V S M Oh fleeting humanity, shed like the skin of a snake, I am left yearning.

[Fenix]

Suwako's eyes turned to the streets of Uruk, bags appearing under them as they hadn't since she'd first made not-very-much-landfall in Opealon.

She had faith to nourish her, at least for now, so that was not her problem - at least, not exactly.

Sutor had been a potent fusion, one that had enhanced her understanding of ambition and her drive in a way it hadn't been sharpened... ever! For a being with ten thousand years behind her, firsts were rare and treasured. Both she and Vic had, however, understood the price of that fusion afterwards.

The first was, of course, that the power Sutor held was held back by both of their weakened forms. they'd hoped to strengthen themselves for the good of Uruk in the absence of that fused power.

The second and more obvious issue was that once Sutor appeared on the field she was not inclined to actually leave, so if they wanted to enjoy some peace, quiet, and individuality they'd have to be a little careful when and where they adopted the fused Goddess's form. Suwako's power had been diminished by a lack of faith, and Vic's from a general lack of familiarity with this world...

One of many, and one Suwako found greater understanding of from the help of Vic's brief merger. It wasn't right to make someone so short feel even smaller, in her opinion.

Still, this left Suwako stewing, feeling the weakness that had entered her body from so long relying on the fusion of another, and knowing she had fallen far from the old days where she could summon thunder and lightning, curse the soil and raze a village, even at her weakest. More importantly, though, was the loss of so much ambition, so many goals, so much raw enthusiasm for the world that had vanished long ago in the days of Suwako's youth.

Sutor had allowed her to focus forward, on what she was becoming, the fusion of a brilliant vizier and assassin with the age and wisdom of an ancient god. One who could be happy devoting herself to Lord Gilgamesh's cause and raising Uruk from the ground. One who was devoted to their ties with Sigmund, who was strongly connected to the potential she saw within Cho.

Without all of that, Suwako was left looking backwards, as a god in her twilight often did, and what she saw continued to hurt. over a year here, and no sign of Sanae. No hint of Kanako. The daughter she never expected to have and the woman who had been by her side for longer than human memory had both vanished. She could help Vic in his goals, of course, but that was hollow on it's own.

Suwako Moriya, the Curse goddess, found herself Cursed with a lack of ambition, and for a god who's survival was tied to the strength of her will, the greatness of her accomplishments, and her place in other's memories, she found a part of herself interested more in fading away right now.

"Hehehe..." Suwako chuckled. "So that was it? that was gensokyo?! Just a cruel joke played on me before my disappearance?" Suwako asked with a broad grin. "Yukari, you shouldn't have~" The goddess taunted, still unsure if the gap hag wasn't just somewhere, listening. The grin grew broader, as she felt something start to crack, her legs shaking as her voice grew, causing the humans around her to shirk away. "Curse you, then. may the earth take you and the rot leave your flesh naked for the maggots to feast!" She snapped, wheeling on her feet -

Only to bump into eight feet of green muscle and avoid a nasty collision with a loincloth.

"So you are here! Just as the visions told me..." A deep voice replied, human, if extremely baritone. "I am Carg Redwolf, great spirit. an Orc shaman."

Suwako looked up to see brutish fangs, sticking out of a green-skinned brute, easily doubling her in size and weight, with a well-worn axe by his side. he had his hair done in a long, flowing ponytail and long bangs that left him looking like a punk rocker's big brother.

"...Orc, huh? Haven't heard that one before. how about you catch me up somewhere we can sit down? This seems to be a serious conversation you're looking for, and I don't think I can handle one of those when you happen to be wearing shorts and I happen to be at Crotch level without laughing."

The Orc gave a slight blush, to Suwako's surprise and smirk. "I-I meant no disrespect, spirit-"

Suwako just waved the orc off with a relaxed smile. "Relax, o gifted one. I'm a few thousand years too old to be offended by such trifles. I don't know how your kind treats spirits when they ask for favors, but my customs dictate tea, time, and reflection."

Carg gave a nod, seeming a bit more on-balance with the response. "Of course, spirit."

"Moriya-sama will do fine. Suwako, if you must, will work as well."

 

[Fenix]

Suwako placed a hand under her chin as she gave a bemused smirk to the shaman on the other side of the white table. The cafe was made with a much more petite build than the large orc in mind, and even the largest mug they have looked tiny in his hands. Despite this, his table manners were actually better than Sanae’s, the sheer finesse within such a massive form impressing the earth kami.

“So, you come seeking me as a spirit. You have found one. I am Suwako Moriya. I am the impure soil beneath your feet, and the impure feelings within the human soul. I bring crops, and I bring curses. Or at least… I was. My connection is far more tenuous, as of late. What brought you to seek me out, Shaman?”

Karg Leaned forward slightly, thinking out his words carefully. “I was told you were a spirit in need, but also that we needed your help. My village is… far out in the wastes of the desert. We make a simple living, hunting the beasts of the Desert, but strange things have happened in the area. Water turns brackish, and Earth turns putrid. The animals die of disease we have never seen before, and our hunts often come home empty-handed, or with rotting meat. Our food stores suffer.”

Suwako tilted her head. This certainly sounded like some sort of curse. “Do you believe you have angered the spirits?”

“If we have, we have gained no answer, except to seek you out. I am unsure of their aim or goal… but it is said that you cannot help us.”

Suwako quirked an eyebrow, drinking a sip of her tea as she held back her knee-jerk response of irritation. “...So your spirits spoke of me as one unable to help, and you come seeking me? That seems quite unhelpful to your situation. Are you certain they didn’t just want you to leave for a few days?” Suwako replied, though there was no malice in it. It was just another conversational game, the Orc speaking for spirits that were likely filling him with riddles. Shamans were merely to speak them, not remove the sass, and older deities were filled with verbose riddles for the sake of it. Most of them, at least.

“It is said you cannot help us now, but that you may be able to if you find your core again.” Karg replied, “but you, spirit, seem of two minds now.”

Suwako blinked. “Well, that would make more sense if I was still a piece of Sutor, but I am one mind again. After all, Vic and I separated…”

Suwako blanched, as she realized the obvious joke there, but luckily, Carg Redwolf was too much of an innocent yokel to call her on the entendre.

“...Point being, my mind is my own.”

“Yet, you bear contradiction, spirit. To my eyes, it seems as though you do not act in accordance to your wishes… or, do you know what those wishes are?”

The words cut like a knife through Suwako as the orc continued, and her expression shifted slightly. “M… my introduction here has been tenuous, but…”

Hold on.

She was stuttering.

Not out of fear or to trick or create a mood. Was she… indecisive? She was a god! That was alien.

Suwako blinked, catching Carg’s eyes as she noticed a subtle shift in her hand.

Translucent.

“...I see your point.” Suwako replied, pursing her lips as she thought it through.

What was it she wanted?

What was it she was indecisive of?

Was it from her humanity? Or was it from her goals? What were her goals?

To join New Babylon? But that was just riding off the Coat-tails of a Victor goal, wasn’t it? One he felt Devoted to, primarily due to his own loyalty to kinand king… King Gilgamesh.

Gilgamesh.
Suwako narrowed her eyes. What Gilgamesh was, who he was, she had only viewed through victor’s memories and feelings. From there, she saw a flawless monarch who would rule well, and yet…

Victor was human. Fallible. He had the emotions of a human writing him, the experience of just a human determining his thoughts. Could she really trust those? Was Gilgamesh worth following? And…

Suwako let an elongated tongue leak from her mouth.

Was it worth following him even if he was a good king? Would he bring her the fulfillment she had lost since her last stay in Moriya shrine. Gilgamesh, though noble and Charismatic, lacked her majesty and grace, and was not likely the type to come out on a cool evening and share sake, reminiscing about the past. Victor, though spontaneous and amusing, lacked herenthusiasm and spunk, and would never be the type to badger her about the newest video game, or bring her on an enthusiastic walk and babble about nothing.

Was New Babylon the place for her, or was this simply a warm grave?

Suwako groaned. “And yet I find myself at an impasse. I feel a desire to serve Uruk, yet it is not my own, and I have no way of knowing how genuine those feelings may be. If this were only Gensokyo…

Suwako blinked.

If this were only gensokyo…

That was it. That was the missing piece.

Karg blinked in surprise, the shaman shifting in his seat as Suwako stepped atop it to meet his eyes, the transluceny of her hand fading.

“Perhaps I can help you, after all. But only after I finish something else.” Suwako replied.

Karg gave a nod, seeming… pleased. “What do you seek to do, oh great spirit of earth?”

“I’m testing Gilgamesh’s Mandate of Heaven, of course.”