Need an edit

Retane

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https://multerra.zulenka.com/index.php?threads/oh-my-porunga.470/#post-3275

Need that post edited as Follows:

He laid there, slowly takng a breath. The smell was of fresh rain, moist air and tasted of undergrowth. He took another breath, smelling the same things but also the hint of iron, slightly rusted. It was blood. His senses flared as he tried to discern where he was, while he also tried to remember what had happenend last. Everything felt foggy other than the urgency to open his eyes and see what was going on. His eyes jutted open, or so he thought, and there was nothing in his vision but a murky white color. He tried to move but nothing happened.

This felt almost familiar to him.

A warm hand rested upon what he could guess was his chest, "Retane, listen to me and follow the sound of my voice. I know you are in there, and there are a lot of questions, but I need you to focus on me. Focus on me and only my voice."

As the voice spoke Retane could hear cries in the background, and could feel sadness and confusion in the air.

"Retane. Focus on me. My name is Enroshia, and I am your friend. We all are."

Retane felt as if he attempted to look around and tried to focus, but there were whimpers and he still couldn't see anything. All he felt was warmth on his chest, almost beckoning him to, but for some reason something was causing him to be apprehensive.

"Am I dead?" Retane spat out. He felt a warm liquid spew from what should be his mouth.

"No, Retane," a familiar voice called as he felt warmth in two other spots of what should be a body. "I'm here with your daughter, and while we dont know where we are in there, we are going to try and heal you."

Daughter? He had kids. His mind raced. He had six. No, he had seven. Or six? One was dead. No. Retane had given his life to safe them all right? What was going on?

"He isn't focusing, Alaina. Naturae. We need him to focus." It was Enroshia that seemed to be stern with the other two.

Naturae. That was his one and only daughter. He remembered. What did he do to have her trying to save him? He knew he never meant to be a burden.

"Dad." He knew her sweet voice and if he cried, he felt the tear swept away. "Listen Dad. They tell me you are lost but there's a chance that you can hear me, so I need you to listen to me and come to me. You promised me it would all be ok, and that Lone would be here, but without you or her here I would be lost. They don't know our connection like me and you do, so, please come, back to me."

Retane felt as if he tried to answer her call and tried to remember Lone and when he did all he could do was see a set of sad eyes.

"It's been hours and nothing's working right?" There was a voice that came off as sad, but Retane felt this one was usually more energetic, and there seemed to be alot of people talking him agaisnt something and suggested there was another way.

There was a hard sound of metal clanking and a few murmurs followed by a single voice, "This ones only because I believe in you."

It was then that Retane felt a figure over him and two hands grab the back of his head and for an instant could see a dragon coming at him.
 
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