Hello all, This is a mini "event" I am running that is driven by user commands.
The story follows Deadpool in his attempt to murder the shit outta Darkseid. Unfortunately, as a roleplay forum character and an NPC, he requires assistance on figuring out just what to do in order to accomplish this.
Deadpool's actions will be guided by user commands. Be as absurd as you like. Whatever you suggest doesn't even need to be mentioned/implied in the posts I create.
Example: ">bake a cake." BUT DO IT IN QUOTE TAGS.
I will take the first post offered in response to this thread, write what happens, and then wait for a new post containing a command. This means if you send one in after the first person to reply, I’m not using it. If you send a reply to this thread and it DOES get written, please let someone else have a turn before you try again. Unless it's been like two days before someone else has sent one, then you can just go ahead.
You can also (try to) make him do things, like join Dante’s Abyss. Which is probably something he will totally do anyway.
Please keep in mind that I will not be in a rush to do this thread if I have other posts to write or don't feel like it. Thank you.
YOUR NAME IS
RYAN REYNOLDS.
Deadpool.
So there you are, standing in your living room, which just so happens to be a glorified cardboard box floating in space.
Weird? Yeah. Freaking cool? Hell yes.
The apartment has an avant-garde, midlife crisis vibe to it; typical Syntech Corporation energy, really. It's a spacious area, minimalistic in design but maximalistic in absurdity. Colorful posters from every corner of the universe (and several other, less interesting universes) grace the chipped plaster walls, all of them signed, "To Wade, with absolutely no love, [Insert Superhero Here].”
Your coffee table is littered with yesterday’s Chinese food—you think so, anyway. Funny thing is, you can't remember what day it was. Or is. Is it even yesterday or is it tomorrow?
Time is a flat tortilla in space, just like your cardboard box. And baby, you’re the beans.
The centerpiece of your coffee table is a well-thumbed copy of Fifty Shades of Grey, dog-eared on the page where Christian Grey goes to Home Depot for gloves, tie downs, lubricant, rope and chains.
You've got a thing for DIY home improvement erotica.
Don't ask, lol.
The living room has several doors, each leading to unremarkable places like your closet, bathroom, whatever. And then there’s the one that leads to… well, you don’t actually know where that door leads, but you have a weird feeling about it. Duck Lady doesn't even know what that's about.
And let's not forget the windows! Nebulae and stars swirling past, alight with colors not even Crayola could dream up. It’s probably supposed to be majestic as hell, but instead it’s just a little nausea-inducing to look at.
You're about to go out and hunt down Darkseid, boss's orders. Total Thanos wannabe, if you ask… you. Or perhaps Mr. California Raisin is a Darkseid wannabe? Eh, who gives a shit about who came first? All you know is that you've got a job to do, and Darkseid’s one very ugly chicken or egg you’re about to crack.
But you've been stuck for at least five hours now, scratching your masked head, pondering over what the hell you should pack.
You've got katanas. Grenades. Pistols. Your trusty Hello Kitty pez dispenser, placenta face cream (hey, even a merc's gotta moisturize), and a collection of Celine Dion's greatest hits. A little soulful background music really adds that certain je ne sais quoi to a boss fight, doesn’t it?
You prod at your leftover box of Lo Mein with one of your swords, contemplating your next move. You need to prepare, but hello, you're Deadpool. Preparation usually means making sure you have enough chimichangas to last the trip.
Which weapon to take? How many packets of hot sauce would you need? Could you get away with only packing one pair of underwear?
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