The "Power Feelings" (2k24)

[Karl Jak]

As in the past, preshow Power Rankings (a concept used in sports and other stuff to rank teams less on tangible things like Win-Loss records and more so on analyst’s attempting to incorporate other, intangible factors as well) should not be taken as an indictment on your writing capabilities, as these are entirely ‘in universe’ quips from the host of the show. They are based primarily on preshow activity with some nonexistent points for what your character was up to during the preshow, hence why people who joined super late or didn’t participate much are nearer the bottom. Characters who are 'known commodities' will also get bonuses here over unknowns, unless that unknown has been on a roll during the preshow. I know not many of you are sports people, but these rankings are kind of like pre-season rankings for sport’s teams.

The next Power Rankings will come… let’s say either halfway through Day 1 or at the start of Day 2. I want to see how much goes on the first few days before I commit to either option. The next set of Power Rankings will rely primarily upon: Gear (weapon or support item), any injuries, any partnerships, and your character [I have a blurb in the rules if you want to read more on this].

***

WELCOME TO THE POWER FEELINGS​

38. Star Eater – Ketkin, you’re lookin’ a little janky, bud.

37. Sophia – Healer? In DA? Gross.

36. Yuuka Kazami -- Oh, so this explains why the greenhouse always felt haunted.

35. Chron Horol - Literally still standing on the other side of the door, technically.

34. Red-13 – May be ‘the best boy’ around but is your heart it in?

33. Yu Kanda – You kanda best be ready for showtime

32. Jason Voorhees – Dude been alive on this island for like 9 years. #GOAT

31. Tommy Oliver – You might need to re-find some of that evil, 90s edge to survive in here.

30. Aku – AKU IS HERE

29. Broli – The biggest of these ‘OGs’ isn’t necessarily the worst one

28. Lord Zedd – Someone gets to kill two Zedds for the price of one. Envious.

27. Gildarts – Not the strongest, legally-speaking, but those rugged looks probably worth even more nowadays.

26. John Connor – Who will be *your* salvation, Connor?

25. Bardock – Probably too angry to be alive.

24. Don Isaac – Might be out of his element without giant boom-boom pow

23. Android 18 – You’re probably fondly recalling that one time you were the only native of ‘your universe’ here, aren’t you?

22. Jar Jar Binks – Meesa don’t trust this one. Scaw-ee. Always the silly ones.

21. Raditzu – Your speed means nothing when it’s death that you’re running from.

20. Celipa – The 1980s would like their fashion sense back.

19. Arc Lalatoya - KYUUU

18. Proto Mouse – Two-for-one-deal? Sounds illegal.

17. Lilith – She’s rarely on bottom (on the middle?) for long though. Watch out for when the blood starts.

16. Beatrix – I’m already at my quota for blood puns. Try again next year.

15. Democles – Rumor has it this dude has a legion stashed under his hat. Big if true.

14. Graw – Is nostalgia really bubble-gum themed? Can someone prove this?

13. Sasuke – Edgiest number for edgiest person.

12. Rogue – Actual southern naer-do-well

11. Boros – Eye see you.

10. Demetri – I also see you. You must be a terrible thief. (but if you’re a good thief, please come steal these Mirage action figures so I can get the insurance money)

09. Toga – The number thirteen was taken. My bad, sis.

08. Orion – Look, it’s the saiyan that isn’t a walking caricature of one thing or the other.

07. William Birkin – Untrustworthy scientist naer-do-well (boy is there a treat for you, Willy B)

06. Erik Vrell – Dude ATE his vitamins and said ALL THE prayers.

05. Gilgamesh – Everyone’s favorite fool’s gold of a final boss (although I learned not to trust any of you a few years ago).

04. Arthur Morgan – Standard starting location on the feelings for untrustworthy southern naer-do-wells

03. Ben – Been here 3 minutes and already trying to out-compete Gilgamesh for charitable donations. Some dudes just have a vibe, y’know.

02. Nico Cinder – Speaking of dudes and vibes. This psychopath going on a FOURTH trip. (we miss your assortment of insane friends though <3)

01. Nealaphh – I’m not sure what’s scarier – the terrifying, eldritch abomination or the pseudo-teenage vampire whose body he hijacked (she wasn’t an adolescent? Are we sure?)

 

[Karl Jak]

WELCOME TO THE POWER FEELINGS, Day 1 edition. All feelings are those of Karl Jak (the character), not be confused with “Karl Jak” (the person who runs Karl’s accounts on Discord and Multerra). Again, this list is not an indictment of your writing.

41. (Down 12) Broli – I want to use the phrase ‘Trap Game’, but I know many viewers are less familiar with sports euphamisms and more familiar with our recently retired ‘trap’, Toga. I digress.

40. The Rock – Nothing worse than wondering when you’re going to move to the wrong square and wind up in the squared circle.

39. (Down 5) Red-13 – Will any dimension of reality ever deduce the identity of the person who let the dogs out?

38. (Down 6) Jason Voorhees – Someone in billing please add the cost of the Jason translocator to Toga’s account and deduct it from her allowance.

37. (Down 12) Don Isaac – Once a gentleman, always a gentleman

36. (Down 13) Sasuke Uchiha – Spite can only keep you alive for so long.

35. (Up 1) Star Eater – Did this thing find a friend? Is that legal?

34. (Down 6) Lord Zedd – What we said about Sasuke, only with less people hoping it’s sooner rather than later

33. (Down 2) Tommy Oliver – What’s going to spur this guy forward? Feel like he needs a friend.

32. (Down 21) Boros – Can you honestly imagine if our friend here had something other than his fists? Sleep easier knowing that’s not the case.

31. (Up 6) Chron Horol – How’s the camping trip?

30. (Down 4) John Connor – Do we not have a memory? Do we not know what happens when Connor goes ghost mode? Guy is so egregious he ain’t even roleplaying this time around!
29. (Up 12) Vanitas – Don’t let this guy get in your head.
28. Demetri (Down 18) – If I had my two cents, you would at least have a meat shield friend like most of these’s other yahoos. Don’t worry, their fake friendships are mostly just mirages … they’ll be alone soon, too!
27. (Down 2) Bardock – Still explosive, after all these years.
26. (Up 9) Sophia – What is she, in temple still?
25. (Up 2) Gildarts – A bit more sullen and brooding but still just as shiny and punchy as always.
24. (Down 5) Arc Lalatoya – While I’m glad that ‘jus bones’ is a lot less messy, you might want to try sharpening one or two of those into shivs or something.
23. (Up 14) Yuuka Kazami – This comment section is sponsored by Pepsi™. Have you thought about your hydration needs for the day? Do you know that Pepsi can provide sustained, pleasing hydration for life on the go? Are you aware the average person sweats sometimes? And that sweat makes you lose liquid from your body? When that happens, you need to make sure you keep yourself hydrated with a delicious Pepsi™ product. Inquires please fax Mr. Bepis at Pepsi-Co., LTD HQ. For catering needs, please press 2. For franchise opportunities, please press 5.
22. Rogue – Mental illness in a survival island event was soooo 16 years ago, Ma’am.
21. (Up 1) Jar Jar Binks – Heesa havin’ okay day? Mebee?
20. (Up 1) Raditzu – Hey, sometimes old comforts are hard to discard? I guess?
19. (Up 19) Cho – Sometimes gotta keep that dreamer Yu Kanda grounded in the here and now and not off chasin’ ghosts or whatever he does.
18. (Down 3) Democles – … bro has a dude-summoning flag. How is that legal? Can I have a dude summoning flag?
17. (Down 3) Arthur Morgan – We sure that’s Wade? He doesn’t play well with others…
16. (Up 7) Android 18 – We don’t judge, girl (maybe Rogue, but we understand avoiding her, she’s crazy)
15. (Up 1) Beatrix III – Blood for blood rings different in this context, huh
14. Graoarwawr – I hope you washed your hands after playing with those marbles.
13. (Down 5) Orion – Listen, Rogue already cornering the market on talking to herself (oh, a dollie? … doesn’t that just make us feel worse though?)
12. (Down 9) Ben – Listen, no one judges you trying to find a partner closer to your age to help you with your other friend. Very admirable!
11. (Up 9) Celipa – I find your lack of the appropriate theme … disturbing.
10. (Up 23) Yu Kanda – There’s no friendly fire on that thing, y’know.
09. (Up 8) Lilith – Rock(et) Star!
08. (Down 1) William Birkin – DRUGS ARE BAD.
07. (Down 6) Nealaphh – If only ‘I am the Weapon’ was a legal play in Dante’s Abyss, we’re fairly certain it’d be GG for many, many of you.
06. (Up 3) Toga – Girl Interrupted.
05. (Down 3) Nico Cinder – Still can’t get over you being too cool for school. Sam would be so sad.
04. (Up 14) Proto Mouse – Who let them get a giant machine gun AND lesbian wizards? Please. Apologize.
03. (Up 27) Aku – Two machetes. Serial Killer Powers. Malefactor. Yea, what could go wrong.
01. (Up 5) Erik Vrell and 01. (Up 4) Gilgamesh – What a powerful tag team. If only there was a former tag team champion on this island wanting a partner willing to step up and stop these mega powers in their tracks. If only. Until then, I guess we’re just along for this appropriately masculine partnership between a man and his King.

 

[Karl Jak]

WELCOME TO THE POWER FEELINGS, Day 2 edition. All feelings are those of Karl Jak (the character), not be confused with “Karl Jak” (the person who runs Karl’s accounts on Discord and Multerra). Again, this list is not an indictment of your writing nor is it to be taken all that seriously

41. (Down 3) Jason Voorhees – Has had everything stolen from him except his wife. Truly the Byronian hero of our legend.

40. (Down 8) Tommy Oliver – The Abyss has broken stronger people than you. Rest easy (and you can expect an email from our ‘Outreach Department’ in 7-10 business days.

39. (Down 2) Don Isaac – *crying_salute.gif*

38. (Down 2) Sasuke Uchiha – Yea no one crying here.

37. (Down 12) Gildarts – Should have just punched little dude out (but we get it)

36. (Up 5) Broli – That’s one way to go out with a bang.

35. Star Eater – Don’t worry. I’m told they already sent the scraps back down the R&D.

34. (Down 6) Demetri – Stole all our hearts. Rest in power, Prince.

33. (Up 6) Red XIII – You were a good boy.

32. (Down 18) The Future Warrior – Thank you for being a friend.

31. (Down 20) Celipa – Pains me to say… we heard the bell.

30. (Down 4) Sophia – That’s one way to avoid a commitment
29. (Up 11) The Rock – Yes, Dwayne, please continue to make your own rules.

28. (Up 1) Vanitas – The Great Destructor of Rome himself

27. (Down 3) Arc Lalatoya – Love is the greatest gift one can give <3

26. (Up 1) Bardock – Might run out of dynamite, but then I’d hate to see what he resorts to after that.

25. (Up 7) Boros – I feel like this guy been taking headshots for 48 hours straight. And they say Dwayne juices*

24. (Down 3) Jar Jar Binks – Sometimes bad luck is good luck. Sometimes no luck is the only luck you need.

23. (Up 11) Lord Zedd – Anger keeps him warm at night.

22. (Down 17) Nico Cinder – Rock and roll never DIES

21. (Up 10) Chron Horol – A twist in time.

20. (Down 3) Arthur Morgan – Probably would have betrayed those girls, but at least he wouldn’t have … you know.

19. (Up 11) John Connor – Well at least he’s showed up this time.

18. (Up 5) Yuuka Kazami – [Intro music playing, upbeat and catchy. very chic. very gen-alpha.]

[Scene opens to a bustling city street, people of all ages going about their day being far too happy given all the people ... (no one likes that)]

Narrator: "In a world that never stops moving, where every moment counts, there's one thing that keeps you energized, refreshed, and hydrated."

[Cut to an old-but-youngish (?) lady with green hair walking briskly down the street, looking determined and very age-positive]

Narrator: "Introducing Pepsi, the ultimate companion for your journey. With its crisp, refreshing taste and exhilarating FIZZ, Pepsi is the only Support Item you need for that boost to take on anything … or anyone." [DRAMATIC CLANG] [JUMP CUT DRAMATICDCIALY]

[Cut to a group of friends enjoying a picnic in the park, laughing and having fun]

Narrator: "Whether you're out with friends, trying not to be brutally murdered, or simply taking a moment to scream internally, PepsiCo products are there to fuel your passion and drive your spirit."

[Cut to a montage of characters from different universes and walks of life, each enjoying a Pepsi in their own unique way - at a concert, on a road trip, at a family barbecue, over a corpse]

Narrator: "So why settle for anything less? Choose Pepsi and seize the day with every sip. Pepsi. Live for now."

[Closing shot of a refreshing glass of Pepsi with condensation glistening on the side, accompanied by the Pepsi logo and slogan]

Narrator: "The taste of now. Pepsi."

Narrator: “… can this be over? I’ve done fifteen of these.”

“You signed a contract, Kazami! Now do it again with more of LA PASSIONE”

17. (Up 3) Raditzu – Somehow getting dumber by the minute?

16. (Up 3) Cho –

15. (Up 3) Democles – Down but not out. Rome in the 5th century, it would seem.

14. (Down 2) Ben – (has he found the milk cache on the island tho)

13. (Up 3) Android 18 – Blondes do have more fun.

12. (Up 10) Rogue –

11. (Up 2) Orion – Finish the hat-trick.

10. (Down 1) Lilith – Hospice nurse for the dementia-addled is an interest resume add

09. (Up 1) Yu Kanda – You know. A bit angry. Probably one of the people with all their screws still there. Maybe.

07. (Down 7) Hierophant – “All right, Brother, we’re gonna turn down the Great One. We’re gonna stride our candy asses out onto this island on a hunt. We’re gonna settle for killing a cripple in an iron lung and a dog and then get our jabroni asses beat down by a teddy bear. (Who booked this?!)”

06. (Up 9) Beatrix III – Now, consider this. Your wife is dead. You’re down in the dumps. We see the glimmer in your eyes. It’s time to set aside the blood. Blood is so 00s, okay? No one wants vamp-lady energy.

Still with us?

Okay. Here us out. We know you like the taste, okay? The bubble. The fizz. The hole it fills in the hearts.

Join us.

Hemokinesis? Biatch please. Edge, much!?

Become the Pepsimancer.

Fulfil your destiny and come to the hydrated side of the Force.

05. (Down 2) Toga - Last Voorhees standing. Last (grand edition of) Dante’s Abyss. Can she do it?

04. (Up 4) Willy B – See, Birkin? *This* could have been a great second career for you. Put all that frustration to something POSITIVE, my guy.

03. (Up 1) Proto Mouse – I want to come here and make a gag about why people let this mouse get away with always giving Gilgamesh super powers. I hope that you new best friend Hierophant isn’t also critically weak versus cowboy bullets to the head.

02. (Up 4) (¿) Elise (?) – Forget what we said about vamp-ladies. We’ll make an exception.

01. (Up 2) Aku – Yikes, y’all. You’re feeding this thing now?

 

[Karl Jak]

WELCOME TO THE POWER FEELINGS, Day 3 edition. All feelings are those of Karl Jak (the character), not be confused with “Karl Jak” (the person who runs Karl’s accounts on Discord and Multerra). Again, this list is not an indictment of your writing nor is it to be taken all that seriously

30. (Down 14) Cho – Feels like this guy died 3 week ago. That said, we here at Syntech salute anyone who opts to destroy themselves in literal lava. Unless you get killed by a boulder-punching asshole in the process. Since YOU probably can punch boulders, we’ll call it aight.

29. (Down 2) Arc Lalatoya – There are no bones about it, you did good, skelebro. Rest in (large) piece.

28. (Down 3) Boros – “The views expressed by the Carbonated Phoenix belong solely to here and do not reflect the views of Pepsicola, LLC.

27. (Up 1) Vanitas – I never knew keys could have so much EDGE.

26. (Down 17) Yu Kanda – *SALUTE*

25. (Down 6) John Connor – I guess we didn’t program this one well enough to lay low for a few more days. Someone’s getting fired in Technical!

24. (Up 2) Bardock – I can’t imagine that tastes great. Probably too much sodium and gristle.

23. (Up 1) Jar Jar Binks – We only regret you didn’t find Zedd ranting and raving beneath a grand piano or an anvil or something.

22. Nico Cinder – It’s been a fun (Harley?) ride the last four seasons, Mr. Cinder. Until we meet again.

21. (Up 2) Lord Zedd – I’ve heard that he’s off to find a third Zedd to reconstitute himself. Big, if true.

20. (Up 1) Chron Horol – Listen I know a guy on Erde if you need to join a ‘I’ve died a dozen+ times and the grind never ends’ support group.

19. (Down 2) Raditzu – I’m sure, wherever you are, there’s tacos and waffles and all is at peace again.

18. (Down 5) Android 18 – Follow the white rabbit, Ma’am

T-16. (Up 14) Sophia & T-16. (Up 13) The Rock – I’m heard you can catch everyone’s favorite odd-ball Mixed Tag Team Champions on the upcoming season of Crossroads Wrestling.

15. Democles – Broke and directionless. Nevertheless, the Legion endures. Much like the glory of Rome itself. (Have *you* thought about the Roman Empire today yet?)

T-13. (Up 1) Ben – Mr. Ben, we’re being to sense a trend. Please place the sentient sword-boi on the ground and back away, Sir.
T-13. (Up 5) Yuuka Kazami – Hey, there are things that even Pepsi can’t fix. Probably. Maybe.

12. (Down 1) Orion – I’m heard the last saiyan standing is always the worst one to put down.

11. (Down 1) Rogue – The fact that I’m fairly certain I set you up perfectly and you never once RKO’d someone is a crime against humanity.

10. (Down 1) Lilith – I mean. In another time and another place, I’m sure the OG Mr. Head and Miss Lil would probably make a fun power couple. So much BDSM to go around for everyone!

09. (Down 3) “P” – Listen. You couldn’t have waiting just ONE MORE PHASE to do that. I could have made another long-winded and cryptic foreshadowing.

07. Hierophant – For what it’s worth, at least they killed actual people this time around.

06. (Down 2) “G” – No one ever believes Ronny when he warns them that it’s bad to commit intellectual property crimes.

05. (Up 15) Arthur Morgan – The Wild West never dies (we think – results may vary)

04. Nealaphh – How messed up is it when *this* thing is the monster-beast-creature with the least questionable traits?

03. (Up 2) Toga – How many love stories does this island need.

02. (Up 1) Proto Mouse – Hey, at least this time you outlived your island friend? That’s growth, right?

01. Aku – Who knew the gap between lunch and dinner was THIIIISSSS long. Sad!

 

[Karl Jak]

(yea I have terrible equipment, so I'm sorry <3)