Boat (Fight) Club (Closed)

Karl Jak

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It was an island, sure. Was it also a boat? Maybe. It was hard to tell.

Either way, the Bonds disembarked and found themselves outside an oversized building with the appearance of a rundown warehouse.

"'Ello!" A voice shouted as the doors of the warehouse opened up and an ogre in a top hot came sauntering out. "Welcome to the Boat Club House." He seemed nonplussed by the scale of his visitors.

***​

Characters Involved: Skywarp, Thundercracker, the Red Baron

Notes: You are at the Fight Club. The operator (Tyrelle Durndar) is an ogre with a very thick accent from some island somewhere. You're not 100% sure. He is the operator of Fight Club, a place that seems entirely oblivious to the unmaking or the Containment Zone set up to contain the former. Important - When you enter the club, you'll be reverted to your normal self (implying many things about Mr. Durndar that he'll never answer). You can chat with him and his patrons at the club, as there's probably three dozen people around the complex.

Mr. Durndar, through some strange intelligence, is aware that you're seeking navigation through the area. He has charts that he'll part with if you agree to one of the follow deals:

1. Pay him 15,000 Coin (This will be split up and removed from your DA Prize)
2. Leave 'a memento of yourself' (everyone suffers a Major Injury by tearing off some substantial part of your body)
3. Give him 'a lot more clubhouse members' (you'll ask a large number of soldiers to stay here and punch each other for fun(?), which will cost each of you 2 Points)
4. Two of you fight each other to (near) death in the Fight Club ring

You can also opt to... just leave. He's a pleasant dude.
 

Don Isaac

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The trio of fighter craft skimmed across the dark waves beneath them, the wake of their flight leaving a deep divot into the black seas, fanning out from their wings. "Rustbucket ahead," came the voice of T.C over the radio as the irritant gave a waggle of his wings, forcing Isaac to adjust for the sudden turbulence, cursing silently as he did so.

The man wasn't wrong, though. A massive structure floated on the waves, in defiance of all nautical sense, barely more intact than the ruined factory that he had left to plummet into the seas not long ago. "Well then," Isaac said, reaching out and adjusting the iron sights of his machine gun as he maintained his course. "Ready to sink this scrap-heap?" Isaac quipped to his subordinates, only to be halted in his impending attack run by the perceptions of the Lady at his right hand.

"Hold on," Skylar said. "We've got a welcoming party- and that's, weirdly, not a euphemism."

Frowning, Isaac leaned forwards in his seat as he squinted at the warehouse doors that hung open on rusted rollers, brilliant light spilling out from within and silhouetting a massive figure waving an equally humongous hand.

"Well, I have to say that this is a first," Isaac mused. "I do recall my grandfather telling me he once interrupted a raid when his foe offered him a feast instead," the Don chuckled. The whole matter had ended with the two lords settling the matter with a drinking contest, much to the amusement and gratitude of the Yeomen who had been about to raise arms. "Be impolite to refuse freely offered hospitality," he grudgingly admitted, pulling up as he aborted the attack run and started to slow.

"What, we're just going to not kill them because they asked nicely?" Wailed the Lady Watari, grudgingly turning her own weapons away from the genial giant, bloated features steadily growing more apparent as they approached.

"Well, you do catch more fliers with honey than you do with vinegar," T.C replied, smarm dripping from his words, swiftly dissolving into acidic bickering with his wingmate. Ah- to have such unity. It had been long years since Isaac rode as a squire in support of his uncle, a part of the intricate mechanism of airborne warfare. As was often said- it was lonely at the top, and there were precious few greater heights than the floating keeps of home.

After a leisurely loop of the perimeter, the trio descended, alighting on a makeshift pier as mechanisms of varying complexity twisted and turned, shifting the warplanes into avatars of destruction as they strode across the rotting planks, the wood creaking and protesting beneath their weight.

At their fore was Don Isaac- a man out of time, out of place, and never quite possessed of a single doubt beneath his luxuriant locks. His formerly Red Baron was a beast of pistons and cabling, stripped of paint and pretence as the arrogance of the engineering shone through. It was a dare writ in steel, copper, and brass- come on and prove me wrong.

At his right strode the 'mech of Lady Watari- a woman of gleeful carnage and delightfully devious innuendos, her machine was a relic from a time before time, one that she rode as if it and her were one. It moved now with a languid grace, a hunting animal with the scent of blood in its nostrils, simply waiting for the signal to pounce forwards.

Stalking to his sinister side was T.C- his 'mech almost a twin to Lady Watari's, but his behaviour could not be more different. Whereas Skylar stalked and preened like a prized hunting animal, her wingmate capered like a jester, missing only the bells. Even the machine facsimile of a face resting atop synthetic shoulders smirked, visage split like a lunatic's grin.

Isaac felt it rather spoiled the effect, but he had to grudgingly admit that a massive mechanised figure giving a maniacal smile was somewhat intimidating.

Unfortunately, their host seemed to be unflappable, in stark contrast to the many flaps and ailerons built into his guests. It was a massive creature, larger than the Ogres his nurse had told him bedtime stories about, clad in a ragged top hat and several pairs of waistcoats crudely stitched together in an attempt to constrain his frame. "'Allo 'allo," the creature rumbled, vibrating Isaac's bones within his body as it dipped low in a bow, doffing its hat and baring a bald scalp that threatened to blind them with the gleam off its shining surface.

"Welcome to Fight Club- first rule bein', tell as many peoples as you can 'bout fight club," it said with a wink, a piggish red eye squinting shut for a moment. "Step on out an' come inside- we gots plenty for you. Lil' bit of appetisers, lots of booze, an' even more brawlin'," the creature grinned, teeth like tombstones baring themselves. They were claggy with grey flesh, fishbones stuck between monolithic molars as a desperate finger rolled about between malodorous gums and flapping lips.

"Dude, like- you do know you're in the middle of, like, an active warzone, right?" T.C asked, mechanical mien cocking a brow.

The Ogre only guffawed, clapping a hand onto a bloated stomach. "You flatterer," it growled, grinning wider. "Calling me fight club a proper warzone, yeah?"

Isaac chose to avoid addressing the problematic nature of this floating party-boat in the midst of a corrupt ocean and the rigorous purification efforts of the Syntech fleet. "Not out looking for a fight, then?" He asked, cocking his head within his cockpit.

"Always looking for a fight," the beast grinned. "Gimme some men, some money, or some blood, and I'd be happy to share my own knowledge. I been about these seas long enough to know all its little secrets."

"Usually comes down to oil and gold, doesn't it?" Lady Watari asked, emerging from his peripheral vision like a panther creeping out from the foliage. He was growing more used to her particular verbal panache, a dialect born from generations of modern warfare. Just how long had her people been fighting to believe her magnificent craft was aeons old?

"Well," Isaac chuffed. "I scarcely think we can afford to spend either in excess, but-" he leaned around the Ogre, inspecting the interior closely. The road of a crowd, the impact of knuckles against flesh, the smell of sweat, sawdust, and alcohol.

It was a mild improvement over the factory.

The wing-panels cocooning his physical form parted, allowing the Don to step from the confines of his cockpit to the pier, stretching his long-neglected legs.

"I daresay we can afford a few moments of respite. Care to dance, Lady Watari?" He said, unhelming himself and giving a still-pristine smile towards the still-mounted pilot, his helmet having preserved the immaculate design of his moustache from the rotten bile that had been prevalent throughout this cursed realm.
 

Arthur Morgan

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For a beat, silence. Then, a faint crackling noise could be heard, followed by a loud whoosh as the yellow-tinted glass of Skywarp's cockpit cleared, its opaque hue fading into an only slightly less murky translucence.

Through the misty veil, the vague figure of Skylar emerged, the cockpit opening slowly like the petals of a flower to reveal her presence. With great grace, she sprung from her crystalline coffin and performed a nimble pirouette to the ground.

She descended with preternatural poise, her stilettoed heels crunching on the barnacle-encrusted planks of the deck. The flaps of her violet coat fanned out like wings alongside her bent legs, the scent of motor oil and ozone clinging heavily to the fabric.

Standing upright, she beamed a wolfish smile at Isaac, looping a lock of her hair around one perfectly-manicured finger.

"Dancing, huh?" she mused with an air of devilish pleasure, crimson eyes glittering. Her dark-painted lips twisted up at the corners, as if fighting to suppress a bout of laughter. "Well, we've already taken quite a few twirls beneath the stars, haven't we? The sky's as good a ballroom as any. I would be a fool, if an exemplary one, to deny you now!"

Don Isaac stepped forward, gallantly offering an arm of which the intrepid Skylar eagerly grabbed hold. She spun into his orbit with an impish flourish of her flight jacket, coiling her fingers around his bicep perhaps a bit tighter than necessary, the tender flush of her cheeks darkening to an even duskier, more inviting hue.

"Ah, how truly favored am I," the Don purred, the radium-green of his eyes fixed upon her, ensnared by her presence, her energy, the lingering electrical-burning scent that permeated the scant distance between them. "I fear I would never salvage my pride after being spurned by one such as you."

Skylar stifled a rather unladylike snicker, concealing it with the back of her hand.

As they approached the entrance, however, she paused. She turned her gaze upwards to look at Thundercracker— never one to forget her dear wing-brother, particularly when it came to partying.

"You comin' along, TC?" she asked, lifting one delicate brow in question, a rather keen Isaac hovering in her periphery.

The towering mech had been watching the pair with a stern expression, the massive span of his wings drooping in disapproval. Upon being addressed, however, the crimson glow of his optics dimmed— and moments later Tyler C. Racker leaped from his cockpit with a surprising agility, tumbling down to the slatted boards beneath.

Erecting himself as tall as a giraffe, Racker yanked his sunnies out from his breast pocket, propelling them up and onto the bridge of his beak-like nose with a sly grin. "Yeah, I’ll come along. Someone's gotta keep an eye on you two wildcats..."

The interior of the bar was chaotic and wild; a heady collection of odors and sounds that assaulted the senses. Unfiltered cigar smoke commingled with the stench of liquor, body odor, and dirt, whilst low conversations turned to boisterous laughter as whiskey was poured, sloshed, and spattered into glass after glass. The walls were composed of wood gone rotten with dampness and disrepair, portholes framed with rust allowing meager rays of light to streak through the hazy, tobacco-laden atmosphere.

At the heart of this spectacle was a den of brutishness, a structure that in politer parlance might have been called an arena. Its floor was lined with scattered sawdust, recessed into the ship's deck and bordered by a set of thick wooden posts that had clearly absorbed countless blows over the years. An unruly mob surged at its edges, hooting and hollering with noisy, bloodthirsty revelry.

Staggering in the midst of this makeshift coliseum were two warriors locked in a frenzied brawl; their sweat-drenched bodies heaving and glistening in the intense heat as they pushed on for victory, the clamor of the crowd seething around them urging them forward.

The violence reached its peak when one man dealt a particularly damning jab to his opponent— sending a broken tooth tumbling through the air, its yellow-white surface gleaming in contrast to the spatter of fresh red that trailed behind it.

It was to this spectacle that Don Isaac, Lady Watari, and Racker entered the Fight Club. The tooth, ejected from its bloodied mooring, flew and landed by the tip of Watari's boot. Its glazed surface was slick with saliva: pockmarked by wood shavings, dirt, and enough decay to make any dentist weep.

"Charming," murmured Isaac, his dark hair spilling over his forehead in a cascade of tousled ringlets, curled by the humid atmosphere.

His green gaze immediately targeted the bar's wares, glinting as if he could discern their worth with a mere glance. He strode through the unrestrained mob with a dignified grace, the sea of rabble-rousers parting smoothly around him, perhaps cowed by his commanding presence and aristocratic bearing.

Skylar wavered, torn between the insane desire to plunge into the maelstrom of the arena or remain glued to her beau's side. Inevitably, she bowed to the latter and followed Isaac to the bar, Racker sweeping shortly behind.

Libations were secured, each one custom-tailored to the individual. Isaac requested a glass of only the most exquisite vintage, while Skylar was served a tumbler of quite possibly lethal firewater. Racker acquired an elaborately adorned cocktail with no less than three umbrellas and a curly straw— three squiggles.

But eventually, after thirsts were sated, it was time for the main event.

Isaac's countenance bloomed with much the same crimson hue as the wine in his glass. He extended a hand, steadfast despite the tremble of anticipation that ran through it, eyes ablaze with the same take-no-prisoners determination one might glimpse amid the fire and blood of the battlefield.

The dance floor was his domain, and Lady Watari's favor— the trophy to be claimed —was surely within his grasp!

He bowed lowly. "My lady," he entreated with an air of grace, voice velvet-soft. "Would it please you to join me in this dance?"

Skylar's teeth gleamed in a sharp grin as she thrust her glass towards TC, already bouncing to her feet. "Would it ever!"

She seized Isaac's gloved hand with one of her own, and with a gentle tug they were off— giddily making their way towards the center of the club.

Old-fashioned waxed boards made up the establishment's dance floor. Time had taken its toll, the wooden planks stained with dark skid-marks from decades of careening boots and uncouth gyrations alike. A shallow divot marked the middle, bearing the distinct markers of a forehead, chin and nose; it was plain to see that the thrills of Fight Club ventured far beyond the bounds of its makeshift arena, at least on occasion.

Not many of the club's patrons occupied the dance floor at that moment, far too distracted by the ongoing brawls to commit to an act so ostensibly bloodless in comparison. But Isaac and Skylar knew better. Dancing was a battle in its own right, if only one was able to obtain a skilled enough partner. It was an art, and one with dire consequences if either side should falter.

And oh, what a wild pair they made! Don Isaac De Metralla's armor blazed a deep crimson under the dim, hazy lighting, as if awash in blood. The brown leathers beneath were plain in comparison, yet had an unmistakable style to them— taut and trim, but loose enough for freedom of movement; all in all, a rigorously tailored ensemble that provided sufficient flexibility for their waltz.

Her slender arms draped around his shoulders like a silken scarf, Skylar looked resplendent in her violet flight jacket, the heels of her boots clipping out a crisp rhythm against the floorboards. What she lacked in delicacy she more than made up for with her zeal, matching the Red Baron step for step, spurred on by the occasional whispered adulation.

The club echoed with her joyous abandon as she spun and twirled, an ecstatic peal of laughter bubbling forth from her lips as they gallivanted across the floor.

All the while, Racker sat slumped at the bar, a dejected figure with a riot of soggy, drooping umbrellas nestled inside his glass.

His wing-brother's lithe, almost ethereal movements blended seamlessly with the human pilot's own stride, carrying them around the dance floor in a whirling dervish of color. It was strange to see Warp in such an uncharacteristic light, but one could not deny her skill as she glided and spun as gracefully as she might move in the air, the two pilots braiding their steps into a harmonious dance.

How could she show such disdain for organic creatures in one breath, yet be so lively and affectionate with the Red Baron? Was this man simply unique, an anomaly among humans, or had TC overlooked something— something vital that would explain Warp's peculiar fondness for the man?

He was violently torn from his thoughts as Warp abruptly crashed into the chair next to him, still delirious with laughter. Not a single lock of her hair had been disturbed by her energetic capering, not even the faintest sheen of sweat marring her brown skin.

"This place is great," she exclaimed, the words slurring crazily as she tossed back her drink. Her eyes flicked over to observe the Don as he called for another glass, the tip of her tongue darting out to lick away the beads of moisture dancing upon her upper lip. "You should go with me next, TC, I think ol' Don's gonna need a sec to refuel—"

Racker slouched across the bar with a weariness that penetrated his bones, elbows propping him up like narrow pillars supporting the ramshackle skeleton of an old, decrepit house. His hand sought purchase in his frizzed mop of hair, eyes roving over the slick bar top, eventually coming to rest upon a murky pool of some unknown ooze seeping through its wooden surface. He stared at it wonderingly, as if its sticky depths might reveal the secrets of the universe.

TC pursed his lips, seeming genuinely pained by the task ahead of him. Then, he spoke.

"You have to tell him."

Warp froze, her glass still poised at her lips. She slowly lowered it to her lap, turning her face to Racker with wide eyes, at last tearing her gaze away from the Don's high-born profile.

"What?" she asked, a frosty pall of disbelief coloring her tone.

"You know what I mean," said Racker, carefully lowering his voice so that the general din of the bar camouflaged his words. "You can't keep on like this. It isn't right. He's an organic... a human. They take things like this personal."

Warp huffed angrily, setting down her drink with a little more force than she'd really intended to use. "It isn't like it's anything serious, TC. I mean, I’m— we're just playing around, right? He's fine."

They both gazed down the bar to where Don Isaac still patiently awaited his drink, eyeing up the barkeep and their stingy pouring hand. He glanced up briefly, flashing a blinding grin in Skylar's direction; she managed a weak twitch of her lips in return, the expression not quite meeting her eyes.

"This'll end in disaster and you know it, Warp," TC continued. "I've seen it a dozen times—"

"Yeah, in your goofy movies," Warp snorted, dismissing him with a flap of her hand.

But TC soldiered on, unrelenting. "I've seen it a dozen times, and you're no Autobot. If this is a sick joke or something, you'd better stop it now, before things get ugly."

An entirely unfamiliar emotion contorted Warp's face; doubt. She squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. "Since when did you get so nosy? This isn't the plot of some holo-drama, dude... I've got things completely under control."
 

King Shark

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“Holo-drama? Holo-drama!?” Tyler’s hand flew to his mouth. He physically recoiled. “How can you be so callous? I mean, look at you!”

He gestured at Skylar, top to bottom, and sniffed.

“You’re baiting this guy. And for what? You’re going to draw him in, chew him up with those sharp dentae of yours, and spit him back out,” Racker pulled out a cigar, jammed it in his mouth, struck a match against the rough of the bar’s unfinished wooden counter, and held it to the end, pulling deeply.

“Look at me?” Skylar snapped back, her tone flinty. “Look at you. You’ve gone native.”

Racker inhaled his cigar, coughed loudly into his hand, exhaled a cloud of smoke, and was for a moment obscured within its haze. When it dissipated, his craggy face looked bemused. He had a long face that was made for a cigar, with one bushy eyebrow quirked up. His mouth hung open around the stogie, looking half-amused and all-patronizing.

“You know, that’s a speciesist thing to say,” Tyler informed her, blowing a smoke ring her way. “There’s a lot to love about the organics. They’ve got cinema. They’ve got art. They’ve got passion. They’ve got cigars. They’ve got gambling! You’d better believe they’ve got gambling. What a rush! Down at the race tracks, tossing a fat stack down on a magnificent beast, then riding that wave straight to the bank…or to the gutter. It’s a thrill! It’s a much better thrill than…whatever this cruel charade you’ve got going is.”

Warp frowned, and waved a dismissive hand.

“We’re done talking about this. Don’t bring it up again,” Skylar murmured, as Don Isaac approached. “I mean it.”

“...and you know what else?” Tyler stated, flaring suddenly. “Goofy movies? I bet you haven’t even seen The Goofy Movie!”

He slammed down his drink, splashing something vibrant across the counter. Don Isaac, taking a seat on the other side of Skylar, stiffened at the lack of poise. Tyler didn’t care. ‘Your goofy movies,’ she had said… Well, the Goofy Movie wasn’t his. It, and its sequel, belonged to everyone.

“I haven’t,” admitted Skylar.

Which was a shame, because Tyler was sure she’d probably like it.

“...when this is over, that’s the first thing we’re doing. We’re watching The Goofy Movie. I won’t have you disrespecting it.”

“That’s not what I-”

Tyler cut her off.

“I won’t have it!”

“We shouldn’t be fighting like this,” Warp stated, leaning back with a sigh.

Isaac’s eyes, almost unnaturally green, seemed to glimmer.

“This is a Fight Club,” he corrected, wearing a confident smile. “If there were a place for the two of you to fight, this would be it.”

Skylar stifled a snicker, taken in by his charm, while Tyler’s eyebrows climbed his forehead. What Warp found handsome and dashing, TC found pompous and waspish. And those flight leathers? Forget about it. This was a man whose joy could be found in a glass of fine red, out on a veranda somewhere, gazing contemplatively on those beneath him while he pondered his station. While he held an undeniable prowess on the battlefield…

Tyler stood, lifted his drink, finished it in a gulp, planted his cigar back in his mouth, then jammed his thumbs in the pockets of his postmodern corduroys. On his lifted plats, he loomed over the pair.

“Maybe we should go,” Tyler suggested, slurring the words out of the corner of his mouth around the cigar. “We’ve still got a job to do. We’ve been here for-”

“I’m aware of the job,” the Commandant replied, an air of authority layered above a waxing annoyance disguised in his tone. “...but it would be the height of impropriety to find an opportunity to promenade with a Lady such as this and simply neglect it.”

Skylar’s eyes twinkled, and she smiled.

“What a gentleman,” she purred, leaning forward for a sip of her drink.

Tyler sneered.

“Well, I’m leaving. With or without you.”

He turned on his heel and strutted away, like a cigar smoking ostrich, goose-stepping angrily.

To his satisfaction, however, he heard them rise to a stand behind him, barstools scraping against the rough concrete floor.
 

King Ghidorah

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The Last Emperor, towering over ground so covered in scrap-metal and garbage that it was difficult to determine whether there was actually any land under there, looked down at the dapperly appointed ogre. A tactical detachment of Syntech mercenaries swarmed like ants around his writhing tentacles, weapons at the ready.

‘SUP MANG. BANGIN’ HAT.

The ogre smiled. It was terrible.

“Well well well, then. I can see that you are a gentleman of rare taste... Come on in! Bring yer friends! I think perhaps we can do biz’ness, you an’ I – or at the very least have a li’l bit o’ rough an’ tumble!”

The ogre turned, adjusted his ratty cufflinks with a flourish, the muscles in his back rippling beneath his tatterdemalion waistcoat, and strode back into the warehouse.

“’ave a drink. Have two! Food, fightin’… the other thing what starts with ‘F’. We gots it all! … mostly fightin’ though. We know what we’re about.”

The Last Emperor blinked, puzzled. The rundown establishment was huge, yeah, but not big enough to accommodate a creature that could lay down on an aircraft carrier like it was a 100-billion credit deck-chair. Eventually, he shrugged, got down on his gargantuan stomach and stuck his bill in the gaping, dilapidated entryway.

Abruptly, Rory was no longer a towering abomination of terrible and eldritch power. Abruptly, he was once again a kinda-weird penguin, standing just inside the threshold of an enormous ramshackle tavern-slash-clubhouse-slash-arena with a carnival atmosphere and the aesthetics of a dilapidated 19th century dockside speakeasy.

The eldritch whispers screeched in protest, but they were strangled and distant. For the first time since he’d assaulted the Skull Fortress, Rory was one hundred percent confident that what he was seeing was definitely real.

He waddled rapidly after the ogre, little sparks of aurora guttering in the depths of his beady eyes like a bad pilot-light on a cheap gas stove, webbed feet slapping comically against the waxy, alcohol-stained floorboards.

“D00d! Hey! Wait up, mang! How did you do that?”

The Ogre glanced back over his shoulder and grinned. It was still terrible, but now that Rory was considerably smaller than the hulking showman, the penguin was able to much more fully appreciate its rankness: his entire body could fit between those teeth.

“I don’t know what yer on about, friend. Now, come an’ ‘ave a seat. Let’s have ourselves a chin-wag, eh?”

Rory followed him through the crowd, sparse for the size of the space, to a little sitting area beside the fighting. It was raised above the surrounding floorboards, overstuffed chairs resting on planks stretched across the tops of a pallet of empty barrels, accessible via a stepladder cordoned off by moldering red-velvet ropes.

The ogre moved the rope aside gingerly, with thumb and massive forefinger as thick as a man’s wrist, and gestured magnanimously.

“Go on up. The next brawl’s about to start, an’ it’ll be a proper slobberknocker if they know what’s good for ‘em. I’ll be right behind ya.”

Rory glanced back. Syntech’s mercenaries were slowly filtering into the building, variously cautious, professional, and gormlessly enthusiastic, but all visibly and rapidly relaxing into the rough-hewn rhythm of the club. The energy of the place, the sour scent of sweat, swill and sawdust coupled with the carnival atmosphere and the straightforward nature of the Boat Club – it was a boat, it was a club, people got drunk and punched each other – was having a disarming effect on even the most battle-hardened and circumspect soldier of fortune.

Nobody even seemed concerned that Rory had reverted to his accustomed shape.

It was weird; The whole thing was weird – but it was also incredibly earnest, and the penguin couldn’t judge how much of it was the ogre’s doing (he obviously had some serious mojo) and how much of it was just what happened when you gave a bunch of d00ds in a war-zone a place that looked like maybe they could relax for a change.

He mounted the step-ladder, pulling himself up from one step to the next with a minimum of scrabbling and grunting. Was it a little demeaning to have to deal with the usual anthropocentric bullshit? Absolutely, mang. But hey, grubby or not, any entrepreneur worth the name knew you didn’t say ‘no’ when the manager invited you to the VIP lounge to talk business.

He found himself a chair, the velvet upholstery worn bald and mildewed stuffing spilling from the overwrought seams, pulled himself up one final time - and sank into it, very nearly disappearing into the appallingly soft cushion.

In the arena below, two muscular men with expertly waxed handlebar moustaches and impressive collections of nautical tattoos were squaring up to fight - but that wasn’t what caught his attention.

In front of him, on the half-a-barrel that served as a table, there was a single discarded orange-peel. He tried to reassure himself that it was just a leftover garnish from somebody’s drink, or something equally innocent.

It was hard to tell, but from whatever dark corner they had been forced down into the eldritch whispers seemed to be laughing at him.

The tension of the moment was broken by his host flopping down upon a chair beside him, which protested mightily, springs and wood creaking in pain; The impact of the ogre taking a load off shook the entire platform.

Below, the fight began.

There wasn’t a lot of artistry to it – just a lot of enthusiasm. Fists flew, jaws clenched, and muscles shuddered. The smack and grunt of meat and bone colliding echoed through the club, and the clamouring onlookers gathered around the arena cheering.

“Pardon me a moment,” said the ogre, lighting a massive cigar with a match. He stood, distended belly juddering as he bellowed furiously at the gladiators below.

“Put yer back into it, Danny! Use the elbow! The elbow, ya git!”

There was a crack, a spray of blood and a roar from the crowd. The proprietor nodded, puffed on his king-sized stogie and sat back down.

“Now. As I was sayin’ earlier, I think we c’n do biz’ness. I seen ya, and I says to meself, I says ‘Tyrelle, that there is a businessperson, not the bloody psychos, toffs and soldiers you been dealin’ with of late’. Now, I am but the humble master of this establishment, but I happen to know that I ‘ave something you want -and I’m willin’ to make ya a deal.”

Rory blinked, wiggled in his seat, trying to get comfortable without disappearing into the cushion completely. This situation was moving very fast, but it was also the most relaxed he’d been since signing up for DA in the first place. An impromptu business meeting with a mysterious power-broker on a floating gladiatorial arena in international waters was just exactly his speed.

Ideally, the mendacious waterfowl wouldn’t have been super-broke going into it, but you can’t have everything. He’d figure something out.

“Sure thing, mang. I’m all about the deals. Fat stacks and fast money, that’s how I do business. You got the right d00d, d00d. So, uh, what kind of goods are we talking about?”

Tyrelle grinned, foul smoke leaking frow between his stone-slab teeth and curling around his piggish eyes. “Navigational charts, me fine feathered friend. These waters are treacherous – just exlporin’ will only get ya so far. You’ve got to know where you’re going - and you’ve got a job to do, eh? Ol’ Karl Jak’s got ya by the bollocks? So ‘ere’s me proposal…”

The ogre layed it all out as Rory listened with growing concern. He could pay an actual fortune, which he didn’t have. He could mutilate himself - ‘as a momento, like, for me mantelpiece’ - he could have a go-round in the fighting pit... or he could leave the detachment of Syntech mercenaries behind as a permanent fixture of the clubhouse, to drink and fight and just generally behave badly for the foreseeable future.

Rory relaxed into his overstuffed chair and thought, blocking out the roar of the crowd and the panting of the increasingly exhausted fighters in the arena. On the one hand, the captain of the carrier probably wouldn’t be happy about a bunch of his marines deserting in order to punch each other and get drunk and touch boobs. On the other hand, that super was not Rory’s problem. Compared to the other options, ditching his escorts was basically getting the charts for free – and he did want those charts. Knowing where stuff was was like, the first step of prosecuting a war. Probably.

“You got a deal, mang – I got no money, but you can definitely keep my d00ds. They probably won’t even take much convincing. Just one thing though – who left that orange peel on the table?”

He pointed with a flipper at the little twist of fruit rind. It was probably nothing, but after all the orange-eating hallucinations of his former employer it was really, really bothering him.

Tyrelle squinted at him, then at the peel. His horrible smile edged from cocksure swagger over into outright mischief. “Ah, it’s just some rubbish. Ya know how it is with VIPs. Just because they pay for somethin’ the bloody fools think they own the place.”
 
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