The whirring hum of the dropship slowly faded at the sharp hiss of the airlock cracked open the let in a sliver of light. Grunts echoed in Mirage’s mind as he attempted to block the sun’s gaze with his arm stretched in front of him.
“Soldier! Are you slow in the head? Get over here and-”
One of the captains peered into the hold as Mirage stepped out stretching and squinting at the castle before him.
“Wait, you’re no soldier? Don’t tell me they shot us up a civilian with the normal riffraf.”
“Oh, no worries. I’m way better, twice as much because uh, y’know? Anyways, I’m Mirage, the guy that was champion in those crazy games they had last year.” The legend dusted himself off as the captain looked him over. Mirage had dressed in adventurer-like gear, decorated in red and brown over his tan outfit. He wore tight goggles on his forehead, similar to ones you might use in a dusty desert. His hair, including his facial hair, was slicked and groomed, with a ponytail that included a white stripe through it.
“I don’t remember you participating in last year’s event.”
“No, not this one. It was the other crazy one. That Karl Jak guy was there!”
The captain didn’t seem convinced.
“It was the Crana- Carsa- Carnivale Rosa! Yeah, that’s the one. Man my memory isn’t what it used to be, where am I again?”
Some gears clicked for the captain. “Ah, I see. I happened to tune in towards the end of that one. I feel like you looked quite different than you do now. I assume you know that you signed up for a War on Dante’s Comet?” The captain cocked an eyebrow at the trickster.
“Oh yeah, magic crown and everything, I do make a pretty handsome princess though, don’t I? Or pretty princess? Anyways, I guess I didn’t really read the fine print. But I’m a great squad leader, just ask Wraith or Bloodhound. Actually, are they here too?”
“You’re going to have to take that up to the Commander. Let’s go ahead and get you where you need to be.” The captain motioned to a few soldiers, giving Mirage an escort into Caer Thannith.
Mirage could hardly stay near his escorts, doubly so with his decoy joining him with his sightseeing. “Woah, didn’t even notice that we’re floating! The castle, I mean. Is that normal?” The soldiers simply ignored him as they ushered him past several doors into the main halls. Up ahead, Mirage could make out a young man in a blue uniform being addressed by other official looking military.
“Commander Roy, we found this one with the soldiers, not a part of the run of the mill, seems like the competitor type.”
“I see. Who are you, and what experience do you have,” Roy asked, unsure of who it was that seemed to be joining the Armada.
“Mirage, or Elliot if you are asking about my actual name. Champion of the Carnivale Rosa, and as good with a gun as I am good lookin’!”
The commander narrowed his eyes slightly.
“Can you lead men?”
“Lead like how?”
“Can you lead a troop of men in battle?”
“Y-yeah, sure. I don’t usually have more than a small squad, but, yeah. Don’t you worry, I can lead whoever you need wherever you gotta go. I’m a great squad leader, oh, and jumpmaster, if we get to jump in and all that,” Mirage seemed to trail off as Roy thought about his answer.
The legend’s rambling was enough to give him a quick sense of who this character was. A buffoon for sure, but it seemed that if he truly was the champion of such an event, then he should prove his use at some point or another. Perhaps he would entrust him underneath one of the other, more promising applicants for leading the armies.
“Well, we will be giving a debriefing later on today, report to the main hall and we will start shortly.”
“Gotcha!” The trickster gave a wink before trotting down the hall.
In all honesty, Mirage felt a bit unnerved, he really should have read the fine print.
War.
Just thinking about the word left a bitter taste in his mouth. No matter what, he promised his mom that he wouldn’t end up like his brothers. It was the whole reason why he was in the games, the fame, the show, all of it. And where was Wraith? He did ask if she was in the event, but as he arrived at the main hall, he saw no sign of her. She couldn’t be gone, could she? Maybe she was on the other team? But that would mean, well, it wouldn’t be the first time they were in different squads. At least he didn’t have to deal with Crypto. Still, there was a certain uneasiness in the whole situation that shook him and his decoys down to their core.
C’mon Renee, stay alive, and I will too...
***
“Unmaking schmaking, we’re the best team out of the bunch, of course we are gonna win, you guys have the champion with you, after all.” The trickster duplicated himself, his clone framing his face with his fingers before pulling out a camera. Deadpool popped up just in between them as the light flashed, making a peace sign as he posed with his side.
“There you go, get the real champion in the shot. Listen buddy, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but as the guy with the figurative,” he paused, before somehow pulling a large belt buckle with “DA Champion” out of his… pants? “And quite literally, Dante’s Abyss Champion Original Premium Belt of the Solar System. I believe I have you outdone.”
“Alright, you got some moves, but I still got the looks.” Mirage pulled out and flipped his trophy, nearly dropping it in the process.
“Well, it’s always the looks isn’t it?" Deadpool seemed to fake some tears, hurt by the legend's words. "If I could be anything other than a super mutated ballsack with crazy katana skills, I might consider it for a moment. But you can’t blame me for looking good in red!”
Gamzee simply stared at the two as they spoke, turning slowly from one to another before turning to Nico beside him.
“Hey brother, are you getting any of what these guys are saying?”
“Mostly just a couple dudes who can’t pull their head out of their ass, and I’m stuck with a clown who looks like he ate a whole bag of gummy edibles before signing up for a two-front war for company.”
“That sounds freaky fresh, brother.”
“Yeah, if that's what you want to call it.”
Roy continued to give a speech to the group, designating different roles and asking questions based on the skills they possessed. It seemed that Mirage was going to be working underneath the General himself, along with Deadpool and a few others.
Mirage began to swagger a bit as the group formed before-
“No, you don’t get to make any jokes about being the Champion squad, dead joke Mirage! You’ve used it like seven times today! It’s war time!”
The legend simply scratched the back of his head and gave a nervous chuckle. “What, is that bad? I thought it was great?”