Okay, cool, they were definitely going into the totally not at all haunted house. Not that they had much of an option; the damn thing kept materializing right in front of them. They came to a wrought iron gate and behind said gate the house loomed down at them from a hill. It looked like an old man. Overgrown vines climbed along the gutters, giving it the appearance of having one angry-as-fuck unibrow. The jagged remains of railing surrounded an off-keel porch like shattered teeth. If they weren’t in the middle of a blood sport Amalia might’ve felt sorry for the poor thing. A terrible screech filled the air as Nico pried the gate open. Amalia gripped her lighter tight, surely every monster in the city was on their way now.
“This is a bad idea,” Amalia muttered as they slipped past the gate.
Nico shrugged, “Probably, but we need some rest.”
They made their way up to the house. Carefully Amalia tested her weight on the porch and the aging floorboards groaned in response. The fog had soaked into the moss-covered wood, giving the entire porch a sickly green sheen. Nico stepped past her and walked up to the door. Before she could stop him he pressed the doorbell.
DING-DONNNG DING-DONNNG DING-DONNNG
“Nico, what the fuck!?” Amalia half-whispered, “Why would you do that?”
“Don’t you think it’d be kinda rude to just walk into someone’s house unannounced?”
“No one lives here, Nico, look at this place,” She answered.
“You don’t know that.”
They both looked at the door and waited for a few seconds. When no one answered Nico reached for the doorbell again. Amalia grabbed his arm.
“Stop, just, just try the door okay?”
“Okay, fine,” He said, reaching for the doorknob, “But, for the record I still think this is pretty rude.”
Given the circumstances Amalia figured they could afford to be a little rude. As Nico opened the door, warm air rushed out past them. Inside the place appeared much nicer than Amalia expected. There were no cobwebs or dust bunnies, and the hardwood floor seemed in much better shape than the rotting porch. Still not exactly welcoming, but at least she didn’t have to worry about falling through the floor. On a table near the entrance sat a candelabra complete with a set of fresh blood-red candles. As Nico shut the door behind them she used her lighter to ignite the candles.
“This place is wild,” Nico said, “Not, like, just this house, I mean this whole place. Nothing like Dante’s Abyss.”
“You were in Dante’s Abyss?” Amalia asked.
“Yeah, it was absolutely bitchin’,” He explained, “All kinds of explosions and razzle and dazzle, the vibe was chaos and ya boy here loves him some good ol’ fashioned chaos. But, this place is all doom and gloom and general malaise, honestly it’s a drag.”
A drag was certainly one word for it. They made their way deeper into the house, guided only by candlelight. Normally such ambience would be creepy, but Amalia found the general tidiness of the place offset any bad vibes she might’ve felt. Of course her guard had yet to be completely dropped, but compared to the foggy hell outside this place was a tropical paradise. The main hallway opened up into a living room. Old-timey couches and chairs sat in a semi-circle around a central fireplace. Above the fireplace was one of those old-school portraits of some upper-crust stiff looking all elegant and shit. Books sat in a neat pile on the stand besides one of the chairs. The entire room smelled like hot breath, but so did the rest of the house.
“Hell yeah,” Nico said plopping down onto one of the couches, “A bit stuffy, but this place is pretty lit as far as haunted houses go.”
While Amalia didn’t share the sentiment she did agree that this could’ve ended up a lot worse. She made her way around the room, lighting candles and making sure there wasn’t, like, skeletons or something hiding in a corner. Once satisfied that there were, in fact, no skeletons or monsters or anything capable of swallowing them whole she sat down in one of the big chairs. Immediately she could feel just how worn out her body was. Muscles ached in places she was sure didn’t actually have any muscles and her feet throbbed like miniature hearts. Nico sat up and went through their duffle bags handing her an MRE and a bottle of water.
“Cheers,” He said, tipping his bottle towards her, “To new friendships, spooky vibes, and not getting eaten our first night on the island.”
“Uhm… cheers,” She said, tapping her bottle against his.
Amalia wasn’t entirely sure what her MRE was made of, but she ate it ravenously nonetheless. Nico followed suit, remarking at how strange it was that his meal could be both a liquid and a solid at the same time.
“So, Why’d you sign up for this?” Nico asked, swallowing a gelatinous bite, “You really don’t seem like the type that’d be interested in this sort of thing.”
“I, uhm, I didn’t…” She answered.
Nico nodded, “Ah, sorry to hear that… They didn’t give me much choice either, but hey, such is life right?”
“Yeah…” She had stopped eating, “They… they said that they could bring my sister back if I won. But… I'm not sure if that’s even possible.”
“Oh it totally is!” He said, “I mean after the Abyss, my boys did the classic profane blood ritual and traded an energy drink for my soul back, so I mean death is really just an inconvenience if you know what you’re doing.”
“That, uhm, no disrespect, but that seems awfully cheap for an entire soul.”
“Oh, yeah, no, see I’ve got this whole deal with the devil sort of thing going on, long story, but I kind of get the ‘friends and family’ discount when it comes to that sort of thing,” He explained, “I’d imagine normal people souls would cost quite a bit more.”
Good to know. They finished their meals and lounged about the living room for a while. After a spell Amalia fell into a half-sleep, only waking occasionally when Nico was fucking with the fireplace. He swore and said something about all of the logs being wet and how that was totally not ‘righteous’ and was a total ‘buzzkill’. Still, half sleep was sleep and she woke up in earnest a few hours later. The foggy night was still in full swing, but they had yet to be devoured by whatever was lurking out there. Nico was busy walking back and forth, staring at the painting above the fireplace. She yawned and reached for one of the books on the stand beside her. To her surprise the pages were completely blank. She reached for another book and found it to be the exact same as the first.
“Weird,” She remarked, looking over at Nico, “What are you doing?”
“Check this painting out,” He said, “it’s one of those paintings where the painter, like, makes it so that it’s eyes follow you around the room, it’s kind of wicked.”
Wicked wasn’t the word for it. It was downright fucking creepy. Amalia shivered thinking that the damn thing was watching her sleep. Something, however, seemed off. She scanned the painting and let out a soft gasp as she realized just what was up.
“Nico…” She said, “Those eyes… their, uhm, they’re not painted on…”
Nico paused and squinted. She was right, they were a bit too shiny and wet to just be acrylic. If he didn’t know better he’d say they were real human eyeballs. He shared a look with her before reaching up and grabbing the painting’s frame. The eyes shifted and stared directly at him, blinking once. He tugged at the painting, peeling it away from the wall with a wet squelch. Two long strands of pink and red viscera trailed from the wall behind it and connected to the back of a set of glistening and quite organic eyeballs. He yelped and dropped the painting, pulling the fleshy cables further out of the wall.
“What the fuck!” Amalia shouted, scrambling out of the chair.
The entire house groaned and shifted. Now was the time for getting the fuck out. She went to open the windows, but found them nailed shut. Nico grabbed the nightstand and jabbed it against the glass; only to find that the windows weren’t glass and were instead some sort of transparent fleshy membrane. They turned to run, but the hallway they had come in through contracted tightly like some sort of wallpapered esaphogus.
“Okay, okay,” Nico said, “Don’t panic… let’s just-”
He was interrupted by a low-pitch groan coming from the fireplace. They turned to find the fireplace had begun to convulse, stretching and closing like someone testing the muscles in their jaw. The room smelled like hot breath, because the fireplace was the house’s fucking mouth. The fireplace mouth slithered forward, stretching as if it were some sort of brick-covered snake emerging from the wall. It clicked its teeth together and lunged for Nico. It just barely missed his head as he dove out of the way.
“Okay, let’s panic,” He said, picking himself up off the ground.