Kirino Ranmaru Character Application

[Kirino Ranmaru]

Username: Kirino Ranmaru

Have you read the rules? Yes

Character Name: Kirino Ranmaru

Character Source: Canon (Inazuma Eleven Go)

Starting Location: Erde Nona

Character Behavior:
Kirino Ranmaru character behavior would be Considerate Graceful.


As someone who is Considerate, Kirino is one to care about the ones close to him, showing to be reasonable regarding the situation he and the others are in. While he can show a bit of concern towards strangers, he still can empathize and show kindness with people he hasn’t met before after some explanation.

And he is graceful. Whenever he is on the field, his movement’s show how light and skilled he can be. Having a rather elegant style surrounding him overall, a thing that can be seen by his agility.

Physical Description:

Kirino is 5’3 feet tall and weighs 143 lbs. He has a rather slim body with an athletic build. Despite that, his look's are rather feminine, especially when you consider the two large blond pigtails he has. This boy also has azure eyes and wear's glasses. He is currently a tracksuit with the insignia of the lightning, that directly connects with Raimon Junior High, with his school's football club uniform underneath it, dark yellow with blue strips in the shoulder.

Character History:

Just like most kids, Kirino had a best friend since a relatively young age, Shindou. The two of them usually hung around together, mostly around Shindou’s home. They were in the same classes and joined Raimon’s football club at around the same time. While they always had fun, Kirino always felt he had been trying to catch Shindou. However, that wouldn’t stop them from getting promoted to the first team at the same time, Kirino as a defender and Shindou as a midfielder. In the same year, Shindou would get promoted to captain, as Kirino seemed supportive of his friend despite everything.


After the arrival of Tenma and his wind of revolution, Kirino became the fifth Raimon player to defy the actions of the Fifth Sector and play football as the way it truly was meant to be played: for fun, for victory, for satisfaction. One by one, Raimon was able to beat all the team’s in it’s way and win the Holy Road and with that, changed school football.

Not much after the victory upon DragonLink in the final of the Holy Road tournament yet another threat arrived with only one goal in mind: erasing football from history. Kirino as well as nearly almost the entire raimon squad ended up leaving the club for a temporary time until Tenma and the ones remaining were able to solve some of the problems caused by Protocol Omega and Protocol Omega 2.0 in the timeline.

Eventually Raimon went on a quest around time to gather a team with enough strength to defeat El Dorado and form the Strongest Eleven in History, the Chrono Storm. During this mess of adventures back and forth in time, Kirino ended up mix and maxing with Jeanne d’Arc, the heroine of France that lived in the medieval era and gave moral and strength to the french troops against the English, officially making him part of the Chrono Storm team.

While the path wasn’t easy, they were able to defeat every single team El Dorado sent, only to find out there seemed to be another threat in their midst: The Second Stage Children forced an incomplete Chrono Storm and barely able to survive El Dorado to fight to determine the fate of the future. A crushing defeat in the first match, followed by a last minute win in the second match and a draw in the third one forced the two faction’s to have one final match: The best players of the Second Stage Children side, lead by Saryuu, against the now completed Chrono Storm, lead by Tenma. A match that ended up with Chrono Storm defeating the Second Stage Children and both football, future and future lives of the Second Stage Children were saved.

Months later, after the reveal of the new Inazuma Japan members and their total destruction at the hands of Teikoku Academy in front of millions, Kirino and the rest of the Raimon as well as other Japanese players felt a mixture of anger and confusion with the coach's team choice. After coming back home, feeling both disappointed and not understanding the coach’s decision, Kirino ended up training by himself until the sun set.

For unknown reasons, it seems like Kirino got stuck in his Miximax form with Jeanne D’Arc, not being able to revert back to his normal form for unknown reasons.

What starting Affinity does your character have? Specialized

Abilities/Skills:

The Mist {450}
-> w/ Affects Multiple II (100)
-> w/ Indirect II (200)
-> w/ Concealment (Sight) II (200)
-> w/ Activation (-50)

Description: The user walks towards the direction of it’s target, as a thick cloud of mist surrounds him and the area around the adversary As the mist surrounds them, the target won’t be able to see anything in front of it, like if it was surrounded by a mist.

La Flamme {500}
-> w/ Damage II (200)
-> w/ Indirect II (200)
-> w/ Ranged II (100)


Description: The user crosses their arm as flames begin to appear from them. The user then spins around in mid-air as a giant wall of flame appear to block and harm it’s target.

How much Essence did you spend? 950

How much Essence do you have left? 1050

Were you referred by an existing member? Mocha

 

[Arthur Morgan]

Hello and welcome to Multerra! Let me take a look at your application real quick...

For your Character History, it doesn't seem like you have mentioned how your character came to be in our setting! Since you intend to start on Erde Nona, please explain how your character arrived there. This could be accomplished via an inter-dimensional portal, they just woke up there, etcetera.

For "The Mist" -

Abilities are structured around Effects, which broadly cover what the ability does. These Effects then have modifiers applied to them to further explain how they function.

For example, when writing a basic "Knife" ability, that would naturally have a Damage Effect. But, then you might say that your character can be disarmed when wielding said Knife! Thus, you could then apply the Removable modifier to your Damage Effect. You would write this like so:

Knife
- Damage Rank 1 (100)
-> Removable (-50)
Total Cost: 50E

A simple kitchen knife for dealing minor slashing damage. Can be knocked from the wielder's grasp.

For your "The Mist" ability, it seems here that you may have confused this a bit by listing the Effects and modifiers out of order. I would recommend reordering things to look more like the below example, with a clear indication that your modifiers are being applied to the Concealment Effect:

The Mist {450}
- Concealment (Sight) II (200)
-> w/ Affects Multiple II (100)
-> w/ Indirect II (200)
-> w/ Activation (-100)

In addition to the above notes, I would say that this Ability requires the Ongoing modifier if you want the mist to last for more than a few seconds. Your Activation modifier would also subtract 100E from the total cost, not just 50E, since it is being applied to a Rank 2 Concealment Effect.

Finally, when writing your description for "The Mist", please note how long it takes for this ability to activate and make it clear that the mist is able to affect multiple targets within its radius! For example, just write something like this in your description: "The mist takes shape over the course of 10 seconds, affecting any targets caught within its 20 ft radius."

For "La Flamme" -

Like I explained above for "The Mist," please reformat this Ability to make it more clear that the Indirect and Ranged modifiers are being applied to the Damage Effect. I also noticed that you mentioned in your description that this ability is able to "block" a target. Do you mean that it can protect your character from damage? If so, you may need to also have the Protection Effect listed here, with its own modifiers.

Additionally, could you elaborate in your description on how this ability is Indirect? An ability with the Indirect modifier can bounce around corners, for example, or generally seek out any target that your character can still actively perceive to harm them. Based on your description, I'm not seeing a reason why you have added the Indirect modifier.

If you need more help or have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!