooting out of the sink, but the damage was done. Apparently, vampiric biology was not too picky on the definitions of “flowing water.” Any directional stream of water, no matter its size or source, scaled Peter like it was boiling. Even rain felt like searing drops of acid on Peter’s skin. Dr. McNinja said he didn’t know of any protections beyond just staying clear of all flowing water. Peter had to fill a bowl to wash his face.

Peter looked up, realizing that Daisy was now close enough to see the mirror. He pushed past her out of the bathroom, holding his stinging cheek.

“Sorry, sorry!” Daisy said, turning off the water entirely, “I was gonna say, the sink’s real shitty, and it can- I’m sorry, did it burn you?”

Daisy stuck her pinky into the water that receded into the sink, and frowned slightly. “That’s odd, water isn’t even warmed up yet…”

Peter shook his head with a smile. “It’s fine, I just got surprised. Here, why don’t you use the bathroom? I can clean myself with my water magic anyway.”

Daisy blinked. “You sure?”

“Yeah, it’s what I do usually.”

“Do you… use soap?”

Peter sighed. “I can move water with my mind and use it to heal wounds, you think it doesn’t have a ‘wash self’ feature?”

“Hey, it’s a reasonable question.” Daisy shrugged. “Anyway, only if you’re sure. I left some clothes on the bed there. Should fit you?”

Peter looked at the green sweatshirt and grey sweatpants folded on the bed. The vampire grinned encouragingly and gave Daisy a thumbs-up. The student nodded slightly, before closing the door shut.

Peter sighed and conjured some water. Just like he practiced, he washed his face, taking care to make sure the splashing was evenly spread and not in a single direction. He then sucked all the moisture he had splashed around Daisy’s room, and tossed the small ball of water out the window, dissipating it into fog. Peter stuffed himself into the green hoodie. It was… weirdly long on him, actually. His khaki pants were pretty intact, if blackened, thankfully, so he decided not to put on the sweatpants.

“Are you decent, Mr. Pellbrook?”

Peter chuckled and replied, “Yeah, I’m done.”

Hearing that, Daisy stepped out. She had changed into orange and yellow pajama pants. Her face was… still kinda dirty, but most of the soot was gone now. She was tying her hair into a ponytail as she stepped out, looking Peter earnestly in the eye.

“Here, sit on the bed, it’s fine,” Daisy said.

Peter gingerly sat down. Actually, it was quite nice and soft. Daisy sat down opposite him, eyes full of concern.

“I know we don’t know each other but…” Daisy averted her eyes slightly. “Are… are you okay?”

Peter looked down. He hadn’t noticed how tightly he was holding onto Doc’s old sword. The vampire scowled, then met Daisy’s eyes.

“Better than I should be, maybe.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I know,” Peter said, “Honestly, it’s probably his.”

Daisy shuffled uncomfortably in her seat. Peter smiled and shook his head.

“I’m not just lashing out. Given where we found him, he probably caught wind of how shady the place was… for all I know, he accidentally triggered the explosion.”

Daisy nodded. “That… makes sense actually. He was nowhere near the bathroom. Given how the explosion came from the back…”

“He was probably outside,” Peter said, “And his sword is usually well-hidden if he’s not fighting. That means he had it out. He was fighting someone, probably the… whoever those guys were.”

“I thought Dr. McNinja lived near Arcadia for some time now?” Daisy said, “He would’ve known about New Drury Lane.”

Peter looked at her blankly.

“That’s the… That’s where we were.” Daisy shrugged. “It’s a bad part of town. Wouldn’t he have known that? Or no?”

Peter sighed, looking back at Doc’s scabbard. “Actually, with him, it could really either be either. He’s- erm, he was extremely competent in very specific areas, and absolutely useless in the rest.”

Daisy nodded, then looked at Peter again. “I uh… I just… Like I was saying… I’m sorry. I know you were close to him.”

Peter nodded solemnly. “Thanks. I… need to think about what we’re going to do. I’m not a doctor, so…”

“Don’t think about that right now,” Daisy said, shaking her head, “Do you want me to make you some tea or something? Something warm?”

Peter smiled politely. “I’d love some tea, but you don’t need to worry about me. I’m… pretty okay, actually.”

Daisy looked at him oddly. “Really?”

“Yeah. More than anything, I’m curious what you were doing there.” Peter scowled. “And what that explosion was.”

Daisy nodded.

“Right, I can answer the first one, at least. Um… you sure you don’t want tea? This is kind of a long story.”

 

[Dr. McNinja]

The student opened her door to check if anyone was outside. Then, after she closed the blinds to her room, Daisy returned to the bed. Peter was holding two mugs of Earl Grey, one for Daisy while she checked around. Daisy muttered a thanks as she took the mug back and dropped onto the bed, making the mattress bounce a bit. She looked solemnly at Peter.

“Please… don’t tell anyone about this.”

Peter squinted. “I can only promise that if it doesn’t lead to other people getting hurt.”

“Fair.” Daisy inhaled deeply. “And in that case, I’ll take that as a yes. Um… I was there because I was following your John Doe. His real name was Fred Buchanan. He was my uncle.”

Peter blinked rapidly, realizing what Daisy was saying. Daisy… hadn’t lied at all to Dr. McNinja. John Doe really was her uncle. Peter wasn’t the only one who lost family in that explosion.

“I’m so sorry, Daisy, I didn’t know-“

“It’s fine,” Daisy said, shrugging slightly, “I barely knew him. He was… very abusive towards my aunt. They got divorced three years ago. A week ago, he showed up at my aunt’s doorstep again, demanding something… I couldn’t hear exactly, but I assume it was money. He was shouting something about a doctor. So I decided to follow him, just to make sure.”

Daisy inhaled again, coming to terms with what she was saying. “That’s when I found out where he got treated. So I came to you to see what happened. Then… well, I got the file, but I didn’t really get the answers I needed. He didn’t tell you guys anything, huh?”

Peter smirked unconsciously, before returning to his stoic expression. Daisy noticed, and smirked a little herself.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Daisy sighed, “Anyway, I saw him the other day and followed him. I… thought he’d notice me. It’s not like I’m a skilled stalker or whatever. Then I noticed he was going to New Drury Lane. I knew he was up to something. So I slipped into a cocktail bar nearby. I realized… a little late that the shady business my uncle was up to was IN the bar I was hiding out in.”

Peter nodded. “Bad luck.”

“Well, I don’t know,” Daisy said, “I ran into you. And you saved my life.”

Peter exhaled lightly. “Don’t mention it.”

Daisy smiled.

“So um… Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not some criminal mastermind,” Daisy continued, “I was just following my uncle. Which is a little shady, but like I said, it was for a good reason.”

Peter sighed, then leaned back. “Well, I’m sorry for assuming you were a criminal mastermind in the first place.”

Daisy laughed at that. Peter couldn’t help but laugh. He hadn’t even noticed that he had set down Doc’s katana on Daisy’s floor. The young woman gave Peter a warm smile.

“So you’re really okay?”

Peter nodded. “And you?”

“More or less,” Daisy said with a slight shudder, “I’m… still a bit shaken about… what we saw.”

Peter nodded grimly. Now that Daisy mentioned it, he suddenly remembered the smell of scorched flesh again in that burning lounge. Hell, he could taste the metallic texture of the blood that was in the air. He remembered how good it tasted. The vampire involuntarily shuddered as he sipped his tea.

While he was sipping, Peter and Daisy’s phones rang simultaneously. They both looked at them, though Peter was much slower about getting his unlocked. Daisy evidently reached the notification first.

“It’s a report from ENN,” Daisy announced, “Apparently got prioritized because it has a statement from the Arcadian bureaucracy. Hang on…”

Peter could see the light from Daisy’s screen change color as the article loaded. Daisy scowled.

“The Kingdom of Arcadia has published an official statement about the explosion that happened on New Drury Lane at 4:56 PM this afternoon,” Daisy read, “The explosion seems to have originated from an establishment called the Gingerbread Lounge. Though it is unclear exactly what caused the explosion, the police have reported that with further investigation into the Gingerbread Lounge, this seems to be the latest battle in the gang war between an unknown party and the criminal organization known as the… Lollipop Guild.”

Peter raised an eyebrow as Daisy sighed. She continued to read.

“Police are reaching out and asking any bystanders if they have any more information regarding the attack. Updates to come.”

The brunette sighed again as she tossed her phone onto the bed. She eyed it warily, then looked at Peter.

“Maybe… we should have stayed,” Daisy said, “Told the guard what we know.”

Peter flinched. “We don’t know that much. Also, like you said, we don’t look so good in the eyes of the law.”

“We didn’t actually do anything wrong.” Daisy shrugged. “Did we?”

Peter shrugged. “Well, we did run from the scene of the crime. That makes us look… very bad.”

Daisy nodded and put her head in her hands.

“You’re right. Sorry, that was a bad idea,” Daisy sighed, “I just… I wanted to get us out of there. Before anything else exploded. Maybe we could explain…”

“Until they have a strong prime suspect, that’s us,” Peter interjected when Daisy paused, “We were there for a while before the explosion happened, and we don’t… exactly fit in there. They’re going to ask why we were there in the first place. You don’t have a good answer for that, and my answer is dead.”

Plus, once the guard found out that Peter was a vampire, they would be inclined to immediately arrest him. He didn’t say this, of course. Daisy was having a hard enough day.

The girl in question nodded, eyes low with fatigue and sorrow. “That makes sense. So… what do we do?”

Peter opened his mouth to say something, but his words were stuck in his throat. Eventually, they slipped out in little wisps of defeat..

“I…” the vampire sighed deeply, leaning his back against the wall and crossing his muscular legs on the bed. “I don’t know.”

Daisy joined him against the wall. The pair stared pensively at Daisy’s desk across the room. Now that Peter was staring, he noticed that the paper piles seemed to be organized not by significance or relevance, but in chronological order. There was a desk lamp weakly lighting the room flaring a light green shade. Peter narrowed his eyes slightly.

“Why do you use a green lamp?” he asked.

Daisy closed her eyes tiredly and chuckled, hiding her face in her hands.

“It’s, uh…” Daisy hugged her legs, resting her chin on her knees. “An old friend of mine said that the color green reminded him of me.”

Peter didn’t take his eyes off the lamp, enjoying its glow. “What happened to him?”

“Well, he’s still home, I suppose,” Daisy mumbled, then looked at Peter. “I’m… not from the Crossroads.”

Peter nodded in understanding. “So now it’s something to remember him by.”

“Yeah.”

The pair sat silently in the room for a few minutes. Peter felt strangely comfortable. It was the way Daisy was so casual about this relative stranger in her room, let alone her bed. But, Peter supposed, they were a little more than strangers now… more like acquaintances forged in tragedy.

“I…” Daisy inhaled deeply, “...need a drink. You want any?”

Peter grinned politely. “Yes, please.”

“Come on, then.”

 

[Dr. McNinja]

Daisy rose from the bed, grabbing another hoodie from her closet. Peter followed her to the shared kitchen. Peter could see a kitchen island, which was bending under the weight of a clutter of shot glasses, discarded glass bottles of booze, playing cards, multiple wireless speakers and… several unwrapped condoms, all with comically large holes in them. In the back, there was a large stovetop with at least six electric stoves.

It was… dirty here. Peter swore he could see a film of something disgusting over the kitchen island and… actually every surface in this kitchen. Oh Arbiters, it stank of booze, curry and rotting fish. Peter turned his head and immediately spotted the problem. He could only describe it as an inverse trash can - the perishable garbage was so overwhelmingly large in quantity that it wrapped around the bin itself. It slumped over the rim of the bin as if it was some fleshy blob that had been haphazardly thrown over a balcony.

“Sorry, there was a big party here last night,” Daisy said as she reached for one of the cupboards. There were rows of vodka and rum inside, as well as one bottle of whiskey, helpfully labeled “Touch this and I shit in your bed -B”. Daisy had to step on her tiptoes to reach it. She grabbed the whiskey and two plastic cups, closing the cupboard with the bottle itself.

“I think ‘B’ is gonna shit in your bed if we drink that,” Peter snarked.

Daisy grinned tiredly. “It’s fine, she’d be cool with it.”

Peter shrugged as Daisy happily trotted back to her room. He followed her back, mostly grateful to escape the overwhelming stench of the nasty kitchen.

“You cook in there?” Peter mumbled, mostly to himself.

Daisy chuckled. “Yeah, but we usually eat in our rooms. I assume you can see why?”

“You don’t have a janitor or anything?”

“We do,” Daisy sighed as she pressed her keycard on her door, which had locked automatically. “But she stays away from the kitchen. Our fault, mostly. My flatmates throw some crazy parties, and don’t bother cleaning up.”

“Including ‘B’ there?”

“Ugh, she’s the worst about it,” Daisy said as she set the bottle on her desk, “She’s great, though. You’d like her.”

“Uh huh.”

Daisy uncapped the bottle and started pouring two generous servings into the cups. She handed one to Peter, whose eyes were wide with amused shock. The brunette raised her cup up, pursing her lips thoughtfully.

“To never going through that shit again,” she said with an exhausted smile.

Peter couldn’t help but laugh, and tapped his glass against hers. The two of them took big swigs of the whiskey. Peter wasn’t exactly a connoisseur - after all, he spent most of his life being underage in a very strict household with no access to booze - but even he could tell this whiskey was nasty. It went down like an angry cat, and scratched the inside of his throat even more than whiskey normally did. And yet, it somehow also left a slick and sticky film over the inside of his mouth.

“God, that’s shit whiskey,” Daisy rasped, “Sorry. Best booze we got.”

Peter cocked his head to the side amiably. “It’s fine, it’s the ABV that counts.”

Daisy snorted at that. “I’ll drink to that.”

The two clicked cups again, then took another big swig. Peter squeezed his eyes shut as the burning alcohol flared into his nostrils and it settled into his stomach. God, he could FEEL it in his stomach. Daisy sniffed as she also grimaced at the drink. She started giggling at the situation, looking at Peter.

“I thought this was gonna help relax us,” Daisy giggled, “But if I’m being honest, this whiskey is starting to stress me out.”

It was Peter’s turn to snort with laughter. He looked at the drink in his cup.

“Tell you what,” Peter said, staring at it, “Let’s make a game of it. Whoever’s slower to finish has to drink another cup.”

Daisy raised her brow in gentle surprise. “You think you can beat me, skinny boy?”

Peter smiled cockily at her. “Smack talk is usually used to hide fear. Are you afraid, Ms. Buchanan?”

Daisy flinched at the name, but maintained her smile. “How about this, Mr. Pellbrook. Let’s raise the stakes. If I win, you never call me that again.”

“Oh.” Peter shrugged. “I’m willing to do that for free.”

“Ugh, now I have to come up with something else?” Daisy pondered for a moment, then looked back with a faux-sadistic grin. “Okay, when I win, you have to tell me your biggest secret.”

“Well, that’s no fun,” Peter lied, “I don’t have any secrets.”

“Mm, really?” Daisy said, her cheeks already flush, “Then tell me about that water magic of yours.”

Peter blinked, then scowled playfully.

“Alright, you got me. But if I win, you gotta tell me your biggest secret.”

“You already know my biggest secret,” Daisy said, not quite as convincingly as Peter did.

Peter pointed accusingly at Daisy with a shit-eating grin. “I don’t believe that for a second. You’re not even from this world! Who knows what kinda freaky skeletons are in your closet.”

Daisy’s expression fell, her eyebrows raised, unamused. Peter’s heart sank as he realized he may have stepped into unsavory territory, but Daisy exhaled sharply through her nose and nodded.

“Fine, maybe that’s too hard a press,” Daisy snorted, “How about… whoever wins gets to ask any question?”

“Well, what if we get a question we don’t want to answer?”

Daisy thought, then grinned excitedly. “Okay, then you have to drink another glass.”

“So, wait,” Peter rubbed his eyes. “The game is to drink faster… and if you drink faster, you ask the other person a question.”

Daisy nodded. “And if the other person doesn’t want to answer, they take a shot.”

Peter shrugged. “I can work with that.”

The brunette nodded triumphantly. “Whatever, Peter Pellbrook, I’m gonna win anyway. Ready…”

Daisy handed Peter a cup, and the orange-haired vampire smirked. Poor girl wasn’t going to know what hit her.

“Go!”

Daisy threw back the cup, eyes shut as she tried to chug as much of the whiskey as she could. Peter smirked as he did the same. Since his mouth was now being covered by the cup, Peter let his upper fangs come out. The fangs’ natural pores sucked in the whiskey, draining quite a bit of the whiskey supernaturally quickly as he used his throat to chug the rest.

As Peter predicted, it was quite unpleasant to put anything except for blood through his fangs. Ah well. It was worth it to have fun with Daisy. For… some reason.

Oh.

Oh.

Peter grimaced hard as he felt the alcohol squeezing through tubes that were only meant to accept blood. The rough liquid clawed at the inside of Peter’s cheeks as it coursed through his body. Peter swallowed hard, wincing as he did. It was as if he had breathed in whiskey and made it go down the wrong hole. Oh yeah, that’s EXACTLY what he was doing.

Nevertheless, Peter slammed his cup down on the table as gently as he could, grinning evilly at Daisy. Daisy eyed him mournfully as she took another two seconds to finish her cup.

“Gagh,” Daisy gasped, “How the - urgh - how the hell did you drink that so fast?”

“Pure skills,” Peter said smugly.

“Ugh, I thought I had this in the bag.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Why’s that?”

“Oh, no reason,” Daisy said, lowering her face sensually, “It’s just because… I don’t have a gag reflex.”

Peter raised an eyebrow. “…okay?”

Daisy blinked, stunned at Peter’s reaction. Then she rolled her eyes as she poured herself and Peter another drink.

“Ugh, these lines are wasted on you,” Daisy grumbled, “Alright, what’s your question?”

Peter looked up thoughtfully, before looking back at Daisy with a curious smile.

“Why don’t you like being called Buchanan?”

Daisy rolled her eyes. “Wow, starting with a real downer question.”

“Sorry, it’s just on my mind.”

Daisy looked at the inside of her glass.

“Yeah, I’m gonna drink this one, actually.”

Peter clapped triumphantly as Daisy swept her hair back, downing a shot.

“Ugh,” Daisy said, her face twisted beyond recognition, “That is so much liquor at once.”

“Well, maybe win next time.”

“Fuck you,” Daisy smirked, “Alright, round two.”

 

[Dr. McNinja]

Daisy was truly unwise to participate in a drinking game with a member of a species famous for their liquid diets. Peter was guzzling booze faster than was technically possible for a human, and no matter how hard Daisy tried, she just couldn’t beat Peter. It was to the point where Daisy wanted to check the inside of his mouth to see if he was cheating. She drunkenly offered to do it with her tongue, which Peter declined, noting that this was an inefficient way of searching. Truth be told, Peter knew that Daisy would immediately note the sharp fangs receding into the roof of his mouth, so thankfully, Daisy dropped the idea.

In the process, Peter got to learn more about Daisy. She was always into sports, but her favorite thing to do was go on joy-rides. Apparently, the last time she drove, she got into a big crash. She hated swimming in pools, but loved the ocean. She was studying magical botany in Arcadia University, and was planning to specialize in growing plants harvested from other worlds.

Peter let Daisy win some rounds, of course. Well, he’d say that, but sometimes the pain of drinking whiskey down the wrong pipe was just too painful, so he had to concede. Daisy milked these victories for what they were worth.

They were now back in Daisy’s room, swaying side-to-side on the bed in a dizzy haze.

“Hm,” Daisy cooed, her voice breathy with inebriation, “Okay, tell me about your family.”

Peter’s face darkened. Daisy seemed to notice, and she licked her lips worriedly. Peter smiled sadly.

“Okay,” Peter said, inhaling deeply, “I… used to live with my mother. I have three brothers and a baby sister.”

Daisy nodded. “Dad not in the picture?”

“No,” Peter sighed, “He… passed away when I was young.”

Daisy winced. “I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks.” Peter swallowed before continuing. “My family is the latest in a long line of hydromancers. Bloodline magic and all that.”

Daisy’s eyes widened. “Cool.”

Peter grinned. “I guess it kinda is. We mostly used it to farm, but yeah, it’s.. neat.”

Daisy nodded encouragingly. Peter sighed again.

“We are… no longer on speaking terms.” Peter licked his lips, which were drier than he would’ve thought. “I left home a couple months ago. On not very good terms.”

Peter crossed his arms, eyes tearing up as he looked to the side. “I hurt them. It was an accident, but still. I hurt them… badly.”

“What’d you do?”

Peter rubbed the back of his neck for a second in hesitation. Then, after some thought, he met Daisy’s gaze with a cheeky grin.

“Mm, that sounds like a second question, miss.”

Daisy rolled her eyes. “Ugh, fine. But you’re not done telling me about your family. Come on, man, I need some details!”

Peter sighed. “My mother is… a very strict woman. Quick to anger, slow to reason. She loves us fiercely - and I mean that sincerely.”

Daisy leaned forward, smiling contentedly. Peter’s eyes softened as he thought about his brothers.

“My oldest brother, Aldrich - he’s a real stick in the mud. Lot like my mother, actually. But he’s a good guy. My two younger brothers are twins, Garrick and Oswin. Real different boys, actually. Garrick’s… an idiot.”

Peter chuckled nostalgically, his finger tracing over the rim of his glass.

“He was sleeping during the day. Aldrich would just punch him while he was sleeping, and he’d just sleep right through it. No reaction. But then you touch the door and he was up and screaming.

“Then there’s Oswin. He’s real quiet. Little weird. My brothers were convinced he was possessed by a demon or something. I dunno. They were scared of him, but he’s a good kid.”

Daisy grinned at Peter’s reactions. “And your sister?”

“Ugh, Blythe,” Peter said with a warm smile, “She was the princess. Uh, the Pellbrook women were always the strongest mages, so we were sort of the… undesirable boys? So when Blythe was born, she was immediately like… some gift from the Arbiters.”

Daisy frowned. “That must have been rough.”

Peter shook his head. “Would’ve been if she wasn’t the sweetest little girl in the world. Garrick took it pretty tough, I think.”

Daisy tipped her head. “You miss them?”

Peter’s face fell and his eyes refocused into the present. He cleared his throat and scratched at his arm. “Well, it is what it is. Next round?”

Peter won the next round, to Daisy’s exhausted dismay. The young vampire cocked his head to the side.

“Your turn,” Peter said, “Tell me about your family.”

Daisy looked at him thoughtfully, then wiped her hands on her sweatpants.

“Fine, that seems fair,” Daisy sighed, “Uh… my dad was in the military. He was a… pretty important guy, I’d say.”

“This is your dad from your original world?”

“Right,” Daisy smirked, “He died when I was young, too.”

Peter lowered his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Oof, that’s not the worst of it,” Daisy chuckled bitterly, “My mother left shortly after I was born, so I don’t even know what she looks like. I was basically raised by, erm, my butler.”

Peter blinked rapidly. “Butler?”

“Yeah,” Daisy said, looking sheepishly at Peter, “I was uh… pretty rich. Back home, I mean.”

Peter stared at her, stunned. “Why are you hanging out with a hick like me?”

“Hey, don’t say that!” Daisy laughed in embarrassment, “You’re not a hick. I never wanted the money, or my father’s status.”

Daisy looked sadly into her glass. “I spent most of my time wasting away, playing sports with foreigners to distract myself. People around me were always trying to decide who I should be, and what I should do. Worst of all, there was this friend I had, and… She was prettier, more popular, had this superstar boyfriend… I felt like I was getting her leftovers a lot of the time. If anything, I feel like I found myself when all of that baggage was taken away from me.”

Peter nodded. “Like a clean slate.”

“Exactly,” Daisy said, smiling warmly.

The two stared at each other for a moment before they averted their gazes shyly. Daisy gripped the bottle and raised it.

“Alright, next round!”

***

The bottle, which was once mostly full, rolled along the floor, having been accidentally kicked by an absolutely wasted Peter Pellbrook. Peter and Daisy laughed incessantly, showing no signs of stopping. Daisy nearly struck her head against the wall in her fit, which did nothing to alleviate the laughter.

But soon, Daisy took the very last sip of whiskey available to them. Peter had finished his drink long ago, but even he was barely paying attention to the game.

“Tell me about the green lamp friend.”

Daisy’s head cocked to the side as she frowned.

“Mm. I don’ wanna.”

Peter blew a raspberry, to Daisy’s delight.

“Then you- then you- then- then you-“

Daisy snorted as Peter tried to think of the word “need”. She tipped over, practically horizontal, before leaning forward, resting her chin on Peter’s shoulder. Daisy smiled warmly, watching the green lamp wistfully. Tears filled her vision, but the woman continued to smile. Man, she was drunk.

“Hey, Peter,” Daisy said as Peter left, “Put your number in my phone. We sshhould… We should do this again sssome time.”

Peter frowned, the implications of what Daisy was asking for lost on the poor boy.

“...alright?”

Peter took Daisy’s phone and punched his number in, and pressed the call button. His phone rang, and Peter confirmed Daisy’s number before returning the phone to Daisy. Daisy stared at him, taken aback.

“And mmmaybe…” Daisy said, “Weee could get dinner?”

“It’s late. Are… are you hungry?” Peter blinked.

Daisy looked hurt for a second, then grinned mischievously. “Ughhhhhhh, you’re dumb. You’re soooo pretty and sooooo dumb.”

It was Peter’s turn to be taken aback. “I- what? What’d I do?”

“I’m asking. You.” Daisy pressed her finger hard into Peter’s chest. “On a date, Peter Pellbrook.”

Peter snapped to attention, the alcohol seemingly purging from his head and flooding the rest of his body as his mind started ringing every alarm it had.

“Oh,” he managed to say.

Daisy looked at him expectantly. “Well? Date? Yes~?”

Peter stammered, causing Daisy’s to expression to fall a little.

“If not, s’cool, s’cool, s’cool, s’all cool-“

“No, no, um…” Peter swallowed, “I’m… drunk. I’m pretty sure you’re drunk, too.”

“‘Mnot drunk.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Noooo ‘mnot.”

“Yes, you are,” Peter repeated, “We’re very drunk.”

“Hmm,” Daisy cooed, giggling slightly, “You’re really pretty.”

“Mm,” Peter reacted, looking away with an embarrassed reaction. Daisy giggled harder, pulling Peter’s face back into place.

“And we’re going on a date,” Daisy insisted.

Peter giggled, shrugging. God, he wanted to say yes.

“Yes, we are,” Daisy repeated, holding Peter by his shirt. She pressed her nose against Peter’s, clumsily rubbing foreheads with him. His skin felt so cool on her blistering face.

“I, uh…” Peter cleared his throat, eyes closed. “I dunno…”

Daisy looked at him, chin lowered. Peter noticed she wasn’t talking and opened his eyes to look at her.

“Am I not pretty?”

Peter threw his head back and laughed, and his orange hair rustled in the movement. Daisy pouted as he did, making him laugh even harder.

“‘M not being funny,” Daisy muttered.

Peter shook his head, stifling his laughter. “No, it’s just- you’re so pretty. You’re pretty.”

Daisy smiled, leaning in again. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m pretty?”

“Yeah,” Peter grinned against her lips, “Arbi- Arbibbers, you’re so pretty. I want to-“

Peter stopped himself, turning away again. Daisy gripped his face again, grinning with her eyes lowered. Her gaze was plastered to his lips.

Peter shook his head. “No, never mind, I’m not gonna-“

“Say it.”

“I’m just- I didn’t-“

“No, say it. Say it.”

Peter’s mouth was brushing against Daisy’s. He was in trouble.

“I want to kiss you,” Peter said against Daisy’s lips.

Daisy giggled. She was almost getting ticklish from the sensation. “Then kiss me, pretty boy.”

That was it. Peter’s tongue flickered out of his mouth, licking Daisy’s mouth slightly. Daisy frowned in delighted surprise. She closed in to meet Peter’s kiss.

Peter was struck with the impossibility of his heart beating faster, too fast even for a living person. Peter felt Daisy’s lips slide open, and her tongue asked for entry into Peter’s mouth. Peter met it with his own tongue, and Daisy suckled on it slightly. Her hands were suddenly roaming all over his chest, and Peter raised his own hand to stroke behind Daisy’s ear, prompting her to gasp in delight. Even that brief respite was too long for Peter, and he hungrily leaned forward, searching for Daisy.

He wanted her so bad.

He wanted to taste her.

Peter felt his fangs snap out of his cheeks. It was so sudden and sharp that he nearly punctured his own tongue. Peter abruptly snapped his head back, covering his mouth. Daisy jumped as well, her face lowered in alarm. She didn’t seem to notice the fangs, only looking worriedly at Peter.

“I’m…” Peter gasped for air, “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

Daisy studied his face, her eyes full of hurt. Her mouth searched for the right words to say. Peter shifted his stance, and his foot bumped against Dr. McNinja’s sword.

“I uh…” Peter stood up, grabbing the sword as he did. “I uh…”

Daisy nodded, eyes looking away. “Sure, right.”

Peter also nodded. Neither of them were clear on what the current subject of conversation was.

Peter squirmed uneasily. “Did I hurt you?”

Daisy recoiled in surprise. “I… what?”

“Did I…” Peter rubbed the back of his neck, pain sprawled across his face. “Did I hurt you-“

“No,” Daisy interrupted, trying to steady herself, “It was… nice.”

Peter swallowed hard. His eyes were starting to hyperfocus; he could feel his irises narrow. His fangs ached for moisture, no matter how much Peter licked them. He could’ve sworn he was hearing Daisy’s pulse.

“Um…” Peter said, rubbing his eyes, “Sorry, I’m really drunk right now. I… can I call you tomorrow? I… I need to go.”

Before Daisy could respond, Peter slipped out her door. When Daisy stumbled to the door and threw it open, she found there was nobody there.

 

[Dr. McNinja]

[DAISY’S ROOM, THE NEXT MORNING]

“What, and then he just left?”

Daisy screamed again into her folded towel, regretting it instantly. Thankfully, it was muffled considerably, lest her flatmate suffer from Daisy’s volume. Not that the flatmate would mind; Daisy and her flatmate were from the same homeworld, and such acquaintances had an indescribable bond of sisterhood. And while they weren’t from the same kingdom, Birdo and Princess Daisy had often played various sports with their mutual friends from the Mushroom Kingdom. Birdo was thankful for meeting Daisy in the Crossroads. As a pink dinosaur with a giant megaphone mouth, Birdo was used to being the strangest thing in town, but it was always more bearable with a familiar face.

Usually.

Birdo sighed as she wisely held back Princess Daisy’s hair once more. Daisy keeled over, gripping the seat of her toilet as she once again ejected yesterday’s debacle.

Daisy groaned as slop dripped out of her mouth, and Birdo offered her another cup of tap water. Daisy accepted it wordlessly, swishing the water in her mouth before spitting out the rest of her vomit. She looked up at Birdo dizzily.

“Thanks so much for this, B,” Daisy groaned.

“You know I’m here for you, bitch,” Birdo cooed, “But to be honest, I’m worried for you.”

Daisy peered sadly into the toilet bowl before flushing it. “Tell me about it.”

“No, seriously.” Birdo leaned in. “This Peter guy sounds like a real douchebag. At the very least an incel.”

Daisy gave her a disapproving glance.

“I’m serious, Daize! First of all, he’s the edgy type. Never go out with the edgy types.”

“He’s not edgy,” Daisy sighed.

“And that’s not mentioning all the red flags! Guy gets you SUPER drunk, probably cheating with his magic or whatever to make you lose on purpose. Red flag one. Kisses you, then fucking dips because he’s freaking out that he touched a girl? Red flag two.”

Birdo poked Daisy’s shoulder with three fingers. “Red flag three, his boss is- was a trained assassin that was involved in a terrorist attack, and it sounds like the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.”

“His boss was a doctor,” Daisy corrected, “He didn’t seem like the type to do violence for money.”

“Oh great, he was a murderer for aesthetic reasons,” Birdo snapped, “That makes him less of a psycho??”

Daisy shook her head, getting up from the foul-smelling toilet to move towards her bed. “Again, he was a doctor. He was in the business of saving lives, not taking them. And neither’s Peter! He was just really concerned that I was some master criminal or something ‘cause I took that file. Wanted to take something else of his, if you know what I-”

Birdo snickered. “Yes, I know what you mean, Daisy. I always know what you mean.”

“Peter didn’t,” Daisy said with a wistful smile, “He didn’t notice any of my innuendos. It was adorable.”

“Daisy.”

“He’d get this blank look and-“

“Daisy.”

“He’d be all ‘That’s not an efficient way of searching-‘“

“Focus, Daisy.”

Daisy cleared her throat. “Fine. What?”

“Daize! You’re horny for a terrorist! That’s what!”

“Hey, now that’s flatly untrue!” Daisy snapped, spinning in place. She immediately grappled her temples in pain, teeth bared in a regretful cringe. “What I’m trying to say is that he definitely wasn’t the one who blew up the building. He saved my life, if anything. He just… grabbed onto me and shielded me from the fire with his own body. No regard for his own safety.”

Birdo blinked. “Okay, that’d be romantic if he wasn’t the reason the place blew up.”

“And he’s not!” Daisy refuted, “So it was romantic. Borderline corny!”

Birdo sighed exhaustedly. “What about the way he refused to talk to the guard about all this? That’s some shady shit, Daize!”

“So he’s a bad boy. So what?”

“That’s not a bad boy,” Birdo snapped, “That’s a fucking FELON.”

It was Daisy’s turn to roll her eyes. “He’s not a felon. You’d know if you talked to him. He’s a huge dweebus, is what he is.”

“Dweebus?”

“Shut up, I’m hungover. My point is, you really got the wrong idea on Peter. And that McNinja guy, for a matter of fact. They’re superhero types. You and I both know a thing or two about that type of guy, don’t we?”

Birdo rolled her eyes. “This isn’t what I meant when I said you should move on from Luigi.”

“He’s not Luigi,” Daisy said, her expression suddenly foul. She turned off her green lamp.

“Sorry, I know I’m being mean,” Birdo sighed, “But you need to hear it. I know how Luigi made you feel. Even though the whole felony thing is inexplicably not a concern for you, you also need to recognize that this is your first time since you got here that you’re talking to someone. I mean in a romantic-“

“No, I know what you’re trying to say.”

“Okay.” Birdo sighed as she rubbed Daisy’s back warmly. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know.”

“No matter how cute the guy is.”

Daisy playfully glared at Birdo. “B, that’s not the only reason I’m into him.”

“Given that he’s an edgelord terrorist, that makes me MORE worried.”

“Shut up.”

“How cute is he, anyway? You got pics?”

“No,” Daisy lied.

Birdo raised a brow and extended her hand. Daisy rolled her eyes and unlocked her phone, showing Birdo the drunken selfie that she and Peter took the night before.

Birdo raised another brow, this time more appreciatively.

“Oh, damn,” Birdo said, “Okay, you know, I sorta get it now.”

“Shut up.”

“Like, damn. Those cheekbones. I’d like to rub those against my-“

“Birdo.”

“Whatever, I’m not stealing your psycho,” the dinosaur chuckled, “God knows I’ve got plenty psychos of my own. No matter how hot your psycho is.”

“Peter’s not a psycho,” Daisy sighed, “He’s a sweetheart. He’s so nervous about accidentally saying the wrong thing, but he has all this horny energy that he just can’t get rid of, which is so hot. He was all ‘no, no, I’m not gonna go on a date with you’ but he kept leaning in and then he just… kissed me. UGGHHHH IT WAS SO HOT”

Birdo frowned. “God, maybe you’re the red flag.”

Daisy burst out laughing, lightly punching her grinning friend in the shoulder. “Shut the hell up, B.”

Birdo paused, rubbing Daisy’s back. “Are you sure you’re okay, by the way? Seems like we should be talking more about that rather than… you know, boys.”

Daisy’s expression fell as she nodded. “I’m fine. I guess… the night with Peter really did make me forget how… oh God…”

Daisy inhaled through her teeth. She could smell the burning from last night again. It crept in through her nose like bugs, and wouldn’t leave.

Her phone played a text ringtone.

Her phone.

At the same moment Daisy shot her hand for the phone, Birdo frowned at it. Her mouth launched an egg into the bed, knocking the princess back on to the bed. Daisy cringed at her body’s sudden change in momentum while Birdo hopped onto her feet (a movement which, in itself, made Daisy want to dry-heave again). Daisy gripped her pillow, swinging it hard at Birdo’s face, but missing. Birdo raised Daisy’s phone behind her while guarding herself from Daisy’s fierce pillow attacks. Birdo read the phone quickly.

The pink reptile’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, it’s Peter.”

“Give me the phone Birdo!”

“Shut up, shut up, let me read!”

Daisy stopped swinging, her chestnut hair an angry cloud of frizzled entanglements. She breathed in and out heavily, glaring at Birdo.

“Okay, okay, uh… ‘Hello, Daisy. I hope this text message reaches you well.’ God, what a dork.”

“Keep reading!”

“Yeah, yeah… Uh… dut dut dut, right. ‘I hope this text message reaches you well. I regret my actions from the night before, specifically leaving from your place of residence without properly-’ What is this guy, from the 15th century?”

“KEEP READING!”

“Jesus, cool your tits. Uh… Okay, so basically he’s sorry he left you without saying anything-“

Daisy nodded with a vindicated expression, pillow swinging by her shoulder. “Damn right.”

“-and wants to have lunch with you some time this week.”

“Really?!” Daisy yelped with delight.

“Yeah, fourth line down. ‘I was hoping to ask if you would accompany me to a luncheon this week. I would like to apologize for my inexcusable behavior in-person and-‘ Listen, I’m just gonna tell him no.”

“BIRDO I SWEAR TO GOD”

“What, like you’re gonna say yes?!”

“YES! GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK”

Daisy swung her pillow at Birdo’s head, knocking down a box from her cupboard. Both girls jumped back, as they knew the contents could be quite dangerous if disturbed. Fortunately, there was no reaction.

“Jesus, Daize, careful!” Birdo snapped, this time quite annoyed, “You shouldn’t keep your fucking illegal stash of Power-Ups up there anyway!”

Daisy apologetically straightened the box, looking inside to check its contents. She shuffled through the magical plants from her homeworld, checking to make sure none of them were damaged-

“Birdo.”

Birdo looked at her flatmate, worried. “Why, something broken?”

Daisy shook her head, her face suddenly very serious. Birdo was beginning to get nervous.

“…what’s wrong?”

“The Fire Flower’s gone.”

Birdo blinked twice, then gasped, covering her mouth. “Wait, you don’t think…”

Daisy looked her friend very seriously in the eye.

“Birdo,” she said, “Give me my phone back.”

 

[Dr. McNinja]

Peter Pellbrook exited Doc’s basement as he sent the text message. He was covered head-to-toe in a poncho, and was now more comfortably protected from the sun. He would have liked to stay in Doc’s office proper, but unfortunately, that just wasn’t an option.

It seemed that the guards had caught wind that Dr. McNinja and his protege were involved in the attack in the Gingerbread Lounge. They were swarming the grounds, and had cordoned off the building. It was luckily still dawn when Peter snuck in, and his vampire biology lended well to him sneaking into places. Unfortunately, the sun was starting to rise, so the same tricks would no longer help him.

Peter heard a guard yelp upstairs as he was caught in the Foam Trap. Solid rubber-like foam started to expand endlessly, making the concrete floor above Peter whine under the pressure. Nobody seemed to notice the traps in the staircase, let alone the whole basement. Peter silently thanked Doc’s paranoia.

There was actually a lot about yesterday’s attack that didn’t add up. He’d seen Doc in action. He was a regular human that went toe-to-toe with a vampire that didn’t have any weaknesses.*

*[EN: McNinja fans, Dr. McNinja fought a sorcerer enhanced with the powers of a vampire in “Blood and Water”!]

Given how skilled the physician was, Peter was finding it difficult to believe that Doc couldn’t somehow survive that explosion. After all, Doc was the one who taught Peter about the Turn-Away-From-Explosions trick.

But then there was the skeleton. No matter how fast Doc was, there was no way he could have located and retrieved a charred skeleton and set up the outfit in time for that corpse to have been faked.

Peter lowered his gaze. His best friend was brutally murdered, and he was more interested in getting in Daisy’s pants.

Focus, Peter. No time to wallow. Apologize to Daisy, then get on the run. Thankfully, he had now fed, and he packed his duffel bags with enough blood bags to last him a couple months. He’d have to figure out some other way to peacefully extract blood; worse comes to worst, he could just find a cow or something. It was the equivalent of a human eating bugs to survive, but hey, when you get desperate…

“Hey, you hear about that Punisher guy?”

Peter flinched then paused his breathing, listening closely to the conversation happening outside. The guard outside snickered.

“The dude hunting the Lollipop Guild? Yeah, I heard about him.”

“I wonder why he’s so far up their ass,” the guard sighed, “Making things harder for all of us.”

“Eh, I think it’s nice. Some of those thugs are freakishly strong. They say Jonesy got his back broken by a troll with a candy cane.”

“Last time, you said Jonesy got his back broken by getting hit by a Hot Wheels gang member on a hellcycle.”

“Whatever, man, point is, I don’t wanna mess with them. Do you?”

“No.”

“Well, there we go.”

“I feel like we should be doing something, though.” The guard sighed again. “You heard who he’s after next, right?”

“Some professor at Arcadia University. Carlisle or something. Beats me why.”

“You think he’s a Lollipopper?”

“They’re a gang, not supervillains.”

“You know who is, though? That Punisher guy.”

“For sure. Burning people alive… what a freak.”

“Tell me about it.”

Peter stopped listening. What now? Peter was crouched in the secret stairway that led out from the basement, but the secret entrance was swarmed with no less than three cops. It was now 6:09 AM, meaning the sun was well on its trek through the sky. Peter’s power would be neutralized, and he was never that good at combat hydromancy - certainly not good enough to tangle with magekillers like the Imperial Guard.

He’d have to wait for Doc’s traps to distract the guard enough. The secret entrance was a single narrow tunnel with nothing but doors on each end of it. There was no place to hide here, and when the door opened, the sunlight coming through was going to make whatever vampiric tricks he could use very painful-

“TSAAAH, PUSH IT! PUSH IT REAL GOOD”

Peter fumbled with his phone as it played his obnoxious ringtone (Doc set it, and Peter couldn’t figure out how to change it). He dropped it on the concrete floor, then scrambled to pick it up and squeeze the button on the side hard enough for it to make an unhappy cracking noise. Thankfully, this stopped the honk-like horns of the ringtone.

“Hey, you hear that?” a voice said from outside.

Too little, too late. Peter looked back and forth, searching for a way out. If he were to be caught by the guard, he’d be arrested for sure. Hell, Peter would arrest Peter in this situation. Sneaking past the guard in a suspect’s home while it was being searched? Oh, and you’re a vampire? Someone get the clerics, some garlic and a bottle of wine.

Okay, coming clean was not an option. Move back into the house? Where the guard were? Well, thankfully, Peter knew where all the traps were. If he was going to knowingly enter a confrontation, he’d rather it be in the extremely trapped rooms of Doc’s clinic.

It looked like the guards outside couldn’t find a way into the secret entrance. They were shuffling around, looking for the source of the strange sound. Maybe, as long as Peter was really silent-

“SALT-N-PEPA’S HERE-“

Peter turned off the phone again. Who the fuck kept calling him? And why the hell didn’t he put this thing on mute?

“I think it’s coming from here!” the voice outside shouted.

Yep, okay, go back in, secret exit is compromised-

“Hey, you guys see this? I think there’s a way out from here!”

Peter stopped in his tracks. He was stuck now, and both his exits were cut off. How the hell was he going to-

Oh, yeah!

Outside the clinic, the guards pried open the door with great difficulty. It was expertly hidden by a panel of fake grass, which looked and felt just like normal grass. Of course, they were so excited by this discovery that they failed to notice the wires it was attached to one of Doc’s most devastating traps - a stink bomb.

“OH FOR FUCKING AARRGLHAA”

The scream came from outside as a cloud of borderline toxic fluids vaporized into the air, spraying viciously into the eyes and nostrils of the poor guards. They gagged and coughed at the smell - which Peter was assured was similar to rotten eggs which had somehow developed a yeast infection and halitosis - and started throwing up almost immediately.

There was a second advantage to this sudden spray of horrifyingly stinky gas. Peter grit his teeth and prepared to face the sun as he started sprinting forward. He had trouble explaining to Doc how his vampire powers worked. Most of them seemed so instinctive, it was like explaining how to breathe. So it was with his ability to turn into mist. He willed himself into vapor, and his entire body puffed into mist and started flowing forward at unnatural speeds.

The stink bomb gave him the perfect cover. Not only would the guards be unwilling to open their eyes in this situation, the already overwhelming fog of vile smell was indistinguishable from Peter’s mist form. Well, they were different colors, but these guards weren’t expecting anyone to enter a mist form anyways - they’d likely overlook the color difference as long as Peter stayed within the stink cloud. And while the guards entered the tunnel, Peter could exit the mist form and sprint away.

There was a problem of course. In his mist form, Peter was completely uncovered from the sun. He had his runic protections from the sun, but that was practically just magical sunscreen, not complete protection. So he’d have to sit in the sun, lightly burning alive, waiting for the guards to be distracted by… something.

The guards retreated, one of them rubbing his eyes - a bad decision, really. The abrasive particles rubbed deeper into his eyes, causing the guard to scream holy murder. Well, maybe this was good enough to just leave right away.

Peter rushed forward, the chill of his mist form causing the two guards to shiver. He surged towards the woods as fast as he could, turning back into his humanoid form halfway to run faster (and have clothes on again).

“TSAAAAAH, PUSH IT-“

Ugh. Well, now he could answer at least, as long as he moved deeper into the woods. But who the hell kept calling-

Daisy?

Peter picked up the phone, looking behind him to ensure the guards were still too distracted by the stink bomb.

“Daisy?”

“Peter, I need to talk to you,” Daisy said, her tone panicked.

“I- this isn’t the best time,” Peter hissed, “Is everything okay?”

“No,” Daisy replied, “But you’re right. This isn’t the sort of thing we should say over the phone. Can you meet me at Dr. Mc- erm, at the clinic?”

“Uh…” Peter said between grit teeth, “That’s not an option, unfortunately.”

“Please. It’s important.”

Peter squinted his eyes.

“Uh… does it have to be the clinic?” Peter whispered, moving through the woods, “Maybe I can buy you lunch.”

Daisy sighed, then said, “No, I need... Can you come back to my room?”

This isn’t what Peter expected when he offered to take Daisy to lunch, but Peter nodded. That is, until he realized that Daisy couldn’t see him nodding over the phone.

“Uh, I mean, yeah. Sure. I can be there in an hour.”

“Thank you. See you there.”

The guards were starting to recover, swearing loudly. Peter hissed as he moved deeper into the woods. He’d have to figure out how to get to Arcadia in an hour now.

***

Peter knocked on Daisy’s door. The door swung open, but instead of Daisy’s face, Peter was met with a human-sized pink dinosaur with a large gaping tuba-like mouth that seemed to stretch forever into an empty void. The dinosaur had a large red ribbon tucked behind its bulbous yet flirty eyes, as if to achieve some sense of normal appearance. It wasn’t working.

Peter gulped. “Uh… looking for Daisy?”

“Come in,” the dinosaur said with surprisingly coherent English.

Daisy waved awkwardly at Peter as he stepped into the room. The dinosaur closed the door behind Peter, who was beginning to grow increasingly aware of the athletic gear newly scattered on Daisy’s floor. Peter looked at Daisy, who was covering her mouth with worry. Maybe Peter had indeed bit Daisy that night.

Shit. They knew.

This was a trap.

“Who’s this?” Peter asked Daisy.

“I’m Birdo,” the dinosaur replied, “I’m Daisy’s flatmate. We come from the same world.”

Peter blinked for a second before giving Birdo a sheepish grin.

“You must be B. Sorry for drinking all your whiskey,” he quipped, “I’m, uh, noticing a distinct lack of shit on Daisy’s bed.”

Birdo’s mouth was incapable of smiling, but Peter could tell she was grinning nonetheless. “Well, I very well can’t shit on her bed while she’s in the room, can I?”

“I’m glad you guys are getting along, but we do need to focus,” Daisy interrupted.

Birdo nodded, eyeing Peter hungrily. Wait, was this Birdo gonna try and eat Peter? Was this some special vampire-killing dinosaur? Maybe it had wooden stake-like teeth on the inside of its mouth.

“Before we get started,” Peter said, desperately trying to buy time to make a plan, “do you mind if I-“

Daisy moved too quickly, opening a metallic box that Peter hadn’t noticed before. It was old, its once-yellow surface faded into a warm brown. Peter frowned upon realizing the strange engraving on the side in the shape of a question mark.

Daisy threw open the lid and pointed at the contents.

“Did Dr. McNinja steal my shit?” Daisy snapped, fuming.

Peter blinked rapidly. He turned around to look at Birdo, whose mouth was quivering with tension. Very little about this encounter was going the way he expected.

Peter shrugged. “I… don’t know why he would.”

Daisy glared at him. She reached in, pulling out a strange blue flower. It looked like someone had flattened a blue tulip with a hot iron and then placed two black jelly beans in the center. Birdo flinched behind Peter at the sight, but Peter stared at it, completely confused.

“I’m not playing around,” Daisy said, pointing the flower at Peter.

Peter stepped back slightly. “I… what is that? Some sort of weird venus flytrap or something?”

Daisy waved the flower around, and some sort of mist started spilling out of it. Peter looked around at Daisy and Birdo, bewildered.

“The Fire Flower. Where is it?”

“The what flower?” Peter said, panicked, “What the hell is that thing?”

“You really don’t know?”

“KNOW WHAT” Peter yelled, his eyes starting to narrow from the rising adrenaline.

Birdo blinked. “He… really doesn’t know.”

Daisy nodded, putting the flower back in the box. “Yeah.”

Peter looked at the two of them, thoroughly freaked out.

“Alright, now what the fuck was all of that?”

Daisy looked at him, amused. “Did you just swear, country boy?”

“Feels justified,” Peter said, lifting his hands. They promptly became wrapped in humidity, forming warbling bubbles of water that swirled around his fingers. “And don’t change the subject.”

Birdo reeled her head back, and Peter lifted his guard against the dinosaur. He needed to minimize his vampire abilities, so hopefully this thing was just a dinosaur and-

A giant egg popped out of Birdo’s mouth, hurtling towards Peter at alarmingly high speeds.

Before Peter could react, Daisy knocked it out of the air with a baseball bat. The student was poised between Peter and Birdo, hands raised against both people.

“Both of you, stop it!” Daisy said, “This is clearly a misunderstanding. Peter, I’m sorry for not trusting you. I’ll explain everything. And Birdo, given the way we treated him, it’d be weirder if he wasn’t freaking out.”

Birdo scowled at Peter, then rolled her cartoonishly large eyes. Peter, however, didn’t lower his guard.

“You’re lucky you’re pretty,” Birdo grumbled.

“People keep calling me that,” Peter snarled, “I’d rather hear about what the hell is going on.”

Daisy pointed at her box full of flowers. “It’s about those. They’re… weapons. From my homeworld.”

Peter blinked. “The. Flowers.”

“Yes.” Daisy sighed, then picked up the blue flower from earlier. “This is an Ice Flower. It can… well…”

Daisy pointed the Ice Flower at the egg that she had swatted aside earlier, then squeezed the flower. A glob of frosty mist shot out of the flower, covering Daisy in it. The room seemed to drop several degrees in temperature, subconsciously causing Peter to want to shiver. Daisy’s hair started forming icicles, and the yellow jumpsuit she was wearing turned a shade of light cyan. Peter thought he heard xylophones playing somewhere.

Then, before Peter could comment on the transformation, Daisy swung her hand as if to throw something. In a burst of frost, a ball of ice launched from her palm towards the giant egg. Upon contact, it exploded into icicles and mist, sending a shockwave of cold air towards Peter. Within an instant, the egg was surrounded by harsh crystals of solid ice, crackling as it settled into place.

Peter blinked rapidly, looking at the tiny glacier Daisy had just formed on top of her bed. He looked at Daisy.

“You were gonna do that to me.”

“Well, we thought you had stolen one of the flowers,” Daisy sighed, “You understand our… concern, I hope.”

Peter eyed the crystallized egg, which was still forming. The ice crawled across Daisy’s sheets, until Daisy squeezed her hand again, seemingly releasing the egg from its curse. The ice shattered and sprinkled into snowflakes, which promptly melted into the air.

“So you have,” Peter stammered, “You have. Superpower. Flowers.”

“And mushrooms.”

“Super mushrooms.”

“Yep.”

Peter blinked again, scratching the back of his neck. He looked at the egg on Daisy’s bed. “Okay. Um, are you spitting those out of your mouth somehow?”

Birdo grunted and crossed her arms. “That’s really neither here nor there.”

“You were going to hit me with it,” Peter mumbled, “Feels like it’s a valid subject of discussion.”

“Let’s please focus,” Daisy said. “Like I said, I’m studying extradimensional botany. What I didn’t tell you is that I’m trying to grow these Power-Ups from my homeworld. We had these two plumbers back home that put these to great use.”

“Plumbers?”

“They were heroes,” Birdo said, “Which the Crossroads isn’t exactly in shortage of, but Daisy figured they could use the help.”

“Your heroes were plumbers.”

“And yours was a doctor,” Birdo snapped, “What’s your point?”

“Birdo,” Daisy chided, noticing Peter’s darkening expression.

Peter sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“This is a lot, but uh… okay. You mentioned something was stolen? Is it one of these Power-Ups?”

Daisy nodded. “The Fire Flower is missing. It’s, well, you can guess what it does.”

Peter thought back to the Gingerbread Lounge.

“Could it…” Peter’s jaw tightened. “Could it have… caused the…”

Daisy nodded. Peter clenched his fists, and the water warbling around his fingers tightened into ice. Birdo eyed Peter’s hands warily.

“It was you,” Peter muttered, “You killed him.”

“Peter, I promise you it wasn’t me.” Daisy was talking quickly now. “Someone stole it. I don’t know who, but we need to figure it out fast and shut them down. If they figure out how to make Power-Ups, they could steal some of the other ones and cause some real chaos. We need to find them. Can you help us?”

“Why aren’t you calling the guard?” Peter said.

Birdo eyed the young man. “Why aren’t you?”

“I asked first.”

Birdo rolled her eyes and Peter looked sternly at Daisy.

“So? Why aren’t you calling the guard?”

Daisy glanced at Birdo, then back at Peter.

“The plants aren’t… necessarily… very legal?”

Peter scoffed and crossed his arms.

“Well, you’ve seen what they can do!” Daisy said, “But they can help people. I know they can. And I can’t grow them without a bioweapons manufacturer license, which is just not feasible and SO EXPENSIVE, and-“

“I should turn you in.”

Daisy nodded, looking sternly back at Peter. “But you won’t.”

“I won’t?”

“No,” Daisy said, “Because you’re hiding something from the police, too. Also… because you’re my friend.”

Peter crossed his arms. “Friends don’t point bioweapons at each other.”

“I said sorry.”

“Yeah, that makes up for it.”

“Even still, whoever is doing this needs to be stopped,” Daisy insisted, “And I know you. You’re gonna feel the itch, aren’t you?”

“What itch?”

“That heroic itch. The itch to stop people from getting hurt.” Daisy smiled knowingly. “Come on, Pete.”

Peter narrowed his eyes. There were a few tense seconds as he deliberated on what to do. He shouldn’t get involved. He really shouldn’t. Hiding his vampirism was hard enough when he only had civilian duties, and had Doc as a support system. Now he was going to tackle organized crime with a bioweapon manufacturer to stop a deadly vigilante?

Peter thought about the conversation he overheard this morning.

Finally, he sighed.

“Well, the good news,” he grumbled, “is that I know where he’s gonna be.”

 

[Dr. McNinja]

Two hours later, Peter and Daisy were sitting at an outdoor table. Daisy was sipping at a latte while Peter stared into his glass of orange juice, feeling the sun tingling on his neck. Thank Arbiters for the protection. Professor Carlisle was fifteen minutes late, though Daisy had warned Peter that she was usually late.

“So how do you know Professor Carlisle?” Peter asked.

“I don’t,” Daisy replied, “But some of my friends take her classes. Really nice lady, supposedly.”

“One wonders how nice she really is, given that she’s associated with the Lollipop Guild.”

Peter nodded, thinking about what this might mean. He was actually quite alarmed at how involved Daisy was in this whole debacle. Why could this be? And what did this Professor Carlisle have to do with a criminal organization?

Eventually, even his thoughts fell silent, and he continued to stare into his orange juice.

“Have you been to Coffee Shop AU before?”

Peter looked up, alarmed. “The what?”

Daisy gestured at the cafe. “It’s the cafe’s name. Coffee Shop AU.”

“Oh.” Peter shook his head. “No, first time.”

“You know, AU stands for Arcadia University.”

“Yeah. I figured.”

The two fell silent again. Daisy sipped from her coffee again while Peter rubbed his juice’s straw with his thumb.

“Alright, I’m just gonna…” Daisy cleared her throat, her voice cracking slightly, “I’m just gonna ask. Did I do something wrong?”

Peter raised his brow. “I mean, you pointed that Ice Flower thing at me-“

“No, before that,” Daisy said, “When we kissed. Was that wrong?”

Peter lowered his head. He stopped fiddling with his straw and hunched his back slightly, watching out again for the errant professor.

“Maybe not the time to talk about this.”

“Seems like we have until Professor Carlisle gets here.”

Peter shuffled uncomfortably.

“No. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Daisy leaned in. “Then how come you… ran off afterwards?”

Peter scowled and shrugged. “I guess I just freaked out.”

“Hm.” Daisy crossed her arms. “Not good enough.”

“Not good enough?”

“Yeah. You hurt my feelings. ‘Freaked out’ isn’t good enough.”

Peter scoffed. “Well, what about my feelings?”

Daisy leaned in. “You’re deflecting.”

“And you’re being very direct.”

“Mm.”

Peter sighed. “I… don’t know what to tell you.”

“Just tell me why you ran away that day.”

“I don’t know,” he lied.

Daisy sighed in exasperation. “Well, let me tell you this, you’re awful at this whole dating thing.”

Peter cleared his throat. “Well, I’m not necessarily trying to date you, am I?”

Daisy recoiled, her eyes full of hurt. Peter licked his lips nervously. Oh Arbiters, what had he done?

“Well, uh, I mean to say-“

Peter froze up. The hairs on the back of his neck rose up. Arbiters, it was cold. That was impossible. Vampires don’t get cold. They are literally colder than a person could possibly be. So what was-

“GET DOWN!” Peter yelled.

He grabbed Daisy’s arms and lunged to the side. As he did, a flurry of snowballs pelted the table they were just sitting at. The snowballs immediately exploded into icicles, crawling with frost and ice. Within seconds, the table was coated in a thick layer of frozen crystals. Peter and Daisy stared at it before glancing at each other.

“Ice Flower,” they both exclaimed.

Peter’s superhuman speed allowed him to rise to his feet quickly, pulling Daisy with him. Another flurry of snowballs scattered across the ground as Peter tugged Daisy’s arm. They needed cover. They needed to hide, so they could regroup. Without thinking, Peter flung open the Cafe AU’s glass doors and tumbled inside with Daisy. The two scrambled behind a tumbled round table.

Meanwhile, the other customers seemed to register that they were under attack. There was screaming and crashing as they all fled the scene. Nothing else seemed to happen, though. Peter scowled and looked from behind the table.

Bad idea. He took cover again as snowballs thudded against the table. The wooden surface crackled unhappily under the strain of being frozen.

“I think we found the Punisher,” Peter groaned.

Daisy shivered against the cold table. “He doesn’t seem happy with us.”

“We should probably ask him why.”

Peter looked around for a second. Then, he grabbed a nearby napkin and started waving it above his head.

“Let’s just talk-”

A snowball knocked the napkin out of his hands. Peter yelped as frost began crawling down his fingers. Daisy grabbed the hand and started massaging it.

“You okay?” Daisy asked.

“It’s fine,” Peter scowled, “Guess he’s not in the mood to talk.”

The snowballs stopped firing for a precious moment. Peter peeked out again. He couldn’t see where the snowballs were coming from.

“We need to-”

Before Peter could finish speaking, something smashed into the table hard. Daisy and Peter tumbled forward. Daisy grabbed Peter this time, pulling him (with great effort) aside as another heavy projectile shot past them.

“Was that a turtle shell?” Peter mumbled in a high-pitched voice.

“Come on, we need to run!” Daisy hissed.

“Was that a giant, red turtle shell-”

Daisy yanked Peter away as another flurry of snowballs assaulted their position. Daisy threw open the backdoor, leading into an alleyway.

The Punisher watched the pair flee the scene from atop a rooftop. His eyes glimmered with fury.

“You won’t get away from me that easily.”

 

[Dr. McNinja]

The sun had set. The only sounds that Peter could hear were his and Daisy’s footsteps, along with Daisy’s heavy breathing. Even a country boy like him knew that something was unusual about this in the middle of the city.

Daisy panted and leaned on the brick wall of the building behind her. After ducking in and out of alleyways for several minutes, even the athletic brunette was out of breath. The alleyway they were hiding in was pretty gross, actually. The pair had splashed through a puddle that Peter was beginning to suspect was sewage water. And yet, here they were, taking cover from a maniac vigilante.

“So, uh,” Daisy gasped, “I don’t think the… Punisher was looking for… Professor… Carlisle…”

Peter nodded. “Apparently, he’s targeted us.”

Daisy swallowed hard, looking around frantically. “Why? What’s his deal?”

“I don’t know,” Peter mumbled.

Because I’m a vampire.

Daisy wiped sweat off her brow as she peeked out the alley.

“Well, we need to keep moving,” Daisy whispered. She looked Peter up and down. “You’re not out of breath.”

Peter jerked back. He had forgotten. As an undead creature, he didn’t run out of breath… or even sweat. Especially now that the sun was setting, Peter was supernaturally strong.

Well, too late to cover that up.

“Farmer boy, remember?” Peter said, flexing in the night.

Daisy shrugged. “Okay?”

“We need to discuss our next steps,” Peter mumbled, peeking out from the alleyway again, “We need to-”

Another flurry of snowballs scattered against the wall. Peter covered his face and instinctively pulled Daisy behind him. Without thinking, Peter grabbed a nearby trash can lid and threw it as hard as he could at the source of the snowballs.

There was a hard crashing noise, and a figure fell out of a fire escape. The figure landed on both feet, a rucksack full of knick-knacks tumbling over behind him. He then stood up slowly and menacingly. Well, it would be menacing, but…

“WHAT.”

Peter squinted as he scanned the “Punisher” up and down. As far as Peter could tell, the figure was practically a plushie in terms of proportions, and really stretched out the definition of “humanoid.” But the first thing Peter noticed was the figure’s head, if it could be called that, as it was roughly in the shape of a plump mushroom. The… hair? was a white mushroom cap with extremely large red spots, and the stalk was… probably its face, given the beady long black dots that moved around like eyes and the grit teeth towards the bottom.

The figure seemed to be wearing a blue vest loosely over Kevlar armor on its tiny little body. He had stubby little arms and hands that probably couldn’t even reach the mushroomy top of his head. Peter wasn’t convinced he had any legs at all: just two cartoonishly large feet that apparently swiveled around the figure’s lower body to resemble walking.

“Are you some sort of…” Peter blinked rapidly. “Mushroom? Man?”

“I’m the Punisher Toad,” the figure snarled in his shrill warbling shriek of a voice, gripping the Ice Flower tightly as cold mist climbed up his sides, “And if I were you, boy, I’d sit down nice and quiet.”

Peter reviewed another lesson mentally. What did Dr. McNinja always say about these situations?

“You gotta banter with the bad guys,” Doc had said before leaving Peter to deal with a hostage situation by himself, “Distract them, keep conversation, make them think you’re an idiot with no plan. But while you’re doing that, come up with a plan. Notice your surroundings and then just roll with it.”

Doc’s voice rang clearly in Peter’s mind. “If you pull something off after you make the bad guys think you’re an idiot, they’re more likely to want to see what nonsense you’re pulling than to follow through on their hostage plan.”

Peter cleared his throat, forcing a grin. “Boy? You- I mean, you’re barely- you sound like you haven’t even hit puberty yet.”

The Punisher raised an eyebrow, probably; not like he had an eyebrow to raise. Daisy stared at him back, equally confused.

“What are you doing?” Daisy hissed.

Punisher Toad nodded. “Yeah, no, what are you doing?”

Okay, cool, Punisher’s guard is down. What was the next part again? Oh yeah, have a plan.

Peter did not have a plan.

“Always have an escape plan,” Doc’s voice continued.

NOT HELPFUL.

“You’re… weird folk,” Punisher Toad admitted, “But it don’t matter, see?

“Alright, that’s it,” Daisy snapped. She flashed the thing she was gripping in her palm, showing it to Toad. It was some sort of brooch. In its center was a glimmering blue jewel the size of a bar of soap, and it was surrounded by small silver petals.

Daisy continued to speak, this time in an authoritative tone Peter had never heard before. “As the Heiress of the Sarasaland Empire, I, Princess Daisy, order you to release that man.”

Punisher Toad’s eyes widened, and his grip loosened slightly on the Ice Flower, returning color to its petals.

“Princess Daisy?” Punisher Toad said.

“Wait, you know her?” Peter asked, “Wait, you’re a princess?”

Princess Daisy stared down Punisher Toad, brooch still in her hand. Punisher Toad glared back, and his grip tightened again.

“You think I give a damn?” Toad snarled, “You have no authority over me. Especially not here. Not anymore. I’m only here to deliver justice.”

Punisher Toad stepped back slightly, moving away from Peter and Daisy. His back foot brushed slightly with one of the red turtle shells. Oh, you know, Peter did have a plan now.

“You two got in the wrong crowd, huh? Well, let me tell you, I will not hesitate to-“

Peter stepped forward with murderous intention. Punisher Toad squinted.

“I warn you, you will not-“

Peter bared his fangs ferally, hissing loudly. He kicked back, sending the red turtle shell flying backwards and out of the alley. The shell corrected its course, skidding to a stop before sliding towards Punisher Toad. The vigilante prepared an ice ball, and as the red turtle shell started spinning, he quickly knocked it off its course with a well-placed icicle. He could tell this was a feint, but what could this kid possibly have that made the Red Koopa Shell a feint?

He found out quickly. Peter hissed again, disappearing into mist. Punisher Toad shot another ice ball at the mist where Peter was, but the mist shot to the side, narrowly avoiding being struck head-on. The mist reformed into Peter, who hurtled forward towards the Punisher. Toad was preparing another projectile, but was too late - Peter had lunged on top of him, and was tumbling around with him.

Punisher Toad kicked off of Peter’s face, launching himself into the air. In one swift motion, he drew a brown leaf from his kevlar vest and gripped it tightly. Two small cat-like ears popped out from Toad’s mushroom cap, and a long raccoon tail sprouted from Toad’s behind.

Peter blinked as Toad’s tail wiggled in the air, seemingly allowing the vigilante to float gently. Toad’s glare was biting.

“What the hell,” Peter mumbled as he stumbled back.

Daisy looked at him, eyes wide. “How the hell did you do that?”

“Water magic,” Peter lied, “Why does he have so many of your plants?”

“I don’t know,” Daisy admitted, “But it’s a good thing he dropped his little bag.”

At that moment, Daisy found what she was looking for. She drew a small cube from her backpack and threw it as hard as she could at the Punisher Toad. The vigilante was too slow dodging it, and the block collided with his head. The raccoon features vanished, and the Punisher Toad instead turned into solid steel. The Toad dropped heavily onto his knees, not expecting the sudden shift in weight.

Punisher Toad took two heavy steps forward and headbutted Daisy. She flew back several feet, rolling painfully on the asphalt before stumbling to an unconscious stop. Peter growled and tackled Punisher Toad in response, but failed to budge him… at all.

Punisher Toad picked him up with one hand and tossed him aside, crashing him into a wall. Peter groaned in pain as he unembedded himself from the crumbling bricks. He ducked, barely dodging a metallic haymaker, before throwing his own gut punch at the Punisher Toad. Peter yelped as his knuckles bounced off harmlessly, only hurting his own hand. And with another backhand, Punisher Toad knocked Peter aside.

Daisy was starting to stir just as Peter landed next to her. The young vampire growled as he pushed himself to his feet, helping Daisy up. The Punisher was doing his best to make his way towards them, but was obviously slowed down by his steel skin.

“What do we do?” Peter asked Daisy.

“We need to find this one mushroom,” Daisy groaned, “It’s going to help counter against the-”

Peter picked up a VERY plump mushroom with two pupils. The cap of it seemed to coil around in metal rings. “Is this a mushroom?”

“No, not that one-”

Suddenly, the mushroom vanished, and a gigantic thick spring coiled around Peter. Peter yelped as he was launched into the air. The spring emitted wacky noises as Peter bounded helplessly around the alley, his head and feet apparently bases for this EXTREMELY bouncy spring.

Daisy shook her head, then found another mushroom, this one with an oversized yellow cap that nearly enveloped it, spotted with equally large red dots. Like all of the power-ups so far, this one had two little black eyes.

Daisy felt the Mega Mushroom absorb into her, and her limbs started stretching.

“What the hell,” Peter said, his voice muffled in between bounces.

A fifteen-foot-tall Daisy slammed her fist into the wall. She glowered furiously at the Punisher Toad.

The Punisher started to retreat to escape the colossal princess, but Daisy was on him in an instant. With one swift kick, Daisy sent the Punisher careening into the back of the alley, colliding into a dumpster and several trash bags.

Toad grunted as he struggled to right himself despite his incredible weight. While he struggled to rise, a spring-wrapped Peter collided into him from a twenty-foot drop, shattering both Punisher Toad’s metallic form and the spring wrapped around Peter. Peter bounced off harmlessly, while Punisher Toad fell deeper into the pile of trash, apparently unconscious.

Peter landed roughly on the brick pavement, then pointed at Toad triumphantly.

“GET SPRINGED ON, IDIOT!” Peter cheered.

Daisy rushed over to the Toad, her form shrinking with each step. She placed her fingers where the creature’s neck would probably be. She looked up at Peter, shrugging.

“I… don’t know how to check for mushroom pulses.”

Peter chuckled and opened Toad’s eyes. Damn, there were no pupils to check for dilation. At a loss, Peter placed a hand near Toad’s mouth. Breathing. Eh, good enough.

“Yeah, I think he’s gonna be fine. We beat him.”

Daisy looked at Peter, her eyes full of excitement.

“HOLY SHIT WE BEAT THE PUNISHER!”

Yelping loudly, Daisy leapt onto Peter, her arms embraced around his neck. Peter blushed heavily as he felt her warmth on his body. Daisy jumped up and down a few times, wrangling Peter’s neck as she did. She pulled back, looking Peter in the eyes.

She was leaning in.

Peter’s mind barely processed the fact that she was kissing him until several seconds had passed, and their tongues had started wrestling. Daisy moaned happily as Peter kissed her back, practically pushing her head backwards in his eagerness.

He wanted her so bad.

He wanted to taste her.

It’d be so easy.

Peter moaned as something fluid entered his mouth. It was wonderful. Just the feeling of holding Daisy like this was enough to send him into blissful oblivion. Her flesh against his. He felt so connected to her. It was right.

It was wrong.

Why was it wrong-

Peter suddenly jumped back. His tongue searched for Daisy, but felt instead the egregiously long fangs stretching out from inside his mouth. Peter touched them gingerly. They were slick, and pulsing.

Peter looked in horror at the two piercing wounds on the side of Daisy’s neck. Daisy stared back, her mouth open in horror, her face paler due to blood loss and terror. Her mouth trembled as she tried to stammer her feelings of terrified betrayal.

“You’re a vampire.”

 

[Dr. McNinja]

In a dank, dark alleyway behind the Smoothie King’s, Daisy Sarasa was bleeding out. Peter was stunned by how delicious she was.

“You’re…” Daisy shuffled back, gripping her profusely bleeding neck in horror, “You’re a vampire.”

Peter sealed his mouth with his hands, as if that would help the situation at all. He desperately but fruitlessly tried to shove the fangs back inside his mouth.

“Oh Arbiters,” Peter said, accidentally biting his own tongue, “Oh Arbiters, I’m so sorry.”

Peter stepped forward. Daisy stumbled back, one hand pressed against her bite wound, the other raised against Peter.

“Stay away.”

“I’m so sorry- I can- There are things at the clinic-”

“Stay away.”

“I can help-”

Daisy almost tripped on the Punisher’s Power-Up bag. Daisy drew a Fire Flower from it and pointed it at Peter. Peter swallowed hard as the petals of the flower scattered sparks into the air. Daisy looked at Peter, her jaw quivering but her eyes hard with fury.

“Back off.”

Peter swallowed hard before speaking. He was no longer approaching.

“Daisy, please. I’m so sorry-”

“You bit me.”

“I don’t- I didn’t want-”

“You lied to me,” Daisy continued, her nostrils flared, “You’re trying to- You’re one of those- You’re gonna turn me into a monster.”

Peter’s jaw hardened at that sentence, then he shook his head.

“I didn’t mean to-”

Daisy squeezed the Fire Flower, sending a flurry of fireballs at Peter’s direction. Peter tumbled out of the way, his undead instincts rightfully afraid of flames. Peter scrambled around a dumpster in the alleyway, taking cover before Daisy could do something else.

“Daisy?!”

Peter heard no response. He poked his head around the corner, searching for Daisy. She was gone. Peter ran out in pursuit, but quickly found himself in a crowd that had formed around the commotion with the Punisher. Elves, robots and demons alike were all watching with fascination at the teenager.

“DAISY!”

She was gone, and had taken Punisher Toad’s bag with her. And as Peter turned around to check on the Punisher, he realized that the strange mushroom man was gone too.

“Hold it right there!”

The guard were starting to arrive. Peter closed his eyes and turned into mist, wafting away amongst the confused crowd.

[AT DR. MCNINJA’S CLINIC]

Peter banged his head against the door one more time in agony as he turned the key. Odd, he thought, that the door was unlocked.

As carefully as he could, Peter opened his senses. There was nothing different about the lobby space, except he could smell the footsteps of someone heading directly towards Doc’s old office. Peter crept towards the office on his tiptoes, irises narrow as it scanned the hallway for any threats.

Before Peter could do much else, Dr. McNinja’s head stuck out of the doorway into his office.

“Peter! There you are.” Doc stepped out, cheerful as you like. “I came back and everything was locked. You know I didn’t have my key on me, right? All my stuff got burned up.”

Peter stared at the apparently-still-alive physician, completely baffled. He then quickly approached Dr. McNinja and punched him in the face as hard as he could. Doc flew to the side, crashing into the wall before he caught himself on his feet.

“OW!” Doc exclaimed, “Mah aawww (My jaw)!”

“I’m sure you can fix it,” Peter said coldly.

Doc nodded before slapping his chin. His dislocated jaw cracked back into place, and Doc whimpered in pain.

“Ow-howwwww,” Doc groaned.

“Is the jaw all fixed?”

“Yeah, it just needs to rest for a few-“

Peter punched him again, this time the other direction. Doc collided into the opposite wall hard, collapsing onto the ground this time.

“WHA NA HEHH * ?!”

*EN: What the hell?!

“YOU WERE ALIVE THIS WHOLE TIME?!” Peter screamed.

Dr. McNinja groaned as he stood up, looking at Peter with genuine confusion. With another hard snap, Doc’s jaw returned to its location.

“What, you didn’t know?”

Peter scoffed, then threw his arms up in disbelief. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I FOUND YOUR BURNT BODY AT THE GINGERBREAD LOUNGE!”

“Yeah!” Doc said, “And I left you a note, explaining the situation and with very clear instructions!”

“WHAT NOTE?!”

“In my room!” Doc snapped, “Couldn’t leave it in my office, because someone might’ve seen it, and I know how you teens are with your rooms, so I thought I’d just-“

Peter facepalmed hard enough that it would give a regular man a concussion. Doc stared at him with confusion and hurt. Peter glared at him incredulously.

“I CAN’T. ENTER YOUR ROOM. WITHOUT. YOUR PERMISSION.”

Dr. McNinja frowned for a second, then his eyes widened in understanding.

“Oh goodness, so you thought I was actually dead that whole time?”

Peter swung another hard punch. This time, Doc tumbled out of the way, causing Peter to drive his arm directly through the wall. Peter, shoulder-deep into the wall, tried to pull his arm out, but there was something preventing him from taking it out again. After a few furious attempts, Peter leaned his face against the wall resignedly.

“Are you stuck?”

“…yes.”

“Do you need help?”

“…yes.”

“Are you gonna punch me again if I help?”

“No.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“…no.”

Doc rolled his eyes. “Well, at least you’re being honest.”

The physician punched his own hole in the wall next to Peter’s arm. There was a piece of rebar going all the way through Peter’s arm. With some effort, Doc managed to lift up the part of the wall that was crushing the rebar through his forearm, and Peter removed his arm. There was a gaping hole inside, but Peter could barely feel it.

Doc drew a blood bag from his pocket. Peter took it and drank thirstily from it, feeling the hole in his arm start to converge on itself. After chugging the whole bag, he tossed the plastic bag onto the ground, turning his attention back to Dr. McNinja.

“Okay, yes, I faked my death. I was tracking the Lollipop Guild,” Dr. McNinja said, “I figured you’d have the vigilante situation under control, and maybe you’d get closer to Daisy in the process. Didn’t realize he was so… you know.”

Peter nodded, his hostility starting to subdue a bit.

Doc chuckled nervously. “But yeah, all’s well that ends well, right?”

“Daisy and I nearly got killed twice.”

“Well-“

“Each.”

Doc blinked. “I mean, if you were working together, then obviously-“

“And then I got all blood-crazy and attacked Daisy!” Peter hollered, “You didn’t tell me that could happen!”

Peter looked at Doc with concern. “Is this gonna happen every time I get into a fight? I’ll attack the ones I care about?”

“Oh, goodness, no!” Doc chuckled, “First of all, it’s just when you become sexually aroused after a fight.”

Dr. McNinja leaned on his desk, gripping his battered jaw thoughtfully. “I can think of quite a few vampires who take mortal companions. From what I know, they try to avoid being near their lovers after they’ve had a big fight, or if they’ve not fed recently. How bad did you hurt her?”

“I… bit her.”

It was Dr. McNinja’s turn to facepalm. After doing so, the physician looked Peter earnestly in the eyes.

“You drank her blood?”

Peter nodded miserably. “I.. didn’t mean to… I don’t even know what-“

Doc interrupted by hurriedly gathering a bunch of materials. “How long ago was this?”

Peter looked at him confusedly. “Uh, maybe two hours ago-“

“Shit,” Doc hissed as he grabbed two vials of holy water. After noting that, Peter suddenly realized what Doc was thinking.

“Oh God, do you think she’s-“

“Not yet,” Doc shouted, sprinting out the door, “Stay here! I’ll be right back!”

“But you don’t know where she-“

Before Peter could continue, Dr. McNinja had vanished. The boy collapsed miserably onto the floor. He was alone again.

Weakly, he picked up the note that Doc had dropped. Peter’s eyes narrowed in sublime anger as he read it. This easily earned Peter another punch to Doc’s face.

BRB, still alive. Blood in freezer.

 

[Dr. McNinja]

Meanwhile, Daisy stumbled into her room, knocking over a hockey stick and a baseball bat. She collapsed on top of a pile of jerseys, her arms momentarily tangling between them as she shuffled back to her feet. Birdo wasn’t home. Daisy was alone.

“Oh God,” Daisy gasped, gripping her still-bleeding bite wound, “oh God oh God oh God”

Peter was a vampire. How could- Daisy liked him. Daisy kissed him. And this whole time, the asshole was just looking for an excuse to- he just wanted another goddamn lunch. Daisy had never felt so violated… or used. She was almost impressed with how long he kept appearances. Daisy had no idea Peter was such a monster.

Birdo was right.

She felt herself die a little more as she threw her shattered phone onto her desk. Daisy groaned. She needed a phone. She needed to contact Madame Pomfrey, the dorm’s nurse. She needed… something…

The ex-princess collapsed on top of her bed, fatigue washing over her. Her joints felt stiff and stubborn, and her muscles felt like jelly. Daisy closed her eyes as she exhaled what she believed to be her last breath.

“Hey, can you confirm that Freddy Buchanan was indeed your uncle?”

Daisy yelped as she whipped out her Fire Flower again, firing it at the speaker. It sounded like he was sitting at Daisy’s window, which had been opened without her noticing. The fireball shot through the air through Daisy’s open window, fizzling uselessly into the air. Somehow, without moving at all, the speaker dodged the attack.

“Wait,” Daisy coughed, “Dr. McNinja?”

“Yep. I know you were bitten. We don’t have much time.”

“You were…” Daisy stammered, “You died.”

“I got better,” Doc said, “I do that a lot. Let me look at that?”

Daisy shook her head. “Wait, there’s something you need to know. Your assistant, Peter, he’s a-“

“A vampire, I know,” Doc said, “I also know he’s the one who bit you. I have the cure right here. If I know him at all, he’ll be waiting patiently in the clinic for me, not moving a single muscle.”

Daisy’s nostrils flared. “You knew?”

“If I don’t treat that wound in the next ten minutes, it’s gonna get infected and you’re going to have the ugliest scar on your neck.”

Daisy’s eyes narrowed in quiet fury, but the princess finally snorted and presented her neck to Doc.

“Frank and I weren’t blood-related. The Buchanans adopted me.”

“Yes, but you consider Frank to be part of your family?”

Daisy rolled her eyes. “Yes. He was my shithead asshole uncle. Why?”

Doc drew a vial of white powder from his pocket. Daisy noticed the label said, “left toe”, which made Daisy recoil.

“Wait, what’s that?”

“Bone powder.”

Daisy looked up at Doc. “…from my uncle’s toe bone?”

“I can explain this whole process later, but we now have - oof, 9 minutes. Okay, hold on.”

Dr. McNinja pulled an assortment of ingredients of increasingly bizarre nature from an unreasonable amount of pockets in his coat. Every ingredient added made Daisy want to recoil more, until Doc was holding a cocktail of just absolutely disgusting color.

“Drink this whole thing,” Doc said, “It’s going to be nasty, but try not to throw up any of it. Since it’s still early, I’m also gonna need to inject some purified phoenix tears.”

“What?”

“Six minutes, Daisy.”

Daisy nodded in understanding and started chugging the potion Doc brewed for him. The smell did not fully warn how repulsive this potion was. Its taste was bitter and reminded Daisy of rotten milk and sweaty armpits. Daisy could’ve sworn she was swallowing at least three hairs. She cringed and set the mug down for a second, looking at the hairy concrete of a potion inside.

“Yeah, that’s not going to help you,” Doc warned as he flicked at the needle of his syringe. A glowing cyan liquid was inside. “Just drink it all-“

Daisy gagged as her stomach loudly protested with her. Well, let nobody tell Daisy she had no willpower. Instead of regurgitating the fluid, Daisy gagged herself with the edge of the mug, and forced the rest of the potion down. She groaned loudly as she inhaled, the rank stink of the potion stuck to the inside of her mouth and nostrils.

Doc pulled out a bottle of orange juice. Daisy wordlessly snatched it and chugged the whole thing. The sour taste cut through the absolutely vile mixture in her mouth, and though the foul taste still lingered, Daisy was never more grateful for juice in her life.

Meanwhile, Dr. McNinja looked Daisy earnestly in the eye, rubbing an alcoholic swab on her neck. “Good job. I know that shit’s nasty. Now, I apologize, but you’re going to feel some discomfort…”

Doc promptly jammed the needle into Daisy’s neck, causing her to shriek out loud. Doc quietly cooed gentle words as he injected the rest of the medication, then pulled the needle out, dabbing the bead of blood forming on her neck with the swab. He placed a band-aid on it, and handed Daisy a pill.

“This is a weak painkiller. It’s gonna make the next few hours a bit more tolerable-“

Wordlessly, Daisy popped it in her mouth and swallowed it with some orange juice. She wiped the tears that had formed in her eyes, then glared angrily at Doc.

“Sorry, my bedside manner is usually better,” Doc said, “But then, I also usually don’t do house calls. We just… didn’t have much time left. But now we can take things slower… and I can answer any questions you have.”

Dr. McNinja looked around the room, noticing the clutter. Daisy fumed at the doctor, lips pursed with anger.

“So…” Doc said, “you like sports?”

***

Daisy calmed down after Dr. McNinja started his next round of treatments. After she abruptly ran to her bathroom to throw up some of the medication, she was even starting to enjoy Doc’s company. He was… a much more mature guy than she initially assumed.

“Peter’s a good kid,” Doc was saying as he ground up another powder in mortar and pestle, “With a good heart. He’d rather starve than hurt anyone. I know that, because when I hired him, that’s exactly what he was doing.”

“Hurting someone?”

“Starving.” Doc sighed. “He didn’t know any of the tricks of being a pacifist vampire. He’s got it mostly down now, but he’s still learning. Most of all, he’s learning to trust others again.”

Dr. McNinja poured the powder into the makings of another potion. Daisy could’ve sworn she smelled garlic in the air.

“Peter’s had a rough go of it,” Doc explained, “Even back when he was human, things were… very hard for him. He had a bad relationship with his family, but they were so isolated Peter didn’t have anywhere to go. His brothers are real pieces of work. He had nobody to talk to.

“I’ve been trying to teach him he’s not just a monster, that he’s a person. He’s been training to reconcile both his literal bloodlust and his regular human feelings.

“Then why did he…” Daisy pointed at her neck.

“Ah, right,” Doc said, “Vampires don’t feel sexual urges the way humans do, since they reproduce differently. His brain didn’t know what to do with his horny energy nor his love, and got it confused with adrenaline.”

Daisy blushed at that sentiment, looking away slightly. Dr. McNinja examined Daisy’s wound with a small glass lens, then nodded to himself.

“Yep. These are pulsing with venom. Also explains why he was that violent just now. He punched me twice.”

Daisy looked at him. “Could it also be because you tricked him into thinking you were dead for literally a week, leaving him completely alone to dismantle a criminal organization and a maniac vigilante?”

“As I explained in the note that he didn’t read,” Doc said, “he didn’t NEED to deal with the Lollipop Guild, or the Punisher. I was working on it.”

“I didn’t know you left him a note.”

Doc nodded. “And he just didn’t read it!”

“That doesn’t sound like him,” Daisy noted.

Doc feigned surprise as he drew the next syringe. “I know, right? Crazy.”

Daisy hissed as the next needle punctured her skin. “You really know what you’re doing?”

“I’ve built my whole career around neutralizing vampirism, so yes.”

Daisy winced as the medication pulsed into her body. She could feel the cold fluid stiffly rolling through her veins.

“I meant with Peter.”

Dr. McNinja blinked before removing the syringe, dabbing at the entry point with an alcoholic swab.

“Ah.” Doc pressed hard against the swab, rubbing it. “Well, it’s definitely unprecedented for a vampire and his hunter to live together, but-“

“That’s not what I mean either.”

Dr. McNinja frowned. Now he really wasn’t sure what Daisy was talking about. The brunette leaned forward, looking Doc firmly in the eyes.

“When you… you know… ‘died’…” Daisy cleared her throat, “He was really torn up, you know. I know you care about him, in your own, weird ninja way…”

The ex-princess blinked and looked away. “Sorry. It’s not my place.”

“No, I understand,” Dr. McNinja said, drawing another syringe, “And I get what you mean. I’m not from this world, either. I had a protege before. And… we were close, too. But I failed him. In more ways than one. My parents ended up training him more than I did. So I know I’m not the best of mentors.”

Dr. McNinja pressed the syringe gently into Daisy’s skin, making her hiss again. Doc looked earnestly into Daisy’s eyes.

“But he needs my help,” Doc sighed, “So I’m what he’s got.”

Daisy nodded. She smiled warmly.

“Not just you, now.”

Doc raised an eyebrow. “As in…”

“As in I’m thinking about it,” Daisy snapped, suddenly blushing, “I… still feel uncomfortable that he lied to me.”

“But you understand why he did?”

Daisy nodded softly. “I do.”

Doc nodded. “That’s all. I’m not gonna ask you to give him a second chance or anything. Just wanted to explain the situation. I’m not asking you to forgive him, it’d be irresponsible of me to try to- you know, assault is often psychologically complex, and it can leave lasting damage-“

“Yeah, I get it.”

“I dunno, I don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated to forgive someone if it’s unhealthy for you, or in any way dishonest-“

“It’s really fine.”

“It’s just that I sound like I’m trying to get you to forgive your assaulter, which is incredibly not okay-“

“Doc!” Daisy snapped, “We’re good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Daisy smiled weakly. “I’m gonna think about it. From what I know about him, and from what you’ve told me, I can only assume he’s really torn up about what he did. I’m gonna talk to him, then think about what I’m going to do.”

Doc nodded, giving a grateful smile big enough for Daisy to see through the mask. “That’s far more than I could ask for.”

Daisy raised an eyebrow. “You actually rank higher on my shit list, Doctor.”

“I just saved your life!”

“You played dead and left two teenagers to dismantle a crime syndicate and a deranged vigilante.”

“I was watching the whole time!”

“That’s worse!”

“You really think I wasn’t helping?” Doc said, crossing his arms, “Y’all have no idea how many times you guys would’ve died or gotten arrested if I wasn’t there.”

Daisy frowned, then blinked. “Wait, what?”

“What kinda cab driver is picking up suspicious teenagers who seem desperate to flee from a bombing, Daisy?” Doc whined, “Hell, who do you think stole your Fire Flower and knocked down your secret little stash so you’d have an idea of what’s going on?”

“YOU stole my Fire Flower?”

Doc rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’ll give it back later. I just realized you weren’t gonna be checking your other stash any time soon, so I thought I’d clue you in.”

“My other- Ohhhh.” Daisy nodded in understanding. “That’s why the Punisher had so many Power-Ups. He raided my classroom.”

“Probably while he was investigating that professor of yours.”

Daisy squinted. “If you knew all that, why wouldn’t you just say it? If you wanted to help, why’d you act like you were dead-”

Daisy crossed her arms, then blinked in realization. She smiled a bit.

“Oh, I see,” Daisy said, “I guess Peter’s not the only one struggling to show his love despite his instincts… Dr. McNinja.”

Doc flinched, then scowled.

“You care about people,” Daisy continued, “You care about Peter. You’re clearly a real ninja, not just a pretend one. You were trained to be an emotionless killer. So this is the only way you know how to show your overwhelming compassion.”

Dr. McNinja sighed loudly, then met Daisy’s shit-eating grin with a quiet smile of his own.

“You think you’re so clever.”

“I do.”

McNinja rubbed his eyes. “Well, you’re gonna be all set. I’ve left a handful of morphine pills on your desk, take them if you feel any pain. No charge, obviously, that’d be fucked up. You know our numbers, and you know where we are, if you come across any other problems or… change your mind.”

With a quiet wave, Dr. McNinja slipped out of Daisy’s window. Daisy didn’t even hear him land on the ground below.

 

[Dr. McNinja]

“Hi, Daisy,” Peter said, doing his best toothless grin. Unfortunately, due to the specific facial muscles required to withdraw a vampire’s fangs, his grin was less a friendly smile and more an awkward stretching of his cheeks.

It had been less than a day since the Punisher’s attack. Peter was standing outside Daisy’s dorm, holding a bushel of tulips and daisies (Daisy almost rolled her eyes). Evidently, he wanted to apologize for himself. Daisy failed to maintain her stoicity as a snort escaped her lips. After a moment, she managed to suppress her smile.

“What are you doing here?” Daisy asked.

“I… wanted to apologize,” Peter said, “for lying.”

“Just the lying?” Daisy scoffed, “And not drinking my blood?”

Peter swallowed hard. “…that too.”

Daisy raised an eyebrow. “And for leaving me alone right after I got bitten by a vampire?”

Peter flinched. “And for leaving you alone right after you got bitten by a vampire. Wait, what?”

Daisy nodded. “You did. You left me there, all alone.”

“But…” Peter frowned. “I… was the one… who bit you.”

“Uh huh,” Daisy scowled, “And then you left me all. Alone.”

Daisy scoffed again, jerking her head to the side. Peter lightly exhaled in relief, noticing that the bite marks on her neck were starting to fade.

Peter narrowed his eyes. “I- Did you not want me to leave?”

“Of course I did,” Daisy scolded, “But the most important thing is that you didn’t explain yourself. You lied to me, and as a result, you ended up attacking me.”

Daisy squinted, clearly still mad at Peter. He felt himself shrinking slightly under her gaze.

“You’re right,” Peter sighed, “I… I’m not used to… I’m new to all this. I didn’t think I was going to have to… I thought I was just going to hide until… I don’t know…”

Daisy’s eyes softened a bit. “That sounds miserable.”

Peter shrugged. “I’m gonna sound a bit like an edgelord, but… being a vampire is dangerous. Not just to me, but to everyone around me. I trust Dr. McNinja because he’s literally a vampire hunter, which I guess is a little ironic…

“But… anyway, I figured I wouldn’t need to… talk to anyone else? I mean, I’ve always been… isolated. As you know. Then, you know, we got swept up in that whole thing, and I know that’s not… normal… but still. Getting to know you was nice. I didn’t realize it would be so… nice.”

Peter looked down. “Um. So. I don’t know what we were before, because… again, not normal… but I liked it. The place where we were. So thank you. But I understand that I hurt you… badly… not just physically, but by lying. And I’m sorry. That’s. What I wanted. To say.”

The vampire cleared his throat, averting his eyes again. He heard Daisy exhale sharply, and his heart sank. But then...

Daisy nodded. “Okay. We’re cool.”

Peter blinked, meeting her eyes in surprise. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, sure,” Daisy sighed with a smile, “Dr. McNinja actually explained everything when he treated me.”

Peter squinted. “Oh.”

“Hyped you up a lot, actually,” Daisy giggled, “He thinks the world of you.”

Peter averted his eyes, embarrassed, then looked up at Daisy.

“Wait, so why did you-“

“I just wanted to hear it from you,” Daisy said with a soft smile, “And… I mean, I guess I have no real proof, but you seem like you’re being genuine. Honestly? Things were really crazy that night, and in your defense, I kinda… jumped you with the uh… With the kiss. So the thing that upset me… was how thoroughly you lied to me.”

Peter nodded, swallowing hard.

“Like… consistently. The whole time we knew each other. It’s especially a bummer…” Daisy said, looking to the side for a second, “because I had a really good time with you too.”

Peter looked up, eyes flaring slightly at the sentence. Daisy chuckled as she noticed his reaction.

“But I can’t even really blame you?” Daisy said, “I mean, I did the same thing to you before that fight with the Punisher. I sorta get where you’re coming from. And after a while, I started thinking about how it might be for you.

“The world is… so hostile to you. If anyone found out about you, they’d just think you were a monster, even though what happened wasn’t your fault. You’d be safe to assume most everyone would hate you when they find out.”

Peter fidgeted uncomfortably, opening his mouth to say something, then closed it.

“But I don’t hate you,” Daisy continued.

“You should.”

“Oof, probably,” Daisy groaned, “But I don’t. You’re nice. You’re reliable, you’re funny… and you’re… you know… pretty.”

Daisy cleared her throat and looked to the side again. It was adorable. Then her nostrils flared as she took a more aggressive stance, jamming her finger into Peter’s chest.

“But never. Ever. Lie to me again,” Daisy said between grit teeth, “I know I’m not really one to talk, so I’m going to do the same. I understand it might be hard for you - not a diss, just an observation - but trust goes both ways. I swear I’ll be reasonable, just…”

Daisy closed her eyes and breathed in through her nose as if to center herself, then met Peter’s eyes again. “If you hide things from me, I’m going to feel like you don’t trust me, and that hurts me.”

Daisy crossed her arms. “Also, please don’t drink my blood again. That also hurts me. I hear you’re usually pretty good about that, but, you know. Drawing some boundaries. Honestly, I’d be cooler with it if it didn’t hurt like hell.”

Peter nodded. “Of course, that’s reasonable. And you’re right. I’m… going to be more honest.”

“Can you?”

“I… I’m going to try. I want you to trust me. I know I can’t ask that of you, obviously, that’s not… how that works. You build trust.”

Daisy nodded, and Peter avoided her gaze.

“I guess I never really cared about that, but… now I do. A lot. For you. And I’d never want to hurt you. E-even though I did do that. Um.”

Peter looked down. “I want you to be happy. Because… because you make me happy. Just… being around you makes me happier than I even knew existed.”

Daisy’s eyes softened again as she blushed a little. She leaned on the inside of her doorframe, then looked at the sky.

“You know…” Daisy murmured, “It’s getting pretty close to sunrise. Might get dangerous for you.”

Peter shook his head. “I have certain protections for that kind of thing-“

“I’m just saying,” Daisy interrupted, “I don’t have class in the morning so… you could… stay.”

Peter narrowed his eyes. Daisy met them with puppy-dog eyes, her face tilted slightly to the side. She bit her lip slightly with a grin. Peter continued to stare at her, not fully understanding what was happening.

“I mean, I was just gonna head home.”

After a few more seconds, her face started to fall in a mixture of disappointment and embarrassment.

“Of course, yeah. I didn’t mean to-“ Daisy said, clearing her throat.

“Oh!” Peter said, stammering all of a sudden. He was struck by the impossibility of the heat rushing into his cheeks. “You- You mean to say, um, as in-”

Daisy noted Peter’s reaction. Clearly, she kept forgetting how dense Peter could be. She shifted back into her flirtatious expression.

“I mean to say,” Daisy cooed, her half-lidded eyes looking at him hungrily.

She started examining his face, searching for its many imperfections. Peter would have felt self-conscious, but Daisy’s expression was one of delight. Peter stared at her for a few terrified seconds, before gritting his teeth.

Quietly, the boy said, “Okay.”

Daisy blinked, suddenly unsure. “Again, only if you want to. I don’t want to pressure-”

“No, I want to,” Peter said, leaning in, “I… really want to.”

Daisy grinned, closing her eyes contentedly. “Okay.”

The ex-princess kissed him again, more carefully this time, and she took hold of his hands. Peter couldn’t quell his smile as Daisy closed the door, giggling. She hung a baseball glove on her door handle as she entered.

***

Daisy smiled contentedly as Peter kissed her on the forehead. They were laying under her sheets, and despite how cold his bare skin was against hers, Daisy had never felt warmer.

“Mm,” she sighed, “So.”

Peter smiled back, “So.”

“So,” Daisy repeated, causing both of them to giggle.

“So you really don’t mind that I’m a…” Peter started, before faltering.

“I don’t,” Daisy sighed, “As long as you… you know. Don’t drink my blood. Again. Or hypnotize me. You haven’t hypnotized me, have you?”

Peter frowned. “I… don’t think we can do that?”

“Sure you can,” Daisy chuckled, rubbing her head against Peter’s shoulder, “Everyone knows that when a vampire stares into your eyes, their eyes become all swirly, and you become the vampire’s thrall. Miiiind controoool.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “And where did you hear this?”

“It’s in all the vampire movies,” Daisy said, before leaning in to kiss Peter’s cheek and adopting a teasingly deeper voice, “I know what you are.”

“Oh, hush.”

“You’re impossibly fast, and strong,” Daisy continued, whispering in his ear, “Your skin is pale white and ice cold-“

“I said hush,” Peter chuckled, shivering at the sensation of someone whispering into his ear, “Arbiters, that’s a bad movie.”

“You’ve seen it?” Daisy said with a giggle, “Country boy like you?”

“Yes, and I didn’t like it before I realized it was perpetrating harmful prejudices about vampires,” Peter said matter-of-factly.

“Mm,” Daisy sighed again, eyes closed, “Well, rest assured, I don’t have a werewolf side-hoe, nor do I particularly want to become a vampire, so you don’t have to be worried.”

“That’s good to hear.”

Daisy looked up at him, frowning slightly. “You sure you didn’t hypnotize me with your eyes?”

Peter looked back, staring into her eyes. “I don’t think I’m the one getting hypnotized here.”

Daisy groaned as she dug her face deeper into Peter’s shoulder, and the nurse chuckled.

“That was corny,” Daisy said, but Peter could feel her smiling.

Peter smiled contently, closing his eyes.

“Well, I have to get ready for class this afternoon,” Daisy whispered, “But… I want to ask. What… what are we?”

Peter looked back. “What do you want to be?”

Daisy rolled her eyes. “The point of a conversation-“

Peter burst into soft laughter. Daisy closed her mouth and smiled back.

“I…” Peter swallowed hard. “I like you. A lot.”

“You don’t say?” Daisy said, caressing Peter’s toned legs.

“Don’t demand I be open with my feelings, and then mock me for them,” Peter snarked.

Though he was surely teasing, Daisy did feel a little bad. “Right. Sorry.”

Peter swallowed again. “I want… to keep seeing you. Like this. And in… in general.”

Daisy grinned and leaned in to kiss Peter’s lips. They stayed there for a while, neither moving from this tender meeting. Daisy moved back slightly, opening her eyes, and Peter’s face leaned forward, as if to give chase.

“Me too,” Daisy finally said, “So. Would you like me to be your girlfriend?”

Daisy felt Peter’s chest bump slightly. She giggled. It was still so strange to think about how normal his lack of heartbeat was.

“More than anything,” Peter responded.

Daisy nodded approvingly. “Cool.”

“Cool.”

They snuggled together closely, and Daisy started drifting to sleep in Peter’s cool arms.

“Daisy.”

“Mm?”

“You said you have class.”

“I can skip.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Mm.”

They stayed in bed for the rest of the afternoon.

 

[Dr. McNinja]

The next morning, Dr. McNinja popped the cork off the champagne bottle, causing foam to explode from it and spilling onto the floor.

“CONGRATULATIONS PETER!” Doc bellowed at the top of his lungs, “YOU BAGGED A BABE!”

Peter flinched. He looked around the clinic. The entire lobby was showering confetti, and variously colored balloons were covering the ceilings. A large, elaborate cake sat on top of Peter’s desk, crowned with a little figurine of Peter and Daisy drinking what appeared to be cocktails at the Gingerbread Lounge. A large banner hung over the desk, with letters written in thick red paint, “CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING IT”.

Dr. McNinja bounded over to Peter, hand reaching out for a high-five. Peter stared back disapprovingly.

“You don’t think this is inappropriate?” Peter hissed.

Doc shrugged. “Why?”

“Objectification of women aside,” Peter growled, “Daisy is right. Here.”

Daisy waved meekly at Dr. McNinja, who apparently was just noticing her. Doc’s eyes widened.

“Oh, hello, Daisy!”

“Hi, Doctor.”

Barely skipping a beat, Doc pulled out yet another bottle of champagne, popping it violently, sending another flurry of alcoholic bubbles to spill onto the already sticky floor.

“CONGRATULATIONS DAISY, YOU BAGGED A BABE!”

Dr. McNinja raised his hand again, this time demanding a high-five from Daisy. Unlike her boyfriend, Daisy shyly met the doctor’s outstretched hand. Doc responded with delighted whooping noises, and Peter put his head in both of his hands as his face grew even paler. Daisy started blushing, but she only covered her mouth before shyly thanking the doctor. Doc hugged the both of them, squeezing them tightly around the shoulders.

“I know we barely know each other, Daisy, but good God I was hoping things were gonna work out between you two,” Doc said with a delighted smile between the couple’s heads, “I’m SO happy for you.”

“I appreciate that,” Daisy chuckled, “But uh… that’s not why we’re here.”

Peter nodded as Doc finally released them from the hug. “Daisy was telling me over breakfast about some of her experimental plants-“

“YOU GUYS HAD BREAKFAST TOGETHER?” Doc squirmed, “UGH YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE”

Peter scowled as Daisy chuckled. “Doctor, please focus.”

Dr. McNinja cleared his throat and nodded fervently. “Yes, yes, of course. What is it you wanted to discuss?”

“It’s about the Punisher,” Daisy said, “And what I can do to help.”

Dr. McNinja’s eyes widened as he glanced at Peter. Peter nodded grimly, and Doc blinked twice.

“Well, damn, I really set up the wrong mood here,” Doc said, “Here, why don’t you come to my office.”

Doc spun around and walked off. Peter stepped over the puddle of sparkling wine on the ground, and offered Daisy his hand. Daisy took it and stepped over the mess, smiling at him. Her duffle bag swung heavily as she did.

“You know, you don’t need to do this,” Peter muttered to her, “I know you’re nervous.”

Daisy swallowed hard. “You trust him, right?”

Peter nodded. “With my life. Not with my emotional health, but that’s neither here nor there.”

Daisy giggled, then nodded. “And I trust you. So this is the right thing to do.”

Daisy opened the duffle bag, revealing the pile of power-up plants inside. Peter inspected it curiously.

“It’s why I grew these,” Daisy said, “I was just… looking for the right person.”

Peter nodded with a smile. “Okay.”

Daisy squinted at him. “By the way, I noticed you didn’t need permission to enter this building?”

“Oh, I live here.”

“You live in the death clinic?”

“Yeah, downstairs,” Peter said, pulling Daisy to Doc’s office, “I’ll show you my room later. Don’t wander by yourself, the entire basement is trapped.”

“Well, whatever would we do in your room, Mr. Pellbrook?”

Daisy gave him a flirtatious look, which Peter responded to by rolling his eyes and pulling her in by the waist. The couple walked into Doc’s office. Peter started thinking about what else needed to be done today. He’d have to clean up the lobby’s welcome party nonsense, but after that, Peter had nothing to do for the night.

His eyes met Daisy’s as he held her in his arms.

The thought filled him with a sense of comfort.