Roijin Character Application

Cassius Promen

Seasoned Realm Traveler
Level 1
Joined
Aug 24, 2019
Messages
6
Essence
€2,402
Coin
₡2,000
Tokens
0
World
Kraw
Profile
Click Here
User name: Roijin

Have you read the rules? Yes

Character Name: Cassius Promen

Character Source: OC

Starting Location: Kraw

Physical Tendencies:
Physical Tendencies (Total should be 100%, only multiples of 5% please)
Power(P): 30%
Toughness(T): 10%
Quickness(Q): 20%
Skill(S): 40%

Personality Tendencies:
Personality Tendencies (Total should be 100%, only multiples of 5% please)
Aggression(A): 5%
Cunning(C): 45%
Diplomacy(D): 25%
Support(S): 25%

Physical Description:

An average 21-year-old with nothing particularly interesting about him. He is about 177 cm tall with short brown hair. Being indoors most of his life has left his skin being quite pale. His dark brown eyes are always behind some thin rimmed glasses. His signature style is always a jacket over a plain t-shirt with some jeans and sneakers to finish the look.

Character History:

Cassius was an awkward, quite person for most of his life. Not one for parties or clubs, he rather spend his evenings in front of his monitor and working on his rich, fictional world. His course in life would allow him to continue on this lifestyle without any problems if it weren't for the tunnel that transported him to a fantasy realm, very much similar to the one who concocted in his book.
What started off as a mission to find his way home, quickly evolved to him finding out about his role, nay, destiny to vanquish the rotten king, Moros, who was corrupting the land. This was when he went through his own hero's journey and came out victorious, changing his life and himself forever.
Basically, being sucked up into another world is no longer a foreign concept to him.

Abilities/Skills:

Abilities:


Hope (total 550)
Damage 2 (200)
--removable (-100)
Agility (200)
--removable (-50)
Protection 2 (200)
--removable (-100)
--ongoing (200)
The sword used by Cassius during his final confrontation to slay the Rotten King, Moros. A single edged falchion with a handle shaped like lion, used to be a catalyst for magic spells and itself empowered with magic, being in the crossed roads seemed to have diminished its power. Now, it is merely a normal falchion, well balanced and well crafted but lacking a bit off a punch when compared to more sizeable blades, makes up for it in speed. The energy within this new has seemed to give it a new set of abilities, mainly buffing the wielder's Agility and protection.

Light of Hope (total 300)
Agility (200)
--Ranged (50)
--Finite (-50)
--Activation (-50)
--Side Effect (tiring) (-50)

Protection (100)
--Ranged (50)
--Ongoing (100)
--Finite (-50)
--Activation (-50)

Communication (100)
--Ranged (50)
--Finite (-50)
--Activation (-50)

Using Hope as a catalyst, Cassius can channel his magic through the sword and blast an ally with magic energy, giving them a portion of his power for a few minutes at the cost of his own energy and stamina. This also allows the caster and target to communicate telepathically with one another, linking their minds for a few minutes. It requires about 10 seconds for the transference to finish.

Cassius' friend from his home earth, completely out of her depth and is in a constant of confusion and anxiety of everything that it going on in the crossroads. She is currently along for the ride while holding on some vague hope that they could return home soon.
Summon (300)


Copy of Hope (100)
Damage 2 (200)
--removable (-100)
--Limited (proximity) (-100)

When in times of need, Cassius can channel his magic to forge a temporary copy of hope to give to Fae. It does roughly the same amount of damage but without all of its buffs. This sword, while tangeable and real, would only manifest and be usable if the original Hope is nearby and intact.

Master Skills:
Arcana 2 (100)
-Consumable Discount (250)
After his first adventure in the world of Kelram, cassius has figured out that he has an innate ability to sense and manipulate magic to a certain extent. Though his control in this new world is far from it previous was in Kelram. He can however use this skill to aid in the creation of consumables involving magic.

How much Essence did you spend? 1600

How much Essence do you have left? 400

Were you referred by an existing member? Nope
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Ahana Varma

General of Neo New Babylon
Staff member
Level 4
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
44
Essence
€14,747
Coin
₡27,464
Tokens
300
World
Inverxe
Profile
Click Here
Hi there, and welcome to Multerra.
Before your character can be approved, there are just a few details about your Abilities/Skills which we'll need to go through.

Hope (total 350)
Damage 2 (100)
--removable (-50)
Agility (150)
--removable (-50)
Protection 2 (100)
--removable (-50)

The sword used by Cassius during his final confrontation to slay the Rotten King, Moros. A single edged falchion with a handle shaped like lion, used to be a catalyst for magic spells and itself empowered with magic, being in the crossed roads seemed to have diminished its power. Now, it is merely a normal falchion, well balanced and well crafted but lacking a bit off a punch when compared to more sizeable blades, makes up for it in speed. The energy within this new has seemed to give it a new set of abilities, mainly buffing the wielder's Agility and protection.
Based on the way you've phrased your description, it sounds to me like you want the Protection Effect to passively increase his durability. If that's the case then you will need to take an Ongoing Modifier (100 Essence per rank) for that Effect, as Protection does not have Ongoing by default (unlike Agility).

Also, while you have calculated the total cost of the Ability correctly, the costs shown beside each Effect/Modifier should be the total for the Effect rank you are buying, so as you have taken Damage 2 & Protection 2, the costs written beside those Effects and their Modifiers should really be double what you've written.


Light of Hope (total 200)
Agility (200)
--Ranged (50)
--Finite (-50)
--Activation (-50)
--Side Effect (-50)

Protection (100)
--Ranged (50)
--Finite (-50)
--Activation (-50)

Communication (100)
--Ranged (50)
--Finite (-50)
--Activation (-50)

Using Hope as a catalyst, Cassius can channel his magic through the sword and blast an ally with magic energy, giving them a portion of his power for a few minutes at the cost of his own energy and stamina. It requires about 10 seconds for the transference to finish.
Based on the description, this Ability really doesn't need a Communication Effect, so you can just remove that. Unless there is something else that you want it to do, and you've just forgotten to add sentence or two explaining that?

Also, as with Hope, Protection will need an Ongoing Modifier. Without that, your Protection buff won't last more than a few seconds.


Fae
Cassius' friend from his home earth, completely out of her depth and is in a constant of confusion and anxiety of everything that it going on in the crossroads. She is currently along for the ride while holding on some vague hope that they could return home soon.
Ally (300)
This Effect is called "Summon" (or "Summoning"), not "Ally", so you'll need to change it. It doesn't matter if your character doesn't actually summon the allied character, that's just the name of the Effect. It'd get pretty confusing if everyone started calling their Effects different things from the official names, so we all have to stick to those when writing Effects/Modifiers lists for our characters' Abilities.


Copy of Hope
Damage 2 (200)
--removable (-50)
--Limited (-50)

When in times of need, Cassius can channel his magic to forge a temporary copy of hope to give to Fae. It does roughly the same amount of damage but without all of its buffs.
You've written the correct number beside the Damage Effect this time, but still only used the rank 1 values for Removable & Limited. While it's true that the cost of the Effect isn't actually any different from what it would be if those values were accurate (due to the rule about Effect costs not being able to be lowered to less than 50 Essence per rank), it's still better to use the correct numbers in the price tags beside each Modifier. Also, Limited Modifiers need to be accompanied by a specific limitation written beside the Modifier name. So, for example, you could have:

Damage 2 (200)
--Removable (-100)
--Limited (pure evil) (-100)

And that would give you a sword which could only harm people who were pure evil. In order to qualify for a Limited Modifier, an Effect must be reduced to below 50% effectiveness, at the bare minimum. That said, if you don't like the idea of adding such a requirement to the sword, you can just remove that Modifier with no negative consequences, as it isn't saving you any Essence anyway, since it's impossible for a Damage 2 Effect to ever cost less than 100 Essence, no matter how many negative Modifiers you take.


Arcana (100)
-Consumable Discount (300)
After his first adventure in the world of Kelram, cassius has figured out that he has an innate ability to sense and manipulate magic to a certain extent. Though his control in this new world is far from it previous was in Kelram. He can however use this skill to aid in the creation of consumables involving magic.
I'm unsure what the rank of this Skill is supposed to be, so could you please include a rank number beside Arcana (if you would like it to be rank 1 then this isn't really necessary, but in that case the cost will need changed).

All Master Skills cost 50 Essence per rank, and all Perks cost 300 Essence per rank when taken alone. If they're taken alongside a Skill, however, then they only cost 250 Essence per rank (so the cost of 1 Skill rank + 1 Perk rank is the exact same as the cost of 1 Perk rank on its own).

So Arcana 1 + Consumable Discount 1 would only cost 300 Essence in total. For a total of 400 Essence, as you've written here, you could actually buy Arcana 3 + Consumable Discount 1 (unlike the Modifiers of Effects, Perks associated with Skills don't need to be of the same rank as the Skill they're paired with; they can also be of lower rank).


---

Once you've taken a look through my notes above, please edit your first post with the required changes and then comment here to let us know when you have done so.
 

Ahana Varma

General of Neo New Babylon
Staff member
Level 4
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
44
Essence
€14,747
Coin
₡27,464
Tokens
300
World
Inverxe
Profile
Click Here
It's almost able to be approved now, there are just another few tiny changes needed (sorry).

Hope (total 450)
Damage 2 (200)
--removable (-100)
Agility (200)
--removable (-50)
Protection 2 (200)
--removable (-100)
--ongoing (100)
The sword used by Cassius during his final confrontation to slay the Rotten King, Moros. A single edged falchion with a handle shaped like lion, used to be a catalyst for magic spells and itself empowered with magic, being in the crossed roads seemed to have diminished its power. Now, it is merely a normal falchion, well balanced and well crafted but lacking a bit off a punch when compared to more sizeable blades, makes up for it in speed. The energy within this new has seemed to give it a new set of abilities, mainly buffing the wielder's Agility and protection.
You've priced Ongoing at 100 Essence, but it's actually more expensive than most other Modifiers; this one is 100 per rank, so for a rank 2 Effect like your Protection, it will actually cost 200 Essence in total. So the full cost of Hope will be 550 Essence.


Light of Hope (total 250)
Agility (200)
--Ranged (50)
--Finite (-50)
--Activation (-50)
--Side Effect (-50)

Protection (100)
--Ranged (50)
--Ongoing (50)
--Finite (-50)
--Activation (-50)

Communication (100)
--Ranged (50)
--Finite (-50)
--Activation (-50)

Using Hope as a catalyst, Cassius can channel his magic through the sword and blast an ally with magic energy, giving them a portion of his power for a few minutes at the cost of his own energy and stamina. This also allows the caster and target to communicate telepathically with one another, linking their minds for a few minutes. It requires about 10 seconds for the transference to finish.
As with Limited, Side-Effect is one of those Modifiers that needs a little more information provided for it in the Effects list itself. I assume the Side-Effect you are referring to is that this costs him energy/stamina to use. If so, you can just write it like this:

--Side-Effect (tiring) (-50)


Copy of Hope
Damage 2 (200)
--removable (-100)
--Limited (proximity) (-100)

When in times of need, Cassius can channel his magic to forge a temporary copy of hope to give to Fae. It does roughly the same amount of damage but without all of its buffs. This sword, while tangeable and real, would only manifest and be usable if the original is intact and nearby.
As you've put a proximity limit on it, maybe you could add a note to the description that as well as being intact, the original must also be nearby? Or Cassius has to be nearby, whichever one it is.
Also, could you please add a note of the total cost to this Ability, as you have done with the others? Remember that costs can't be reduced below 50 Essence per rank, so even though you have two -100 Modifiers, this Ability still costs 100 Essence. So the first line would be:

Copy of Hope (total 100)


How much Essence did you spend? 1350

How much Essence do you have left? 250
Your starting Essence is actually 2000, rather than 1600, so you have quite a bit more than 250 to spare, if you would like to add anything else.
Once you're done making changes, please make sure to update these numbers. Thanks.


---


As before, if you could just post to let us know when you've made the changes, someone will take another look at your application and hopefully we'll be able to get you approved next time.
 

Ahana Varma

General of Neo New Babylon
Staff member
Level 4
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
44
Essence
€14,747
Coin
₡27,464
Tokens
300
World
Inverxe
Profile
Click Here
There was also an Ongoing Effect on Light of Hope which was still priced at 50 Essence:
Light of Hope (total 250)
Agility (200)
--Ranged (50)
--Finite (-50)
--Activation (-50)
--Side Effect (tiring) (-50)

Protection (100)
--Ranged (50)
--Ongoing (50)
--Finite (-50)
--Activation (-50)

Communication (100)
--Ranged (50)
--Finite (-50)
--Activation (-50)

Using Hope as a catalyst, Cassius can channel his magic through the sword and blast an ally with magic energy, giving them a portion of his power for a few minutes at the cost of his own energy and stamina. This also allows the caster and target to communicate telepathically with one another, linking their minds for a few minutes. It requires about 10 seconds for the transference to finish.
As it was the only thing left, and it was such a small change, I just adjusted that for you, to save some time. So your character is approved now.
You can post in Character Profiles and then start writing whenever you'd like.
 
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